Hello social decline my old friend

I’m a gentile, raised Mormon. This year, my dad and his wife are celebrating Hanukkah.

So, question one, is it okay for gentiles to celebrate Hanukkah? They’re being pretty careful, learning the rules, making sure to light the candles right and everything.

Now we go down a bit of a rabbit-hole. In the Mormon religion, there’s a belief - a “doctrine” - that all people are descended from the twelve tribes of Israel. In a special, personalized “patriarchal blessing” you receive around 15 or 16 years of age, your “descent” is revealed - that is, which tribe of Israel you belong to. This is not genetic. Parents and children and siblings can “belong” to different tribes. It has nothing to do with actual family history, and seems to be entirely symbolic, based on your apparent role in God’s plan.

When I questioned why they were celebrating Hanukkah, they claimed it was because they’re celebrating their heritage. As far as I’m aware, however, there is no Jewish blood in my family or my stepfamily, and they made mention of their “descent” from the twelve tribes of Israel, implying that they believe they have a right to this holiday because of that.

I’m baffled. I absolutely support learning about and respecting Jewish culture, but it’s not okay for them to claim that this holiday is for them, is it? They’re Christian. They’re sitting here reading an article titled “Hanukkah is for Christians.”

My name is Josh (he/him/his) and I’m a student rabbi and Jewish Educator living in New York City.

Thank you so so much for your thoughtful and very thorough question.  I really appreciate you reaching out to the Jewish community for some advice.  

In short, no.  It is not okay for a non-Jewish person to celebrate a Jewish holiday or perform a Jewish ritual unless they either (A) doing so in a Jewish space with or for the benefit of their Jewish loved ones or (B) doing so in preparation to convert to Judaism (and are working directly with a rabbi, cantor, or other Jewish person to help them on their blossoming Jewish journey).

I am not a fan of arguing that other people’s theological understanding of the world is incorrect as theology can be so personal, often confusing, and rather complicated.  So I do not feel comfortable commented specifically on this Mormon theology that you pointed out.  I believe that all religious beliefs that do not hurt another human being – or group of human beings – should be celebrated.  But I will comment specifically on the appropriation of Jewish rituals and why this is an act of antisemitism.

There is a growing movement in the Christian world – not just within the Mormon Church – of folks who believe that they have a right or a privilege to celebrate Jewish customs and holidays.  I have heard that many folks do it in the “name of Jesus,” or like in this case “because it is ‘our’ heritage.”   Both of these points are rather disturbing when you trace the atrocities committed against Jews by Christians throughout history. Christians are responsible for so much Jewish pain throughout history and have absolutely no right to appropriate Jewish traditions.  It is disrespectful, because regardless of how any non-Jew follows the “rules” one attempts to follow, it is still not their holiday, their custom, their heritage, nor their tradition.  

This is all my way of coming around to say that you are 100% correct friend.  And thank you for coming here for your Jewish siblings to reassure this uncomfortable feeling you might be feeling.  I also agree with your statement that learning about other people’s faith traditions is important.  Personally I love learning about Mormonism (if you have any fun articles, please send them my way!).  You are in the right here.

I’d like to end by adding a few fun tidbits that I am sure that your father and his wife might not be thinking about.   Every single Jewish holiday that we celebrate today is a product of evolution over time.  Most Jewish customs as well are a product of a slow evolution– meaning that the Jews would have practiced in Jesus’ time, is sharply different than the Judaism practiced of today.  As an example back in the first century, Jews were most likely having a debate about the custom around how many candles one should light– and in what order– on the Hanukiah (Hanukkah Menorah).  Although Jewish Law states that one should light at least one candle each night, the custom has developed to light one light the first, two the second, three the third, and so on and so fourth.  This is all to say that for the elites in the first century who practiced Hanukkah, they probably would not have lit the candles via today’s custom. (If it would be helpful, I’d be happy to make similar arguments about other Jewish holidays, customs, and modes of being Jewish!)

Ultimately friend, you are in the right here.  Your gut telling you that this celebration is wrong, is totally on point.  Thank you so much for bringing so much compassion to this really rather challenging issue. 

Anne Frank was baptized as a Mormon decades after her death. Her death BECAUSE she was Jewish.

Many, many Jews have complained about this and the “church’s” standpoint has always been “deal with it.”

They also do this to other oppressed minorities, like Native Americans, without the consent of the person at all. It’s sickening.

I really appreciate you both reaching out and helping me understand this issue. The truth is, I felt in my gut that what they’re doing is wrong, but I didn’t want to broach the argument without asking actual Jews first - because I am not, after all, Jewish, and don’t know much about the culture or religion. Thank you so much for the information and treating my lack of knowledge kindly. I’m going to attempt to broach the issue with my family, but things between myself and them are… tense, and I’m not sure they’ll respect this.

I’ve really appreciated this opportunity to learn, and I hope I might be able to get through to my dad and his family about this.

Thank you for modelling kindness and a yearning to learn about other human beings.  In the Jewish world, we would call you a true Tzadik.

@the-home-kvetch - thank you for your important input to this conversation here.

If you are not Jewish, please read this important conversation.  And if you have a chance, please read the notes. 

I hope that this conversation can inspire us all to learn about other faith traditions and to explore other cultures with the goal of making us better informed, more compassionate human beings.  As the Jewish sage Hillel would say, “If I am only for myself, what am I?”

l’shalom.

I’m asking this seriously and with only good intent. I’m a Scouter and part of what we try to teach our youth is respect for everyone’s beliefs. I’ve had discussions with imams to figure out how best to keep camp halal for a youth.

But I’ve always hesitated to bring in lessons on others’ faiths because I don’t want to overstep yet I also want to expose the kids to as many faiths as possible so that they grow up understanding and respecting.

Thank you so much for your really thoughtful question. I’m really digging this thread- it’s great that you’ve joined !

I think that it’s important to come at these conversations from perspective to help frame where an individual might stand on a particular issue. You mentioned that you are identify as an agnostic. Something that I’ve noticed about most folks who identify as agnostics (and not as “agnostic Muslims” or “agnostic Jews”) is that they are most likely former Christians or their form of agnosticism benefits from being a part of a majority system. I think that is an important frame here : because although many folks have the best intent in mind (and I have no doubt in my mind that you don’t have only the best intent based on this very thorough and thoughtful question), oftentimes they should not be appropriating Jewish ritual.

Your question brings up a lot of really good questions that I’d like to answer individually.

Q- Can a non-Jew teach others about Hanukkah?

A- absolutely. Please do. Especially children. But please make sure to not white wash it. Teach about the battle of Hanukkah. Teach about why the Maccabee’s were fighting the battle and the centrality if Jerusalem to Jewish tradition and history. Teach about the myth of the oil lasting 8 nights. Teach about miracles. Teach about the driedel and the Hanukiah (Hanukkah menorah). And don’t let the Jewish kids feel left out at a time when a Jew cannot look two feet without being reminded that they are a Jew living in a Christian culture.

Q- What is the best way for a non-Jew to teach about Hanukkah?

A- If you can, please check in with your local rabbi it cantor - or a Jewish parent - to see if they could teach the lesson. If you can’t, please go over your lesson with a Jewish Professional - clergy or otherwise - to make sure it is effective. (I am a student rabbi and would be more than happy to help you if need be!)

Q- Can a Hanukkah lesson be taught to a room of children who are not Jewish?

A- absolutely. All children should be introduced to the family traditions and religious traditions of their peers.

Q- Is it inappropriate for a non-Jewish child to create a Hanukkah craft such as a paper Hanukiah (Hanukkah menorah) or another craft?

A- Personally I don’t think so, unless this is a classroom of only non-Jews. I think if the Jewish children celebrate Christmas with their Christian peers, I don’t see why Christian children shouldn’t not celebrate Hanukkah with their Jewish peers! If the project/celebration involves a Hanukkah craft, I say go for it! But please make sure to *raise* the Jewish children up and ask them to help you teach the lessons: what do you do at home for Hanukkah? What’s your favorite part? What’s your favorite Hanukkah food? Etc

Q- Is it inappropriate to do a Hanukkah craft with a group of students who are totally not Jewish at all?

same goes for if you see anything promoting Mormonism or Scientology, although I haven’t seen materials for those things personally, I’m sure they exist

If you are invited to a Christian group that “doesn’t have a name”, something that holds meeting for outsiders in rec centers, “special meetings”- that’s a cult that is know to members only as “The Truth”, but is on Wikipedia as “two by twos”. Please reach out to me if you or anyone you love has been contacted by this group.

hi tumblr-the conservative party is back at it again. 

currently, the GRA (gender recognition act) says to transition “legally”, trans people have to: 

 get two diagnoses of gender dysphoria (including one from an NHS gender clinic, which have a 2-3 year wait time currently), 

prove you have lived as your chosen gender for 2 years, 

swear to live the remainder of your life as such

and  do all of this in front of a “gender recognition panel”, a process which is very humiliating and largely depends on people deciding if you are “trans enough”. 

in 2018, the idea was put on the table to progress the rights of transgender people in the UK. Including: 

 allowing them to self identify as their chosen gender (including 16 & 17 year olds, who have previously been denied the right to)

demedicalising the transition progress, no doctors would need to diagnose gender dysphoria to transition.

removing the cost to have your gender legally recognised

allow non-binary identities to be recognised

it has recently been leaked that the current government has scrapped these ideas [source  source]. Our equality minister, Liz Truss, is horribly transphobic and wishes to backpedal on the few rights we have. 

trans people have said for years that the GRA is outdated and in need of reform, and have had the tiny ray of hope that it may be changed ripped out from under us behind closed doors. 

petitions on the parliament website are legally obligated to be responded to at 10k signatures and have to be debated in parliament at 100k signatures. please note you have to click a confirmation link in your emails before your signature is counted!

only british residents can sign this, but if you are not from the uk, please boost it so your british followers can see! 

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/327108

Dog refuses to get out of bed then proceeds to fall asleep looking after baby

After quite a while, I finally managed to adapt these fun shark anatomy illustrations to Redbubble products! Many asked me to make posters or art prints available for sale and it is now possible in my little store! This is my store’s profile! ✨

I tried to adapt these arts to other products, but I think they were very ugly, so focus on looking for poster, art print or stickers options! I hope you like it and that the price offered by Redbubble is affordable! 

and this:

and one of the best ways you can do this, especially if you are not a fan of colour, is to boost the voices of people of colour who are speaking out against this. listen. learn. provide space and treat others with dignity. stop praising creators for being inclusive when they only give crumbs of diversity and fall short of true inclusivity and proper representation. use your platform to elevate voices of colour instead of drowning out the cries, even if your own cries are well intentioned

I’ve also noticed that conservatives constantly complain about “elites.” They propped up “Joe Six Pack” because they felt too many lawmakers were out of touch and they wanted people who understood the common folk. Blue collar workers are the heart and soul of America, right? 

Did you know that nearly half of congress is filled with lawyers? And the rest are mostly businessmen. What do lawyers know about my life? What do lawyers know about struggling to pay bills? What do lawyers know about what it’s like to hold a low wage job? How are they supposed to represent me and my needs?

Do you know why AOC worked as a bartender? Her father died and her mother’s jobs as a house cleaner and bus driver were not enough to fight foreclosure. So Alexandria put her career ambitions on hold and got a job as a bartender to help her mom. Conservatives are all about “family values” right? AOC valued her family so much that she worked a grueling job out of love for her mom. 

And you want to trivialize that?  

AOC knows my struggle more than Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump. I have confidence that AOC will represent me and my family’s needs more so than any lawyer or businessman who is just looking to enrich themselves. 

But he is also talking about other people of colour in the cast – Naomi Ackie and Kelly Marie Tran and even Oscar Isaac (“a brother from Guatemala”) – who he feels suffered the same treatment; he is acknowledging that some people will say he’s “crazy” or “making it up”, but the reordered character hierarchy of The Last Jedi was particularly hard to take.

“Like, you guys knew what to do with Daisy Ridley, you knew what to do with Adam Driver,” he says. “You knew what to do with these other people, but when it came to Kelly Marie Tran, when it came to John Boyega, you know fuck all. So what do you want me to say? What they want you to say is, ‘I enjoyed being a part of it. It was a great experience...’ Nah, nah, nah. I’ll take that deal when it’s a great experience. They gave all the nuance to Adam Driver, all the nuance to Daisy Ridley. Let’s be honest. Daisy knows this. Adam knows this. Everybody knows. I’m not exposing anything.”

but what he was SPECIFICALLY talking about that was unique to him and his being Black was the threats of boycotts just because he was Black and in the film: