Twitter and I were really on one today đđđ
Everything reminds me of Polin, and the 2 best intimacy *actors on the planet đ¤ˇââď¸
*acting, allegedly
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@ninapolastri
Twitter and I were really on one today đđđ
Everything reminds me of Polin, and the 2 best intimacy *actors on the planet đ¤ˇââď¸
*acting, allegedly

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Penelope Bridgerton â confused at the concept of having a husband that canât make you orgasm. Does not know what itâs like to have to fake it.
Colin Bridgerton â confused at the concept of having a wife and wanting to take a mistress. Might not even know what a mistress is.
Perfect couple.
âWhy donât you use aiâ idk man beyond the obvious environmental and âthis machine causes psychosis and encourages people to kill themselvesâ thing I think asking the equivalent of a solid D student who is also a pathological liar if they can answer my question/do the work for me seems pretty fucking stupid
actually hilarious that colin bridgerton returned to london absolutely determined to be in his slut era. he said if there is one thing i am it is a whore. and then one (1) kiss with penelope later he was like neverMIND i am a MARRIED MAN i am MONOGAMOUS life is about LIFELONG PARTNERSHIP ACTUALLY

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my headcanon of Johnlock kids... I can't explain it but i makes sense in my head
Rosie: Where are we going Dad?
John: umm⌠Disney World!
Sherlock ( who was just stabbed and probably bleeding out in the passengerâs seat ): Damn it I hate Disney worldâŚ
John: âŚ. Weâre going to a hospital Sherlock.
Sherlock: ⌠Can we go to Disney world instead? I was almost murdered in the last one.
( yâall this is a long one- but trust me itâs worth it lol )
5 y/o Rosie ( in a strangers car ): You said my dads where at the hospital?
Kidnapper: Oh, yeah-⌠he was in a car accident. They just wanted me to take you home.
Rosie: right⌠and um, which one is it?
Kidnapper: um⌠the.. tall one. Your other dad is staying with him.
Rosie: hm, ok!⌠so, you drive a mini-van.
Kidnapper: uh.. yes? So?
Rosie: but you have no kids?
Kidnapper: âŚ. No, I donât- how did you-
Rosie: hm and no ring⌠canât find a husband?
Kidnapper: Hey listen here you little-
Rosie: Itâs probably because your well past your prime. I suggest some surgery. Not even working out or a touch if make up will help you-
Kidnapper: HEY- you- this is not worth it- Iâm stopping the car- GET OUT!
Rosie: ⌠I know what youâre trying to do.
Kidnapper: ⌠what?
Rosie: We donât have a car to get into an accident with and my dad, the taller one, thinks hospitals are a waste of time. My OTHER dad is a doctor, so if he was hurt he would probably take care of it.
Kidnapper: ok well⌠what are you gonna do about it? Iâve still got you.
Rosie: ( slowly hold up something in her hand )
Kidnapper: ⌠you have a phone?
Rosie: No im too young for a phone, this is a pager.
Kidnapper: oh yeah? And who are you gonna page?
Rosie: my dads. About 45 seconds ago.
Kidnapper: âŚ
Rosie: judging by your complete lack of skills, you where not hired by any of my parents various enemies, therefore you do not know who they are. Iâve been sending them Street names so they know where we are. I say you have about ( checks her hello kitty watch ) 15 seconds until they get here.
Kidnapper: âŚ
Rosie: since we have some time, here are some critiques of your technique. First of all, actually do some research before you go into-
Kidnapper: youâre giving me advice? Shouldnât you want to prevent me from doing this again-
Rosie: oh well, one of my dads, Sherlock Holmes by the way, in case youâve heard of him, hasnât had a case in a week and heâs just about lost his mind. If you where to manage getting out of this alive, I was hoping Iâd have a case to give him, and I wanted you to make it interesting for him.
Kidnapper: ⌠thatâs⌠morbidly sweet.. I think?
Rosie: yeah, well, itâs kind of pointless now judging by the red dot on your head.
Kidnapper: Wha- ( turns around to see a laser pointed at their forehead ) ⌠Oh shit-
Rosie: ( checks her watch again ) 20 seconds, theyâre getting slow. By the way, my other dad, the shorter one, and the one that Iâd guess is pointing the snipper at you right now, is a retired military veteran from Afghanistan, with nearly perfect aim. He has killed about-
Kidnapper: I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE WAS A DOCTOR-
Rosie: He had bad days. Ok! Byeee-
Kidnapper: Wait- if you knew what I was doing, why did you stay in the car?!
Rosie: I was really hoping youâd be able to get my dads out of the house. Theyâve been driving me crazy. Sorry you where such a disappointment. Have fun in jail!
Irondad Prompt #173:
Peterâs search history: How to ask for a hug? How to ask for a hug from your mentor? Would it be weird to hug my mentor whoâs kinda sorta also my dad?
Tony:
Tony: Peter, is there something you want to ask me??
Pepper the Queen. I promise there's fluff and hugging LOL. Its towards the end so you can skip the plot and get to the fluff if you want.
Original post by @irondadmadlads ! Go check em out .
In Water Wrapped in a Blanket.
____
Pepper bit her lips, containing her snickers as she read what appeared on her StarkPad;
'How to ask for a hug from your mentor?'
FRIDAY alerted her of some concerning searches Peter was making, starting with: 'How to ask for a hug?'.
When FRIDAY had used 'concerning', Pepper's heart staggered in slight fear. Tony and Peter were alike, too alike at times, and she's seen what superhero-ing does to your mental health.
She was partially right.
'Would it be weird to hug my mentor whoâs kinda sorta also my dad?'
Peter and Tony are alike in that they're both emotionally constipated and she's going to...subtly interfere.
___ "Oh? The Great Tony Stark not reading a science or daddy issues book?" Pepper teased as she came out of the walk-in closet.
Tony grumbled, sliding off his reading glasses and shutting the book; 'Caring for (Adopted) Toddlers 101', "I'm researching,"
___ "Ugh, I need a break from all that business garble," Pepper had groaned in her office the other day.
FRIDAY's lilting Irish voice piqued up in amusement, "Boss, I thought you'd enjoy reading Boss Man's recent search history,"
"Oh?" Pepper's eyes glinted, taking a sip of her Mountain Dew.
"Boss Man has been 'researching' the following: 'How to ask for a hug?' 'How to give comforting hugs?' 'How to ask for a hug from your mentee?' 'Would it be weird to hug my mentee whoâs kinda sorta also my son?',"
Pepper choked on her Mt. Dew as she grabbed her chair's arm, trying to swallow despite grinning, "Wh- When was this?"
"After you fell asleep when you caught him reading his parenting books, Boss," FRIDAY sounded as if she were grinning too.
"Books? As in, plural amount of a book?" Pepper's brow raised, "He has a collection of these?" "Kindle versions, too,"
---
Pepper smirked; her favorite father-son duo will become official no matter what. This was just too easy of an opportunity. She'll get her own someday.
"That is not a comforting smirk, Pep. Is my cooking that bad?" Tony raised a brow at his wife, who had been quiet for a few minutes at the dinner table.
"Oh? no, it's terrible," She swiftly replied, picking up her spoon to start eating.
Tony rolled his eyes as he lightly smacked her hands away from the food, "You haven't even tried it, and we're still waiting for the kid. What's taking him so long?"
Pepper had to clench her other hand to keep herself from laughing out loud, she knew exactly what was taking Peter so long.
"FRI, let Peter know that we're still waiting for him," Tony instructed.
"Mini Boss said that he'll be right there," came FRIDAY's response a beat after.
"Tell him that I'm waiting for him," Pepper smugly said. Tony huffed out in offense, "How's that going to make a difference?"
The sound of the frantic running and a disheveled Peter was her response.
"Look who decided to show up," Tony sniffed as he crossed his arms, mildly ticked off that Pepper has more power regarding Peter, "His royal highness finally decided to leave his royal duties?"
Now...to seize the opportunity, "Hm, yeah. I'm kinda curios what you were doing, dearheart," Pepper smiled knowingly, joining her hands together as she looked directly at Peter.
Peter fumbled to make up an excuse on the spot, "Yeah, well- I, uhh, have this thing in physics that I dont really understand, so-"
Pepper held up her hand and Peter quietened; cheeks tinged as he sat down on the table, "I believe FRIDAY has the actual and believable answer, yeah?"
Peter's eyes widened as he snapped his head towards the ceiling, opening his mouth to retaliate. FRIDAY understood the assignment and began listing, "How to ask for a hug?' 'How to ask for a hug from your mentor?' 'Would it be weird to hug my mentor whoâs kinda sorta also my dad?',"
With each one read out, Peter shrunk into his seat wanting the world to open up and eat him whole. With an aching heart, Pepper slinked away into the shadows, her work done. She had no doubt in her mind that she'll find them hugging later.
Tony took in a sharp breath as he blinked, "Peter....is there something you want to ask me?"
--- Pepper smiled, May responding with lots of hearts emojis to the pictures Pepper sent her and a mutual 'about damn time!'.
Peter stared her down as he sat opposite of her in her office. Pepper expected this, of course. Leaning forward, her eyes crinkled in mirth, "Must be urgent for you to come during my work hours,"
Peter scoffed, "All your hours are working hours. Even when you're asleep, you're replying to your email telepathically or something,"
"I neither deny nor confirm that accusation,"
....
"...Why did you that?" "Oh? I do a lot of things, dearheart. Be specific,"
"Why'd you expose me like that to Dr. Stark?"
Leaning back, Pepper hummed, "You needed a hug from Tony. I knew you need a little push, or you'd never ask for it," She tilted her head, "You got your hugs, didn't you? So what's there more to discuss?"
Peter huffed as he scratched a cheek, turning the other hand in the air, "it's the principle of it, Ms. Potts! Why'd you even know what I'd been searching, huh? Sounds like invasion of privacy to me-,"
Pepper got up, walking around her desk to stand in front of Peter, who was gesticulating openly now, "-And where did you go when FRIDAY was exposing me? Did you plan to kill me with sheer embarrassment?-" Pepper sat down in the seat beside Peter as he continued to rant, "-Let me tell you, it was working up until Dr. Stark hugged me. I was going to combust, Ms. Potts, combust!"
He finished off by dramatically draping himself across the desk. Pepper shook her head in amusement, "FRIDAY, tell me again what Tony searched up the night after I caught him reading parenting books?"
Peter raised his head slightly, blinking in confusion.
"Boss Man had searched up 'How to ask for a hug?' 'How to give comforting hugs?' 'How to ask for a hug from your mentee?' 'Would it be weird to hug my mentee whoâs kinda sorta also my son?',"
"This was a day or so before your searches," Pepper chipped in, "Dearheart, you both wanted the same thing but were too emotionally constipated, I had to give a subtle push,"
"You call what you did a 'subtle push'?" Peter grumbled as he sat up properly, though his eyes were thoughtful, and he was smiling lightly. He opened up his phone as he began to type something.
"Yes, well, I knew it would all work out in the end," Pepper grinned back, watching Peter's actions.
Peter gulped then called out, "FRIDAY, can you read out loud what I just searched please?" Pepper's grin was replaced with confusion; wasn't he just raving about the invasion of his privacy?
"Sure, Mini Boss. 'How to ask your kinda mom for a hug?'"
Peter kept his eyes firmly on the ground, breath baited. Pepper took in a sharp breath. She knew to some extend Peter saw her as a Guardian, another caring figure in his life.
But for whatever reason, what he and Tony had, a child-parent bond, wasn't something she thought she would ever get. Besides, Peter had May as the female-parental figure.
But she yearned, anyways.
"Oh,"
---
Peter wasn't sure what to think, regretting what he did with every second passing. Then his worries were swept away as he was slowly pulled into a hug. One that started hesitant and easy to break from. As soon as he wrapped his arms around Pepper's torso, her arms tightened.
The hold felt acheful, wanting. Pepper had an arm around his waist, the other arm further up and cupping his shoulders. He was tucked in the crook of her neck.
Pepper's honey and strawberries scent was much stronger this close. Her heartbeat was faster than normal and the hug felt so warm.
Pepper could feel pieces of a puzzle click! into place as she held Peter in her arms. 'Mother-son officially,' her mind supplied.
Peter is definitely strong, his clothes masked how muscular he actually is. But his overall frame was still so much smaller than her's. She could just tuck him under her chin comfortably and curl her arms around him with ease.
It felt so right to have her dearheart within her hold. Peter had melted so quickly into her grasp; she doesn't think he's aware of how much of his weight he's let go. And God if that doesn't make her heart ache.
Neither one mentioned letting go.
---
Peter came barreling from the elevator, casting aside his backpack and rushing into Dr. Stark's waiting arms. He still couldn't believe they were on hugging-terms now! Each time left him exhilarated like it was the first.
Dr. Stark's hugs were all-encompassing and made him feel fully shielded. The hugs were always very warm and felt like being wrapped in a blanket. The tinge of motor oil and fancy deodorant always lingered.
Peter loved May's hugs too. They were tight and never long enough.
Ms. Potts' hugs were water around him, like the relief after holding your breath for a while. 'Dearheart', is what she calls him exclusively nowadays. Before, she often used his name more.
But Peter's favorite hugs was when it was from multiple at the same time. Speaking of which, he picked up on another heartbeat faintly, then Ms. Potts came through the elevator...
Ms. Potts' expression lit up. Despite looking worn out, she rushed over and joined their hug. Peter let out a content sigh, causing Dr. Stark's chest to rumble under his ear as he chuckled, and Ms. Potts' tighten her hold ever so slightly.
Peter knew that being in water wrapped in a blanket was an odd combo, but he loved every moment of it.
----
Im fully aware i turned an irondad prompt into an ironmom centric one. No, i have no regrets.
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the best fic I have ever read.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
it's fucking brilliant. it's perfect. it's got everything. parentlock, weddings, holidays, all our favorite side characters making their appearances. the references to the show were so detailed. I cried multiple times I had to get up and stop reading to scream into a pillow because it was so perfect. this is what happens post-canon in my head now.

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Hi hun, I saw you post earlier that Sherlock had apparently made sure his furniture was child-proofed for Rosie at the end of TFP. Can you show me some examples because everything in the flat looks the same to me with the exception of John's chair?
Sure Nonny!
So when the flat is apparently destroyed everything except their chairs and that rug and everything else, Sherlock replaces a lot of the âcorneredâ furniture with rounded furniture:
A. Thatâs not their original breakfast table and chairs. Theyâre now a rounded set with a little shelf under them.
B, C, and D. Same with the long table, the chair at the end of the couch, and the stack of magazines. The sitting room table is now a small rounded one, the chair now has fully padded arms, and the stack of magazines have been replaced with rounded dressers, which Sherlock probably now keeps his military porn stash the magazines:
(E) used to be a hard-edged metal table, and (F) used to be a shelf with a lot of breakables on it.
And (G) used to be a very wobbly-looking side table. Itâs been replaced with the sturdy one we see in TFP:
Plus, I believe the bookshelves are also less-cluttered as well, and those glass cases we see in the above image no longer have breakables in them
Sherlock literally changed the common area of the flat so he could be a better parent for Rosie.
Stab me.
Look, Iâm not a fan of parentlock in this arc, but good god this is EXACTLY how I imagined Sherlock as a parent. And if weâre going with the Johnâs TAB theory, this is exactly how John imagines Sherlock as a parent too.
@inevitably-johnlocked Nice one, Steph. I did notice some changes in the flat but wow I didnât see there were so many!
I like that reading, of Sherlock changing the flat to make it child-proof. Goes in tandem with what I thought about this change being a metaphor for John and Sherlock rebuilding their friendship from scratch into something new. The flat may apparently look the same at first glance, but itâs actually not. Just like the boysâ relationship, âit has all the qualities of the old, with some of the colour of the newââ the added element being their romance. Sherlock, John and Rosie are now a âfamily.â
Now of course, since weâre in Johnâs head, this not only works as actual foreshadowing, but gives us an insight into his hopes for the future. This is the life John wishes he could have.
YES MARCE, exactly. Itâs symbolic of their relationship âstarting freshâ. This is literally the only thing in TFP I will accept as actually happening.
toxicsemicolon added: djsksljfkd THE CORNERS ARWEL LITERALLY CUT IN TFP
keepklainingon added: Also:Â circles and spheres represent sentiment on the show!!
SCREAMS INTO THE ABYSS
Okay Iâve been out of hyperfixating over Sherlock for a while but this is a meta I havenât seen. I love that Iâm still seeing new ones