Chicken shenanigans
One day I'll stop exploiting this audio
that day is not today
@scientificallywrongsoap

â

Peter Solarz
sheepfilms

Love Begins
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
tumblr dot com
Sweet Seals For You, Always
YOU ARE THE REASON
d e v o n

izzy's playlists!
noise dept.
occasionally subtle
One Nice Bug Per Day

Kaledo Art
cherry valley forever

blake kathryn

oozey mess
DEAR READER
Claire Keane
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@ngirl64
Chicken shenanigans
One day I'll stop exploiting this audio
that day is not today
@scientificallywrongsoap

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Who remembers when I used to write?
Cuz uhhh yeah, I sure do lol. Working on a few stories, some more adulty than others, and some...well, just be ready to cry. I am so not sorry for the hurt I will be inflicting. But just know it's not a "hurt/no comfort" it's a "hurt/comfort" kind of story....that is...if I can bring myself to sit and write it lol.
Been working on a lot. Hereâs progress on a mod Iâm making for @scientificallywrongsoap
For those who are new here and for those returning, Iâve been working on new things for this blog. One such thing is actually posting here. So hereâs a post
Hey lil beans!
Glad you could find your way to my little Tumblr!
I haven't had one of these since... Goodness, 2015?
Hopefully my old fart brain can remember how to navigate!
I'll be slowly but surely adding my videos to this page over time (probably 10 or so each day so I don't flood y'all with notifications all at once) so that way if anything ever happens to my TT account y'all can still have a place to watch my shenanigans.
I hope that all of you are having a day as wonderful, beautiful, and absolutely fantastic as you are đ
Stay Safe đâ¨
Not me coming here after seeing your TikTok story.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Been a while since I last posted. But I have something I want to add to the humans are space orcs thing.
Insomnia. Like aliens already found out and observed humans sleeping, getting over the thought that they mightâve died, but one day they meet a human with insomnia. (Gonna use my own OCs for this smallish story)
Farâish had been around humans for a few centuries now, she had learned the ins and outs of how humans worked, healed, and slept. So it was a shock when she saw her human friend up and about nearly 2 cycles after the other humans had gone to bed. âHuman Gold! Do you not need sleep?â Gold turned to Farâish and smiled, âHey Fara(a nickname Gold had given her),â She opened her mouth, a yawn as other humans had explained, âNot tired darlin. Canât get no sleep.â Farâish looked worried for her friend, âHuman Gold certainly there is something you can do so that you complete your sleep cycle.â
Gold chuckled, âCanât do nothing till my meds get here. Been like this my whole life Fara.â Farâish was bewildered, she had observed Gold sleeping, she had stayed with Gold when she suffered from nightmares. How was it that Gold had been able to be awake like this her whole life? âWhat do you mean Human Gold?â Again Gold chuckled, âI have insomnia Fara. Diagnosed with it when I was ten.â
âIn-som-nia?â Farâish was confused, she racked each section of her memory processes to find mention of this insomnia. âYes, insomnia.â Gold shrugged, âIt means I sometimes will struggle to go to sleep or stay asleep.â
âBut you are needing 8 full cycles to recharge and heal! How are you functioning without?!â
âMy meds, one of them helps me sleep. Though,â Gold yawned again, âTalking has made me rather sleepy. Iâm gonna try anâ sleep. Donât worry too much Fara. Iâll be back to a normal sleep schedule when my meds get here.â
Want some omegaverse GhostSoap baby drama?
Ghost (alpha) dumps Soap before the omega could tell him he's pregnant. Soap was devastated from the break up, but couldn't get it over his heart to terminate. So, he decided to retire - effective immediately, without honours. The only person on base who knew was the dedicated omega doctor who could only cover for him so long before he couldn't hide it anymore.
He slips out in the night.
But he didn't realize someone was following...
Price had gone to his office at 2am looking for his favorite lighter when he found the letter under the door from Soap about his immediate resignation and retirement. He rushes out in time to catch Soap sneaking off base with just his bag.
He was suspicious that Soap had maybe crossed them, that he was deflecting. He overhears 'the airport' between Soap and the driver who just pulled in. In a mad rush he runs to his room to grab a backpack then set out to follow the man from a distance.
Soap had been distant for the past few months, increasingly so. His doctor had him booked off active duty, only allowing office work and recruit training but even then he was withdrawn. It didn't help his suspicions.
He follows Soap all the way to Scotland to a small town.
He watches from afar as a very nervous Soap knocks on the door of a cozy family home and is greeted in joy. An hour later he watches Soap fling the door open and leave again, screaming and cursing can be heard from inside. His face stained with tears, a red bruise on his cheek.
Had he gotten in trouble with an informant? Was his superiors not happy with his report or performance? He'll wait till he calls Laswell. He needs more Intel first.
He quickly sends Ghost a text that said 'till I'm back you're in charge'.
He follows as Soap takes the late train to the next town and checks into a small motel. Over the next few weeks he mostly stays in, sometimes visits the hospital. Is that where he meets his contacts? Is the motel a front? Slowly Price's suspicion turns to concern, and worry.
Then an ambulance is called to the motel. Price spots Soap being loaded in.
He can't fake the local accent to blend in so he stays outside the small-town hospital for a day and a half before Soap appears again...
... carrying a small bundle in his arms.
But something doesn't add up, something is off.
Soap seems devastated in a way that breaks Price's heart. He smiles through the tears at the little one in his arms as he slowly walks down the street into the night air.
A few blocks down he stops in front of the small orphanage next to the church. He places the warmly swaddled little one at the orphanage's steps, knocks and quickly leaves sobbing.
Before the door can even be answered, however, Price finds his body moving. He dashes out of his hiding spot and swoops the wee one into his arms, quickly walking away as he hears the door being answered to nothing and no one.
A block down, once he's sure it's safe, he peeks down at the curious little face.
And sees blue eyes like Soap...and pale skin and blond hair - like Simon.
It doesn't take much to deduce what happened. He had noticed Ghost had also been withdrawn and taking riskier solo missions since he and Soap stopped being each other's shadow suddenly. In fact, he'd been so busy trying to stop Ghost from getting himself killed or killing a recruit who happened to catch him on a bad day - that he'd not realised this probably had something to do with Soap's withdrawal too. Too busy and distracted to put two and two together.
They were both hurting. Soap clearly felt he couldn't take care of the wee one, but wanted it to have a chance. Even if it meant leaving the army.
As he walks he pulls out his phone to make a call. Laswell pulls some strings and files, and before he gets to the hotel the Captain's official records included that of his newborn son: 'John Simon Price'.
Till his boys are ready, he'll keep their little one safe and happy. Grandpa Price will make sure of it.
Part 2
Ghost gets a text from Price with his ETA and that he's bringing 'a special guest'. Ghost grits his teeth. He saw the letter from Soap in Price's office while he was doing both their jobs for the past month and a half.
Price is probably dragging Soap back by his collar. The damn fool omega.
In a place deep inside, however, he's afraid to admit to himself that he's hurting.
He never wanted to end things like this with Johnny. What they had was good, perfect. After growing up in a house where his alpha father used and abused his power over his omega mother due to their bond and instincts, Ghost had steered clear of any relationships with omegas. Nothing good can come off a relationship where pheromones and animalistic instincts trap you.
Then he met Soap. Their chemistry was instantaneous and undeniable. They had the same sense of humor, their strengths and weaknesses complemented each other, and hell, even their scents melted together in a beautiful way. His dark wood and gunpowder, to Soap's frost and forest flowers. They just... Fit.
It wasn't long till they gave in to the attraction they both (and everyone on base) knew was there. For over a year they shared meals, missions, beds, clothes, secrets, fears, and their bodies with each other. They spent almost every night in Simon's room, every day trailing after each other.
Till out of nowhere Soap started getting these almost drunken moments during sex, like he was being overwhelmed, and asked for Ghost to bite him. Ghost shot it down every time, warning him not to ask again after the third time.
Then Soap asked again, begged with tears in his eyes, that he needed Ghost - 'my alpha'.
That's when Ghost snapped. Fears old and new collided at once, choking him and setting his blood on fire. He violently shoved Soap off so rough the omega fell to the floor. He raged that his is it, if he can't fucking listen and get it into his thick head that Ghost doesn't want to fucking bite him - had no interest in being chained together for the rest of their lives - then to leave his room. He's not welcome here anymore.
Soap's eyes were clouded over with trembling fear and devastating heartache, before he silently got up, got dressed, and left without a sound or lifting his head.
That was the last time they spoke. Soap was booked off shortly after by the doc on base. Not even Price knew why. He would sometimes see him from afar, training rookies or walking to or from his office with stacks of paperwork.
As much as he still blamed their breakup on Soap not respecting his boundaries and wanting more than Ghost could give - seeing Soap look worse and worse by the week was getting to him.
So he threw himself into his own work, taking on harder and harder solo missions to keep his thoughts occupied.
So when Prices arrives he's ready to rip Soap a new one and then make the omega apologize, and then drag him back to his room to make up for all the nights Ghost laid awake aching in his need for Soap. Because it was true, he missed Johnny so much it hurt. He felt incomplete since his sunshine left.
But then Price gets off the heli with Nik and ... A baby.
"An old friend of mine had lost their partner and gone into labor. I went to help out but sadly, she died during childbirth. As the godfather, the babe now comes to me. Everyone, meet John S. Price. Call sign - Junior."
Big curious blue eyes that were so familiar Ghost lost his breath for a moment honed right in on his.
"Seems he already has a favourite", Price smiled as he walked over to Ghost. A twinkle of something warm and soft in his gaze. "Want to hold him?"
Ghost wants to refused, he's not good with kids, and the last time he picked up a kid was his nephew and that-
But before he could protest Price had already shifted the bundle into his steady arms. His hold naturally adapting to cradle and support little Junior on instinct.
He gazed down at those big beautiful blue eyes, the familiarity still so sharp a pain in his chest, but his little face, the tufts of golden hair... Something in Simon's world shifted.
"Hello little one," he cooed softly in a voice he didn't know he had. "I'm gonna be your favorite uncle. Uncle Si."
(more below the cut)
Part 3
(special thanks to Syn on Twitter for helping me out the plot hole!)
Ghost bursts through the hospital doors, unconscious Junior in his arms. "Help! Please, he-"
Bonus of a small town hospital is that there was a nurse and a doctor with him immediately.
not a dream
WHEN YOU GOOGLE EVER GIVEN, YOU GET A FLOATING BOATIE ON YOUR SCREEN
THE FACT THAT I HAD TO SCREEN RECORD THIS, CUT THE VIDEO, CROP IT ONLINE, DOWNLOAD AND UPLOAD IT TO EZGIF AND THEN TURN IT INTO A GIF TO PROVE IT'S TRUE BECAUSE I'M NOT ON MY OWN LAPTOP BECAUSE SOME OF YOU WERE IN DISBELIEF THAT IT IS REAL
OH MY GOD ITS REAL
OOOO IT'S ON MOBILE TOO
I uhh donât know how to feel about this XD
i hate pokemon
girl what
Thank you for providing the worst thing Iâve read in years. Itâs a gift actually
oh boy
bonk!
tooooooo cute

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Itâs World Sleep Day
Log off.
Go back to bed.
@staffâ why are you putting this message out at 10:04 am on a friday?
@staffâ this is weirder than flavortown.
Because itâs World Sleep Day! Not World Sleep Night. Please, everyone. Stop posting.
g̡ĚÍÍĚĄĚĚąo̸̽ÍĚŽĚĚŤ Ě´ÍĚŠĚĽbĚ´ĚÍ aĚ´ĚÍĚÍĚŤĚłc̾̽ĚĚÍĚŁk̡ÍĚĚ ĚśĚÍ̼̲̎ĚtĚśĚÍ̧̨̨Ío̸ÍĚĚŁÍ Ě¸Ě̞̼̟̚ÍbĚśĚÍÍĚĚ˛Í ĚŽeĚľĚÍĚĚĚdĚ´ĚĚžÍÍĚş
@staff MAKE ME!
I could watch this all day.
To people who are desperately asking for fundz/donations on tumblr.
USE THESE REDDIT SUBS INSTEAD PLEASE FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!!!!!!!
Hate Reddit if you want, but using these subs are your best chance. People gather in these subs because they have charity to spare:
/r/Assistance /r/legaladvice /r/RandomKindness /r/Charity /r/care /r/Random_Acts_Of_Pizza /r/Food_Pantry https://www.reddit.com/r/RandomActsOfPetFood/ https://www.reddit.com/r/RandomActsOfChristmas/ https://www.reddit.com/r/almosthomeless/ https://www.reddit.com/r/homeless
/r/freelance /r/povertyfinance /r/thrifty /r/borrow /r/gofundme
/r/depression /r/familysupport /r/transitionsÂ
I never see anyone actually getting any significant donations on tumblr and to be honest, tumblr is the worst place to ask for assistance. Use it as your last resort, it frustrates me to no end seeing people begging for help, reblogging the same post over and over, the same types of posts over and over, to no avail, when people are waiting to help you on a different part of the web GO TO WHERE THE HELP IS. IF YOU WANT DIRECT ACTION TO WORK STOP WITH TUMBLR AND USE REDDIT.
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF SATAN REBLOG THIS SO WE CAN START REDUCING THE AMOUNT OF DONATION POSTS THAT GET STUCK FLOATING AROUND THIS WEBSITE
why arenât these being reblogged more often? i rather see these than âkeys in handâ
Fatality
Umm so since Iâm stupid could someone kindly explain each step for me like step 3 am i head butting him in the face or the chest?Â
I think it depends on the height of the person, but I suppose the head is a more effective target. I hope this helps :)
Step 1: Step back the moment he reaches for you.
Step 2: Duck!
Step 3: Head butt him in the chin. Itâs very important that it is the chin and not the chest because it is much more uncomfortable and disorienting to have your teeth bang together especially if it cuts his tongue (which it will if it is in the way). More than likely height wonât matter. He will be leaning forward from the missed attempt at grabbing you.
Step 4: Knee him in the balls.
Step 5: When he doubles over, jab him on his back. I believe at the base of the neck just above the shoulder blades would be best. Iâm not an expert, but this seems like the best place, imo.
Step 6: Donât lose contact. Bring your other hand over and slam your hands against the sides of his heads as hard as possible. Right on the ears is the best place; it is extremely disorienting if done correctly. Then take his head and bring it down on your knee as you bring your knee up. Itâs very important that you avoid the nose because if you knee his nose it will definitely break and more than likely the bones will stab his brain killing him, so aim for his mouth instead.
Step 7: Keep your knee up and bring your foot out to kick him over. Personally, I donât like the image because it looks like she kicked him with her toes. You do not want to do that. Instead kick him with the ball or heel of your foot and put power behind it with a push.
Step 8: He is on the ground. You could probably stop here and he would get the picture, but if you really want toâŚYour leg is still in the air from the kick. With all your force slam the edge of your your heel on his side. It will be more effective if you lower your body first by bending at the knee of the leg your weight is on. Done right, you can break a rib or two.
reblogging again for that^
Reblogging for the steps in the image and the explanation in the comments. I donât so much like the explanation on the image proper, but I appreciate the thought behind it (here, have a self-defense thing, it could save you) and so Iâm passing it on.
yes
nice
USEFUL!
Iâm sorry but thereâs one important step missing here, I was gonna put this in the tags but thought it might be more likely to help someone on here.
Once youâve done all this, donât just stand there, RUN.
If youâre doing all this for the first time based off a vague memory of this post, chances are youâre not gonna nail all of it, so once theyâre on the ground get the fuck out of there. Donât stand around for them to recover.
For all those people who follow me that need this
Creative & DIY
SO THATâS HOW THEY FUCKING DO IT
yeah, Iâm gonna need these tutorials at some point

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- @jistring
PUT YOUR HAND IN THAT CRACK
AND YOU WONT GET IT BACK
WHEEEEN THE JAWS OPEN WIDE
AND THEREâS MORE JAWS INSIDE
WHEN IT SWIMS ON A REEF
AND HAS TWO SETS OF TEETH
WHEN IT JUMPS FROM THE MUCK
AND YOU SCREAMÂ âWHAT THE FUCK!?â
I. I didnât know I needed this.
Okay I hate retail but shoutout to my boss for not being a giant dick which includes:
⢠taking us all out for dinner and drinks tonight to thank us for dealing with the first week of December rush
⢠a guy sexually harassed me at work and I laughed it off but the boss had him banned from the entire mall premises
⢠heâs kicked people out permanently for yelling at me and coworkers
⢠i have a driving lesson in the middle of a shift next week and heâs coming in on his day off to cover it for me
⢠he buys us coffee from the local cafe every morning bc âhow the fuck could we survive customers without itâ
like thanks for making retail slightly less shitty bro
⢠has started hostile warfare with the shop across from us because theyâre homophobic to the sweetest barista there who came out as lesbian, so he lets her hang out with us on all her breaks and also hung up pride flags in direct view of them and overall does his best to undermine them in any way possible
your boss sounds awesome
his name is Luigi which makes this 100% funnier
Reblog if you want to call Luigi