trash queen

it’s insane that there’s multiple instances in history of people getting so riled up at an orchestral performance that they start a riot. how are you gonna get THAT buckwild about violins. how do you show up to work on monday when there’s a picture of you in the paper trying to decapitate a cellist cause he was being too cutting edge for you.

petition for straight white boys to not be allowed to pursue a film major at any college anywhere for the next 50 years or ever

my roommate is a straight white boy pursuing a degree in film and i know exactly what this post is trying to stop

What is it trying to stop?

This is literally the most embarrassing thing I have ever read

Me

Congratulations to our sleeper agent who planted this so creeps will embarrass themselves

[walks around with an entire big mac in my mouth but never actually biting down] It’s a metaphor, see: you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don’t give it the power to do its killing.

you took this from a fault in our stars augustus does the same thing only with a cigarette ok ok

i don’t know what you’re talking about this is an excerpt from my upcoming 100% original novel “the fart in our stalls”

wtf is an acronym 

and when Persephone was in the underworld she ate just one bite of avocado toast and so, from thence forth, was cursed to never own a home

do you ever feel yourself slowly losing your current hyperfixation but you’re not particularly interested in anything else rn so you have nothing to fill that void and ur just bored and ready for death

i love purple fedoras and my tits are huge

reblog if you love purple fedoras and your tits are huge

I don’t want to date. I just want to magically end up in a long-term and emotionally-secure relationship with someone cute

Do y'all remember being a kid and trying to read in the car while it was dark outside and your parents wouldn’t let you turn on the light so you would try to grab snatches of sentences when you passed by street lights

*republican voice* I got called an asshole once for saying i wanted to kill minorities and that’s how i know the left is a hate group

I learned the word “cum” from reading stephen king books, but he spelled it “come” like a good repressed new england boy so i always thought that’s how it was spelled + still prefer that spelling. Also now whenever i have an orgasm i think of stephen king