Mao

Have you ever loved somebody more than you love yourself?

I love everything about him. Even the things that I hate about him. Because that’s who he is. I am better when I’m with him.

His brown eyes that shines when the sunlight hits them. Your thick lashes that are longer than mine. The way you smell. The way you hug me and make me feel complete. Your embarrassing loud laugh. The way you hate see me cry even if its just because of a cheese movie. You make me laugh every chance you get. You always put me first.

Is like I want to ruin the only thing good and stable in my life...

I start to think about the smallest little things that “bothers” me and it didn’t bother me before. I didn’t even notice before. And it makes me angry that I am trying to sabotage myself...

Some days everything is fine, like I would die for you. And some days is like... I just wanna be on my own.

Trying to look foward but its so dark. You’re just trying to stay positive. Maybe someday you will know where to go or even where you’re going. Right now everything is far, impossible to touch, to feel... You wonder why, why... me?

As you float in space, you try to swim. You’re trying your best. Seems like you are going nowhere. There is no one to blame but yourself.

Then you see the stars. Shinning so bright, so beautiful. You can’t stop yourself from comparing them to you. They make it look so easy... Why can’t you shine like them?