man, now i've been given the balls to send in an excerpt from a johnlock fic neglected in my gdocs (pressured myself too much, unfortunately). thanks to that one sender!
it's been months since i've written this, so the writing is no longer to my liking. it's undercooked, to say the least, so i apologize if it is absolutely horrendous.
Rosie hates cabs.
She hates it a lot. And by a lot she means as big as Big Ben, which is really a lot.
It does nothing but move! It's all it's made for. Most times, it's dizzying inside, because it's always moving. It's fast, but sometimes too fast, so Daddy and her almost fly. Daddy hates that a lot, too. Flying is very enjoyable, but only when Daddy and Sherlock drive the plane. (Daddy and Sherlock go very fast sometimes, and very high — she's seen the top of all of Baker Street from Sherlock's shoulder, it's the highest she's been! — but cabs don't even let her see beyond the window, yet they're still too fast.)
And that's the thing: it's so impatient. Whenever she and Daddy get inside after visiting Sherlock, it immediately moves. Being patient is very important, Daddy said, and cabs are the most impatient things.
They can never wait to take her and Daddy away from Sherlock.
Sometimes, the cab goes too fast that Sherlock is already a small line behind them when she looks back on the back window. She hates that, too.
She once told this to Daddy. She had told him, "Daddy, I hate cabs."
Daddy had been drinking his morning tea while reading the newspaper on his mobile. It had been a Sunday so Daddy got to stay home. Daddy always skipped to the bad news; he enjoyed it better than stories on why flowers should be on a certain angle so they could sprout. He would tap his fingers on the table, then look at his mobile, then mutter something like 'That's not even a 4'.
"And why is that, love? Bad dream?"
"Because they're too fast and they're impatient."
Daddy had chuckled. "They are, aren't they?"
Rosie hadn't been amused. "So why are we still getting in on them?"
"Because, sweetheart, you'd hate the tube even more."
"Will the tube take us away from Sherlock, too?"
Daddy looked a bit confused when she said that. "Nothing is taking us away from Sherlock, love."
"Yes, there is!" She had stomped her foot, and that's a bit not good, so she had said sorry before she continued. "Cabs! We get in them and then they take us away from Sherlock. Always!"
Daddy had opened his mouth, but then he had closed it. He must've had no idea what to say. It’d been alright. She hadn’t known how to tell him that cabs wouldn't have to take them away if he just didn't call them either.
"Why can't we stay with Sherlock instead?"
Daddy had smiled, but it’d been the smile that didn't crinkle his eyes. Daddy had been sad. "Because we can't, Ro. Don't you like our home?"
Rosie hadn’t wanted to make her Daddy sad any more, so she had kept it to herself that their house was more of a fridge. It made her Daddy frozen. When they're in Baker Street, his eyes always crinkled when he smiled. He smiled all the time. When they're at home, it only crinkled if he was with Rosie. Unfortunately, she wasn't always with him, so Rosie didn't know if her Daddy smiled at all when had neither her or Sherlock, or he just stayed still like ice.
aw, man! this could've been great!
First off, I am HONOURED you have ALSO taken time out of your day to share with me and all of us something from your drafts!!! I really am enjoying y'all just being random and wanting SOMETHING to come of some old work.
Secondly... "could've been great"???? NONNY!!!!! IT STILL CAN BE GREAT!!!!!!!!! You're SO SILLY!!!! Amazing work by all of our wonderful authors all started somewhere!!! They don't just pop out of people as masterpieces!! I personally think you have a GREAT base here to flesh out a short slice-of-life ficlet!!! This is really bittersweet and wholesome and I'd love to see where it can go!
Don't sell yourself short, Nonny! Seriously, I know we are all our own worst critics, but even Stephen King starts his stories with drafts and I'm sure he has "bad days" regarding his writing! All great stories have to start somewhere, and, as I said, I think you have the start of something pretty special here <3
I do honestly hope you go back to it and complete it or work on it, because, like the other one, it has a lot of potential. I AM honoured though, that y'all keep sending me these. If encouragement from the community is what's needed for you guys to press on further with these, then I am all the more happy to help <3
BIG HUGS Nonny, and thank you so much for sharing <3
