Just a nerd

Simon softens as the chaotic little bundle of teethy smiles, swinging limbs, and wild blonde hair came barrelling towards him, nearly bowling over the other kids.

Its been almost five years since Johnny left. After he left and Junior came into their lives, the anger and resentment he had for Soap, for causing their breakup, slowly melted into just bittersweet longing for 'could-have-been's. Ghost was changing too, for the better he thinks.

Ghost had not moved on. Didn't even try to, and had no desire either. He would never find another omega as perfect for him as Johnny, and - he has Junior now.

Little John Simon Price. Price admitted Ghost was the reason for his second name when he saw the golden curls. Even though the babe wasn't his, that Junior had his name meant more than he could express.

As Junior got older and needed more care than just diaper changes, feeding, and the occasional bouncing around the room - Price brought up the idea of sending the child to his sister to raise.

Ghost was on his feet in a heartbeat, furiously shooting down the idea of Junior being sent away to be raised by someone else. After all, over the past 6 months he was the one who slept in the makeshift nursery with Junior every night, who rushed back from a mission where a kind elderly omega cook, who doubled as Junior's nanny, would already have him ready for Ghost to scoop up for a snuggle.

He couldn't explain it, maybe it came from the deep and long buried part of his soul - of Simon Riley's soul - who longed for family, the kind alpha who wanted to protect and care. Maybe it was the way Junior was completely attached to Simon, more than to Price for which he felt a little guilty but the captain weirdly just laughed it off.

Where Johnny had been his reason for getting up in the morning, for taking care of himself and getting home safe, for feeling human and good - now his world revolved around Junior.

"I understand what you're saying, Price," Ghost grit, his voice unsteady but hard. "A military base is no place to raise a child and you're needed - but, please, don't send him away like that! Maybe a permanent nanny? Or I can take less mission?"

Price gave him a soft long look. "Simon... How would you like to become Junior's guardian?"

The rest is history. Some paperwork later and he was officially a retired veteran and SAS reserve. Laswell said she had a safehouse in Scotland that served no purpose anymore for them to use, she and Price both firmly arguing a flat in Manchester is no place to raise little Junior.

A small town near Stirling, Scotland, Simon Riley stands waiting outside the kindergarten for his firecracker. He's comfortable in his jeans, sweater, and black medical mask. The other parents had gotten used to him, and no one, not even the kids, were afraid of or avoided him. It was a life he never thought he could have.

One foot got stuck on something and all that momentum slammed into the ground, the too big backpack for his little body whacking him behind the head. All the other parents and kids froze and gasped, but Ghost just smiled and waited.

"Junior, you solid?"

"'m 'kay!" The heap declares, before wrestling himself back onto his feet. "Solid, uncle Si!"

Simon stepped forward and scooped him up onto his hip.

"Copy that," he smiles at the little boy giggling in delight as they start to walk towards the car. "For tonight- Dinner for good, clean boys is burgers. Dinner for naughty, dirty boys is fish heads."

Junior pulled at face and Ghost laughed.

Ghost... Simon Riley... SAS lieutenant and specialist with a damn near mythical record... Is chasing a giggling, squealing little pup around the house who just got out of his bath and didn't feel like clothes were necessary. He felt like his whole life had prepared him for these little adventures and skirmishes.

Sometimes his bright laugh and defiant cheeky spirit reminded him of Soap in moments of weakness. But he quickly shut those thoughts down.

(Only to break open his heart to those hidden parts on dark nights when he felt weak and scared, where he would wonder where Johnny was - if he was safe, if he was happy, if he found someone who loved him as he deserved. Then he would curse himself for not bonding with his perfect omega when he had the chance, falling asleep with wet lashes to fantasies of Soap and Junior at the breakfast table waiting for him)

He rounded the corner, having wrestled the wild pup into various pieces of clothing everytime he caught him. He just had a shirt and a right sock left.

Then he heard a crash and his baby boy screaming.

"What happened?" The doctor asks as he guides Ghost to put the boy down on this hospital bed...

...like it wasn't terrifying for him, like it was easy to let go of this his baby - he doesn't care anymore that it's someone else's flesh and blood, or that legally his father his Price - little John Simon Price was a part of his heart and soul and the idea that he had failed his pup somehow...

"Sir?"

"I didn't see it happen, just heard a crash and screams. He was running, and seemed to have slipped and fell against the window shattering it. I was a few steps behind, found him with broken glass and cuts..."

The doctor frowned a little, but focused on carefully parting Junior's blood stained curls to assess the damage. He and the nurse work in wordless tandem to pick out the remaining glass shards from his hair, the nurse cleaning around the wounds while the doctor starts to compress the most urgent ones.

"Do you have your son's medical records? Kids bounce back fast, but he's losing a lot of blood - might need a bag."

Ghost hands behind to tremble. "I'm not...I'm a guardian. Appointed by his adopted father."

The doctor looks up at him, really looks at him and Ghost knows what he sees. Huge, scary, scarred, imposing, dangerous.

"Do you...have any proof of that on you, right now?"

"No, it's back home."

"And his father?"

"He's unreachable right now, he's a captain in the army, he's away on a job right now."

He doesn't miss the look the nurse and doctor shared. Doesn't miss the way she glances at the phone at reception.

"I'M NOT LYING!" Ghost bursts out, his hands and voice trembling. He fists his own hair, a blood streak across his chest and cheek where he'd had Junior pressed close, now brushed into his hair. He was teetering on a panic attack. He hasn't had those in...over a decade. But just the thought that they might not believe him, that they might send him away, might... Might...

"-ir? Sir! I need you to breathe!"

"He's mine, I swear, his kindergarten is Little Bean Burrow, you can call them and ask, they have copies! His father is Captain John Price, his favorite food is carrot sticks, his first word was bubble, I promise, please!"

Years ago, Ghost would've threatened, intimidated, and refuse to be moved. Simon begged. He should be ashamed, but this wasn't about him, his life hasn't been about him for since he met Junior.

"Okay, we believe you, please calm down." The nurse spoke kindly, her hands hovering. Her gaze softened, she must've seen what she needed.

"We're a small clinic, we don't have any blood stored on site. Do you know if you're match?"

"I don't know, you can test, right?" Ghost was already rolling up his sleeve.

The doctor nodded to the nurse who sat him down and jumped into action.

Two hours and 14 stitches later, Ghost sat next to the little bed smiling softly at his loopey, giggling pup laughing at Paw Patrol on the tv, still coming off the pain meds.

Little bodies lose a lot of blood fast, but luckily with Ghost speeding like a lunatic to the clinic, and the quick work of the doctor they had it under control pretty fast. Ghost was a match and a bag was quickly prepared and transferred.

He had tried to call Price and Laswell, but neither were reachable - as he suspected. It was times like this that he really wished he had a partner, someone to lean on, to share in the good and the bad and the scary.

(Knowing he would never want anyone else than Johnny, no one else would ever make him feel whole the day Johnny did)

The doctor came in, frowning at a report in his hand. "Mister Riley? Could we speak?" He indicated to the corridor with his head. Ghost thought it was weird but followed, a quick glance back showed Junior was still happily high as a kite and entirely fixated on the tv.

"Mister Riley... You said that you're the child's guardian, and the legal parent adopted the boy after the mother died in childbirth. Correct?"

Ghost furrowed his brows. "That is correct."

The doctor pursed his lips at the report. "Then... I don't know what to make of this. The blood test we ran to check your compatibility? Well... Turns out you're very compatible. Extremely so. In fact..."

The doctor looked up at Ghost over the rim of this thick glasses. "These results suggest you're the child's biology parent, Mister Riley."

Ghost felt his world implode.

"PRICE! WHERE IS HE!?" Ghost demanded as he marched right past the guards onto the base, right through the entrance without a care for rules and procedures.

- - -

A (probably well meaning) soldier tried to block his path but even with a child on his hip the old 'Ghost' made an appearance and with a glare alone the man paled and backed off. Junior, knowing he was always safe with 'uncle Si', didn't even bat an eye at the yelling, just curiously looking around from his high perch.

He marched himself right to Price's office and threw the door open, interrupting their debrief from the mission they just returned from.

Seeing the dark fury rolling off Ghost, Price and Laswell's objections seemed to die on their tongues.

"You're excused, well continue this later," Price said to faces around the room Ghost didn't even bother to look at.

The moment the last one left and the door closed, Ghost yanked the report from his pocket and threw it on the table.

"You want to explain to me why two blood tests have found that Junior IS MY BIOLOGICAL SON!?"

"Oh boy," Laswell muttered under her breath and Price averted his eyes.

Ghost stood firm, glaring, demanding an answer.

Finally Price sighed and fell into his chair. "Sit down, Simon. This is gonna take a moment."

Laswell takes Junior so Price and Ghost can talk, but Ghost insists they stay in the room 'where I can see him!'. She grumbles but, she understands why his trust in them is fragile. She digs in her bag for something to occupy the bouncy bean with. It ends up being a couple of markers, old reports, and a medal she forgot she had in there.

Once he's sure Junior is settled, he finally gives Price his full attention with a 'go on then' motion.

He listens as Price tells him why he really left the base that night, how he followed Soap home, how he watched Soap being rejected by his family, lived and gave birth alone, and how he broke down when he left the baby at the orphanage.

"...then..."

The more Ghost listens, the more it feels like everything he's known and thought was wrong. He followed, but he couldn't keep up.

Ghost turns to look at Junior happily scribbling away, sees the twinkle in those familiar blue eyes, the way his tongue always pokes out a little when he draws just like Johnny's, the shape of his smile just as familiar... His pale skin and blond curls...

"He's yours. Junior, he's your and Soap's boy."

"How did I never notice..."

"Because you were trying too hard to forget him," Laswell answered his rhetorical question. She glares at Price. "And your Captain is a scheming menace."

"You boys needed time, to have forced it then would've done more harm than good."

Maybe he was right. Ghost was angry, Soap was broken...

"Where is he now?"

Price pulls up his laptop and clicks away a few times. "Village called Glencoe in Scotland, works as a ranger and rescue in the national park." He clicks again and a page prints. "Here's his address and schedule."

Ghost stared down at the page. It's a clear surveillance report. Price had, in his own way, been trying to keep an eye on their family.

"Go get get your man, Simon."

The train ride across England and Scotland was a blur. In their little private compartment, Junior was happy to entertain himself with the new colouring set 'gampa Price' got him, and Simon was once again so thankful he was an easy child because he was barely holding it together.

The past five years keep replaying over and over in his mind.

From Soap's weird behaviour (pregnancy hormones and the insecure impulses of an unmated pregnant omega), Soap's withdrawal (because he was scared and alone) to every little moment Junior did something that reminded him of Johnny, or that made him see himself in his boy. How their pup seemed to accept Ghost was his dad from the start, reaching for him the moment he saw him, always calm and happy in Simon's arms...

And Johnny...

He couldn't even imagine the pain Johnny must've been in...

...all because he made his omega feel unwanted.

That realization hits him like a punch to the gut, he hunches forward and can't fight the tears that turn into chest rattling sobs. Junior, little Johnny, their sweet perfect pup, just gently pets his hair and tells him "its okay, it's okay uncle Si, I'm here", mirroring what he usually said if Junior was upset. Simon laughs through the tears and snuggles his boy into his lap.

"Bean, you know how you call me uncle Si?" Simon smiles wetly.

Junior nods and tries to wipe away Simon's tears with his little chubby hands. "Uh- huh."

"How would you feel if I asked you to call me dad, instead?"

Junior's eyes go wide, a look of wonder and excitement that Ghost now completely recognizes. "Really? I can? You'll be my dad?"

Simon wraps his big hands gently around his perfect little bean's head and kisses his forehead. "I am your dad, love. Always have been."

Ghost wonders if he's ever been this nervous. Not since Mexico...

According to Soap's schedule, he should be leaving from his shifts at the tourist information centre any time now. It's a miserable, rainy day but he can't exactly leave Junior in the hotel room, so they're both sitting in front of a little cafe under a canopy. Ghost scanning the shops and parked cars for a mohawk and blue eyes while Junior is losing himself in Nutella pancakes.

"Oops," Junior mutters and Ghost looks to see a big dollop of cream and Nutella on Junior's new green sweater. Worried blue eyes peer up at him. "'m sorry, I didn't mean to, dad."

Ghost smiles softly. "That's okay love, we'll clean it off."

He's so distracted with the extra tissues the elderly lady at the table text to them gave him to help clean up that the voice catches him off guard.

"... Simon?"

Ghost's head whips up at the sound, his favourite voice to hear his name in.

"Johnny."

"Johnny, I-"

It's Soap, his Johnny. Eyes just as blue, voice still his favorite sound. But standing in the rain he looks... Smaller, thinner, his hair is grown out and his shoulders are hunched where they were always proud.

He sees Johnny's eyes flick between him and Junior, his expression crumbling.

"I... I need to go." Soap takes off.

Simon shoots up to follow but then looks at Junior. The old lady smiles, her eyes knowing. "Go get him. I'll watch over the little one. I have no where to be."

He doesn't know why, but he trusts her.

"Johnny, wait! Please!"

He rushes off after Soap, calling out to him.

It's a good thing Junior kept him on his toes because Soap tries to lose him a few times through cars and shops, but Simon spots the car he's aiming for and sneaks up on it from the side. The moment Soap unlocks the door and jumps in, so does Simon - dropping into the passager seat just as Soap locks the doors.

Soap drops his head on the steering wheel for a few deep breaths, before a defeated weight falls from his shoulders. He turns and Ghost is left speechless at how devastated Soap looks, his bright eyes brimming with tears.

"What do you want, Simon? Why are you here?"

"I- I came here looking for you."

Soap looks away, trembling like he's trying to get himself under control. "Why. You made your feelings about me quite clear. Told me clear as day you didn't want an omega, never would. But now it seems you just didn't want me, seeing as you found yourself one you liked enough to have a family with."

Ghost carefully reaches out, hating seeing Johnny hurt like this, but Soap just smacked his hand away.

"No! You don't get to pretend you care! Getting over you, leaving... It was the hardest thing I've ever done. Ive spent the past years desperately keeping myself from falling apart every time you came to mind. And I was getting better. Can't you... Can't you see how cruel you're being, Si?"

At how Johnny's voice broke on his nickname, Ghost gave in to the wailing alpha in him. He firmly wrapped both his arm around Soap, crushing him to his chest, as he pressed his face into Soap's neck. Deeply inhaling Soap's scent, even tinged with bitter heartache and fear, settled a raw part of Simon's soul. He focused on using his own scent to soothe and comfort Johnny.

It seemed to work as Soap stopped thrashing but let himself be held, melting into his embrace.

"There's no one else, Johnny. How could there be? It's always only been you. I'm sorry, I'm so so fucking sorry - please believe me. I would give anything to go back and undo what I said and did. But I'm here now. I'm here for you. And...there's someone I want you to meet."

It took a few minutes of just holding Johnny, murmuring soft apologies and comfort into his hair, using his scent to convey his care and love. Eventually his omega settled enough to listen. He agreed to follow Simon and hear him out.

As they approached the cafe again, his darling boy waved and called out to them "Dad! I made a bunny! Come look!"

At dad he saw Soap flinch, but a steady hand on his lower back kept them moving till they were at the table. Simon pulled out a chair for Soap as he thanked the old lady who waited with Junior.

"I'll be right back, going to get you a coffee." Simon said with a small smile.

Before Soap could protest he was alone, sitting across the little table from the boy. The boy looked a little uncertain, and Soap cursed himself - no reason to make a child uncomfortable or scared because of his own hurts.

He tries to smile at the boy. "Is that the bunny you made?"

Big blue eyes stay fixed on his, curious and mesmerized, but he nods and pushes his plate towards Soap. Using what looks like leftover pancake and banana bits, there was an arrangement that did actually look like a bunny.

Soap's eyebrows raised. "Wow, that's pretty good!" His is real this time.

The little boy blushes and fiddles with a napkin between his sticky fingers. "Thank you."

"Did your... Dad, teach you that?"

The boy shakes his head, wild blond curls bouncing. "No, dad can't even draw a dog. He's really bad. It looked like an ugly car." The boy says with a sigh.

Soap relaxes and leans forward, closer to the boy. The mental image of Simon trying to draw a dog and it's so terrible a little kid is embarrassed for him warms his heart. "Then where did you learn to be so good, wee lad?"

Big blue eyes flick down then back up a little nervously. "Dad said... My mom is really good with drawing and art stuff."

It should hurt, or.. something. But Soap's mind is a blank, his heart should ache but it's warm and steady in a way that should scare him but just...doesn't.

"That so?" He asks softly, the little boy staring up at Soap in wonder and curiosity.

"Uh huh. Dad said I got my art and my eyes from my mom."

For a moment there's silence. All Soap hears is the rain.

"Lad... What did you say your name was?"

"I'm John Simon. I'm called Junior, gram-pa price says there's too many Johns."

Soap starts shaking, his breathing unsteady... It can't be. He thinks about the date he has inked over his heart.

"Junior, when is your birthday?"

Simon watches from inside the quiet cafe as it dawns on Soap. He could've just told him, but it was important that Junior - their perfect, beautiful, smart little pup - be the one to talk to Johnny first. So he gave them their space for a moment, letting them introduce themselves without him there.

Johnny falls to his knees, his arms open and Junior runs to him. Cats out the bag it seems.

His lip trembles as he joins them outside, a tray of hot chocolates on the table before he joins them on the floor to wrap his big arms around his omega and their perfect little boy.

He wraps his arms around his family, hearts Johnny's bright laughter and happy tears, hearts the twinkling of Junior's giggles, inhales the sweet scent of happy safe omega.

Simon feels happy, whole. For the first time in his entire life, Simon Riley feels whole.