archived.

I’m constantly torn between the ‘be kind to everyone’ and the ‘fuck everyone you owe them nothing’ mentalities 

my white friends that have reblogged this give me life

4. Sometimes I am a shitty white person and the jokes remind me to FUCKIN STOP

If ur white and like this post I fux with u

^absolutely

5. It’s hard to be offended when white people jokes involve bland food/tourist dads in socks and sandals/white girls in yoga pants obsessed with pumpkin spice/suburban PTA moms and other harmless and mostly true stereotypes while jokes about POC involve them being called thugs/criminals/slurs/uneducated/illegal immigrants.

i fucks with u heavy if ur white and you reblog this

6. They’re usually really fucking funny and don’t perpetuate stereotypes that will ever affect me economically, politically, or cause me any true harm, let alone create risks that “justify” my murder and/or death

Grab your girlfriend’s ass like its the last piece of pie at thanksgiving dinner

Who grabs pie tho

*Lifts girls booty with one of those triangle pie scoop things*

christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”

“a career” “financial security” “a sex life” “tuition for grad school” “alcohol” “a nap” “socks would be nice”

Well now we know how he works out