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Da Red Gobbo
by Mizoro
Š recalibration
he was on TATOOINE you fucking loser
Obi-Wan can find an invisible planet hidden by a devious Sith Lord, Anakin canât find his ex-best friend on his own home planet while the guy is still using his own damn name.
I know we give Obi-wan a lot of shit for leaving Luke with his real surname but Anakin really is that stupid
the perfect hiding place: the sandiest fucking planet that anakin would never set foot on again
Iâd like to remind everyone again that itâs literally canon that Vader canât step foot on Tatooine because the desert gets into his creaky old man robot joints and makes his suit break down
aka the sand is coarse, rough, irritating, and gets everywhere
i d o n t l i k e s a n d
okay but what if everyone was like âvader, kenobiâs on tattooine. heâs obviously on tattooine. heâs been there for years. heâs just right fucking there, we all know it.â and vader is just desperately shaking down jedi like theyâre magic eight-balls and he wants a better fortune. like âno i donât like that try againâ.Â
kenobiâs just sitting there in his pile of sand like a smug fucking bastard. he doesnât need to hide jack shit. he went to the tattooine board of tourism and got them to print up flyers that say âCOME TO TATTOOINE, WE HAVE SANDâ and luke is probably going to be safe until his midlife fucking crisis at this rate.
palpatine finds vader aimlessly checking behind pieces of furniture in some shitty space motel on kamino
âheâs on tattooine,â palpatine says.Â
ânuh uh,â vader says, and peers under a couch.
peers under a couch
This is the best Star Wars post I have read in a while.

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Wait a minute, the three top-polling Democratic candidates for President are named Joe, Elizabeth, and Bernie. J.E.B... could it be???
important!
Desert Bus Tech Stream
Okay, so iâve been gone from Tumblr for a looooooooooong time, BUT ITâS TIME FOR DESERT BUS FOR HOPE 2019, MATES! The actual run begins tomorrow BUT the Tech Stream is live now and immediately after the tech check is done there will be a stream of the never-before-publically-aired DESERT BUS DOCUMENTARY So I encourage all of you to head over to twitch.tv/desertbus and join the Bussening.
I currently own 3 Tumblcoins, the future of meme currency.

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Bite him nose
ohhh i DEEPLY regret teaching my cat how to talk
Oh? Would you elaborate?
okay so one night like a week or two ago kurt was meowing at me and one of the meows sounded like he was saying âhewwoâ so since then I started saying âhewwoâ instead of meowing back at him (like I do with all his cat sounds, naturally) and slowly his meows evolved into something vaguely âhewwoâlike with the one or two True and Powerful Hewwoâs a day
but now that you have backstory I was just standing in my kitchen making rice, everythings dead silent, and suddenly this fucking âHEWWO??â echoes through the whole apartment and it almost killed me
J.R.R. Tolkienâs full name:
Jolkien Rolkien R. Tolkien
What does the second r stand for
Rolkientolekien
Itâs like watching a car repeatedly drive straight into a wall. Itâs unexplainable, it looks like it hurts a lot, but ultimately it ends up being darkly, ironically funny.
From my personal experience being an American on tumblr is like being the person in the BACK of the car praying that the person driving will STOP ramming into the wall. A lot of us know this shit is stupid and weâre looking out the window like âLOOK THOSE OTHER CARS ARE DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD LETS BE LIKE THEMâ But the driver is like âFUCK YOU! BUILT FORD TOUGH! USA USA USA DONT LIKE IT, GET OUT!â but the doors are locked and the car is now smoking and threatening to catch fire.
Reblogging for the followup comment! âcos thatâs exactly what itâs like.
who the fuck is in the driverâs seat

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Donald Trump has praised or promoted many of the right-wing figures who are now attacking / mocking survivors and spreading conspiracy theories about the Parkland school shooting. (And the attacks go on and on.)
tup: dogma, you can't just bottle everything up like that
dogma: i don't bottle things up
dogma: i've graduated to having an emotions cellar
dogma: good vintage. smells like regret