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I think I am officially Fandom Old. I am so worn out from the arguments on who's the top or the bottom (who cares), what is allowed to be written (anything you want, bejeebus), what is Problematic (I know, just tag it), what other people Should Do (they Should live their lives free of judgment). There isn't a Right Way to do things. Tag your stuff appropriately, don't read stuff you don't want to read, and leave other people (me) alone.
There is nothing quite like the freedom of having gone through all of the Discourse and come out the other side into the promised land of Not Giving A Fuck.
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This is a friends-with-benefits fic featuring aromantic Din reconnecting in more ways than one with an old friend.
This is not a romance, but rest assured, fluff will abound. These two have a deep-seated platonic love that goes way back and will supersede anything that’s happening in their physical relationship.
Warnings listed by chapter may include sexual content, profane language, and references to death of a spouse and grief.
Not even six months ago, Din had believed that solitude suited him.
Yet now he sat at his childhood friend's kitchen table, surrounded by lively conversation and clinking utensils, enveloped in the persistent warmth of both past and present connection…
And he couldn't imagine being anywhere else.
Summary: Jax misunderstands the situation and meets his childhood hero. Din regains something he lost a long time ago.
Note: Anyone catch the queer-coding of Taro in the last two chapters? Let me know if you did! We'll never know his identity in his own words, but Zel was obviously picking up on something about his experience that was different from her own. There were hints at bisexuality, polyamory, and asexuality spectrum.
We'll be introduced to a new queer character in this final installment!
Warnings: Sexual references, non-explicit sexual content (mild), misunderstandings.
Read on AO3
________________________________________
In the following months, Din and Zel's relationship was transformed, and that heady tension of anticipation now diffused, Grogu mostly left them to it without interference.
That first time, gentle and vanilla, had led the way for more adventurous rendezvous in their limited time alone together.
And now… it was likely that no surface in either of their respective homes was safe. Many, many varied sexual activities had taken place anywhere and everywhere, from the kitchen counters to the fresher wall, and in so many manners and experimental positions that both almost felt young again.
This new arrangement wasn't just about sex, though.
Most of their time when Din was planetside was still spent in familiar, friendly companionship - chatting over a meal with Grogu in attendance or taking a weekend walk together in the market, the child toddling along beside them.
But those rare moments of adult solitude in between…
They took full advantage, satisfied with whatever benefits they could enjoy on the side of this kindred friendship.
And despite Karga's assumptions (and persistent teasing), there was no romance here - no love notes by holo while Din was away, no gifts or tokens of affection, no extravagant words of love…
Just the steady affection of lifelong friends reconnecting in more ways than one.
________________________________________
"Happy name day," Din said as casually as he did most things, dropping into one of Zel's kitchen chairs for their morning chat and reaching into his pouch. "I've got something for you."
Zel grinned and tilted her head in surprise.
"You didn't have to do that…"
"Don't get too excited," Din chuckled lightly, pulling the item free.
She laughed openly as he placed it on the table. It was a new dead bolt for her back door. He'd noticed it was broken a few days earlier.
"I have a vested interest in your safety," he said warmly. "Just a lucky coincidence that today's your name day. I'll show you how to install it before I leave."
Din knew very well that Zel didn't need some male savior. Her greatest desire in this chapter of widowed life was to know how to take care of herself independently, and that was the best gift he could give today.
To be honest, though, dead bolt or not, Zel could easily defend herself with nothing but her own hands. Mandalorian upbringing dies hard.
"Thank you, Din," she replied with great affection. "I appreciate it."
She just looked at him for a few long moments then, pursing her lips as if in thought. Finally, she spoke again rather bluntly.
"Are you in the mood for a quickie?"
Well, he could get into the mood any time, but she really didn't need to thank him that way for a kriffing dead bolt.
"Zel…"
"It's what I want for my name day" she said in a mock flirtatious tone, eyebrows raised. "If you have time…"
In that case.. by the Maker, he would make time. It was for her name day, after all.
"What did you have in mind?"
She smiled broadly, eyes twinkling with delight, before abruptly standing and pulling him up by the hand.
"Bedroom."
________________________________________
Soon Din's mouth was on her neck, deft hands moving to the buttons of her pants while she worked on his flight suit.
This was a fantastic way to start the day.
Long fingers had just snaked their way into her underthings when a gasp startled them both out of the moment.
They tore away from each other in surprise, Din's hand fishing for the blaster he'd unfortunately discarded a few moments earlier as he turned toward the source of interruption.
Dank farrik.
There stood Jax, face enflamed with some kind of fury, a young man who must be his fiance cowering in shock behind him.
Meanwhile, Din appeared stunned - probably thinking he'd come face-to-face with Taro's ghost. Jax bore a striking resemblance to his father.
Zel took a few steps toward him, addressing him soothingly.
"Jax, sweetheart…"
But Jax's attention was fully focused on Din, a nearly murderous expression on his face the likes of which she'd never imagined possible on her affable and gentle child.
"Get away from her," he growled, turning toward his mother. "What is he doing here? Don't you know who he is?"
"Jax…" she addressed him warningly, bewildered, placing a placating hand on his chest.
"He is notorious, Ma! He's dangerous!" Jax uttered emphatically. "I've read all about his escapades in the news comms…"
"Zel…" Din cut in, not the least bit insulted, aiming to diffuse the situation and simply leave to avoid further angering the young man.
But instead Jax turned toward him again, shock clear in his facial expression.
"How do you know her real name?" he asked lowly. "Is she a mark?"
This whole misunderstanding was so ridiculous that Din almost wanted to laugh, but that was certainly not to going to help in this moment as Jax reached for his back pocket where most certainly a blaster was held.
Of course Zel and Taro had trained him in weaponry.
Din raised his hands in the air in a show of surrender.
"Hey, I'm not going to hurt you, kid," he warned. "But you must realize that I could have you disarmed before your finger even hits the trigger…"
Well, that was certainly the truth.
Jax relented, arm falling back to his side, but the furious demeanor remained, eyes like daggers.
"I'll leave," Din spoke again, keeping his movements slow and intentional as he re-holstered his blaster and grabbed his chestplate and helmet.
"No, you can stay," Zel said insistently, gripping his forearm. "We'll explain…"
Din shook his head.
"I'm not going to come between you and your son," he replied. "He's more important."
And with that, Din brushed past Jax and the other frightened young man and did as promised.
Zel turned toward her son in no small amount of frustration, hands on her hips.
"What have you done?"
Jax was unfazed, shaking his head in disbelief.
"I have no problem with you having a sex buddy, Mama," Jax said sarcastically. "But you deserve a lot better than him. He's deceiving you."
"That wasn't just some Mandalorian bounty hunter, Jax…"
"Okay…" he replied with an exaggerated shrug, juvenile derisiveness breaking through his normally level and mature countenance. "Then enlighten me…"
"That, my love… was Din. I think it's time you knew the entire story."
________________________________________
Din spent much of the midday hours after picking Grogu up from school restlessly pacing his cabin, lost in thought.
He'd been looking forward to meeting Jax… in a few weeks (and preferably fully clothed), when the young man was meant to visit Nevarro to introduce his fiance.
Evidently, Zel had been purposefully misled about the timeframe to maintain a name day surprise. Din really couldn't fault anyone for that unfortunate timing.
But he hoped a reconciliation with Jax was still possible - and that these events would not fracture his friendship with Zel.
A rap at the door startled him out of the rumination.
Well, speak of the devil.
On the other side stood a contrite-appearing Jax, shoulders drooped slightly in some combination of shame and defeat.
Din unlatched the door warily, mildly concerned about the kid's state of mind, but he knew a fresh encounter was the only route to a repaired relationship.
"I come in peace," Jax said quickly as the impassive visor came into view, raising his hands in the air. "I'm only here to apologize…"
"It's not that I don't trust you, Jax," Din said with feigned skepticism, gesturing for the younger man to take a seat on the porch bench as he pulled over a chair for himself. "But my kid is inside…"
"Yeah, I get it," he sighed, settling on the bench sideways just like Din remembered his father used to do. "I'm sorry about how I acted earlier. I just worry a lot about my mom."
"Believe me," Din replied, taking a seat in the wooden chair and resting his elbows on his knees. "Your mom can definitely take care of herself."
To Din's surprise, Jax chuckled at that.
"To be fair," he finally responded. "I had no idea my parents were kriffing Mandalorians. I kind of thought the stories they told me as a kid were just… pretend."
Din huffed out a small laugh. He hadn't realized Jax had never been enlightened on those details.
"I take it you've been recently informed?"
"She probably told me too much," Jax replied, making a face of mock disgust. "Words like horny and friends with benefits came up… unfortunately…"
"I'm sorry you had to find out that way…" Din apologized genuinely, but Jax cut him off, shaking his head.
"I was surprised, obviously, but it's fine," he responded in a serious tone. "I'm glad she has you in her life."
"Zel is the best friend I've ever had," Din replied, equally earnest. "And I swear to you that I would never hurt her. She's too important to me."
"I believe you."
The door cracked open then, and Grogu toddled out onto the porch, looking between Din and Jax curiously.
"Hey, kid," Din greeted warmly, scooping him up. "Say hello. This is Zel's son."
Grogu waved and offered an adorably toothy approximation of a smile.
"Mama told me he was very small and not of our species…" Jax said, wide-eyed, as he returned the gesture. "But I have to admit I wasn't prepared for him to be… green…"
"Well," Din chuckled, noting Grogu's side-eye. "Just wait until you find out his age."
The two men spent the next hour chatting amiably as Grogu played in the yard.
Jax asked what his parents were like in their youth, and Din told him as much as he could remember, warmth and affection for them both coloring every word.
In turn, Din offered condolences and asked about Taro, entirely unsurprised to hear that he was an exemplary father. He'd apparently taught Jax everything he knew about weapons and fighting despite an exceedingly calm and gentle nature - a previously puzzling piece of Jax's childhood.
They went on to speak about Grogu… and Mandalore… and the tribe…
And finally conversation came back around to the reason for Jax's visit. Din smiled behind the visor as Jax spoke of his fiance with incredible tenderness. It sounded like a good match - much like that of his parents.
"Speaking of Tom," Jax said, sneaking a peak at the chronometer on his wrist and grimacing at the time. "He's back at the house with Mama waiting for you and Grogu to join us for dinner… if you're willing…"
"We'll be there."
________________________________________
Not even six months ago, Din had believed that solitude suited him.
Yet now he sat at his childhood friend's kitchen table, surrounded by lively conversation and clinking utensils, enveloped in the persistent warmth of both past and present connection…
And he couldn't imagine being anywhere else.
Reconnecting with Zel had changed his outlook on life exponentially, but this?
Feeling like part of a family?
He'd not known that he yearned for it until this very moment.
Despite the tense introduction, Jax had fully accepted Din's place in his mother's home, introducing him to his beloved Tom as if he and Din were old and storied friends.
Everything after that fell into easy familiarity - a kind Din had not experienced since he was a teenager - in the mess hall of their settlement on Concordia, Zel and his many vod at his side… or secretly meeting Taro for a friendly game of sabacc in the safety of darkness, Zel snoozing peacefully on her lover's shoulder.
Gods, how he'd missed it all these years.
He eventually found himself in the backyard, sheltered enough to protect his identity from passersby, sharing drinks around the little-used firepit, his own son snoring softly in Tom's (his new best friend) lap.
They spent the evening sharing stories, laughing, and toasting in honor of Zel's name day.
Din couldn't remember the last time he'd enjoyed company quite like this.
________________________________________
Though Din would never admit it, he lost his composure for just a second when Jax took his forearm before heading out to his hotel and unexpectedly wrapped him in a warm hug. He couldn't help but be reminded of his final moments with Taro all those years ago on Corellia, the present a much happier mirror to his past.
He'd lost everything that day.
Grogu had been the first to light the dark path that followed. Reclaiming Mandalore with Bo-Katan had been the second, and Zel's reappearance the third.
But today, it felt like the Manda had finally given it all back.
Zel caught that small show of emotion as Jax and Tom stepped out the door, but she didn't say a word, instead wrapping an arm around his waist and kissing his cheek.
"I'm so glad Jax was able to meet you," she said softly. "I think Taro would be very happy about that."
"I uhmmm… " Din started, clearing his throat and willing his emotional state away. "I'm happy about it, too."
She turned to stand in front of him, smiling as she reached up to thumb his beard.
"Would you like to stay over… sex buddy…?," she asked, grinning with amusement. "I seem to remember we got rather rudely interrupted."
Din looked over at Grogu's sleeping form. He was likely to be out for the rest of the night.
"Yeah," he nodded. "You know, though… that the 'buddy' part is more important to me than the 'sex' part. Right?"
"Of course I do," she replied earnestly, squeezing his shoulder, before putting on a flirtatious air. "But that doesn't make me enjoy your sexual prowess any less…"
Din chuckled, shaking his head. How he loved this woman's multitudes.
"I'm going to be riding that compliment for a long time, ner burcy'a…"
"I hope you do," she responded, rising up on her toes to kiss him before pulling him by the hand toward her bedroom.
________________________________________
THE END
Thank you so much for reading this unconventional FWB story! It got a lot more dramatic and angsty than I had originally intended, but I don't ever seem to have control over where my stories are going so 🤷🏼♀️
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Harry Vanderspeigle: Humans think they need love from others to be happy. They do not realize they already have all the love they will ever need inside of them. Maybe the real magic happens when you give that love away.
ITS THE IMPLICATION THAT HARRY WASNT A FLUKE. ITS THE ASSERTATION THAT LOVE AND KINDNESS AND COMPASSION AND COMMUNITY WILL REACH THE NEXT PERSON TOO. THAT EVEN IF HE MOVES ON THERE WILL BE SOMEONE ELSE IN HIS PLACE WHO WILL BE CHANGED TOO :((((
This is fun :) Each of these panels takes a long time but in different ways. I think I also need to start re-reading my own fic because I've been working on it for so long!
Series Masterlist
In Cold Blood
Some cases ask questions. This one just stared back...
The Bureau wants answers. Badge or no badge, I just want to do right by the Clutters...
*crime scene
Ever feel like your life belongs to someone else? The newspapers got it wrong...I'm not a nobody...
Say Boss, let me take care of you for a change...
I've spent enough time with ghosts today...
Come join the land of the living...
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Thinking about the whole "there is no platonic explanation for this" thing and how it doesn't account for intense platonic situationships and anyways I think we should start saying "there is no casual explanation for this" bc really what we're talking about is the way the characters in question are Obsessed with each other
I've seen a bunch of "fandom etiquette" posts on my dash today and I'm going to say something that is maybe going to be unpopular but;
The absolutely pervasive mentality that unwanted criticism or critique shouldn't be given and should be ignored is why fans of color don't stay in fan spaces.
And I am not going to mince words here:
A lot of you are racist. A lot of your fan works are racist.
That might have been difficult to hear. And if it was, you should probably reflect on why that was.
"Fandom etiquette" has created a space where fans of color either bite our tongues and eventually leave or say something, get dogged on, and then eventually leave.
So much of "fandom etiquette" seems to be about insulating creatives from Feeling Bad and hostility to any kind of negative feedback is a pretty big contributor to why bigotry festers in these spaces.
#imo the potluck analogy applies- it would be rude to critique someone's icing technique at a potluck bc it wasn't as good as at the bakery #but if they had decorated their cupcakes w hate symbols it wouldn't be rude to tell them that's gross and gtfo #in fact it would be inappropriate to NOT say anything in that situation #or to complain that another guest who did point it out was 'ruining everyone's potluck' #and pointing out racism in fan works is 100% the second thing not the first! (via destructions-daughter)
There's also a tendency to conflate anyone who critiques general trends with bad faith randos. Like, there is fandom behavior that is 100% racist and should be talked about, but there are also trends of racist/sexist/ableist preferences.
If I say "I am uncomfortable with fandom's tendency to write trans men as feminine and submissive" I do not mean "I think every person who writes feminine submissive trans men should be chased with pitchforks". I don't even mean "any cis-person who writes feminine or submissive trans men should be chased with pitchforks". I mean "I would like writers to seriously think about why this is so common, why they write that, and if it fairly and genuinely engages with what it means to be a trans man, or if they just think it's hot when submissive people have vaginas and didn't want to write omegaverse of m/f".
Similarly, when people say "fandom is systemically less interested in black characters, less willing to give flat black characters rich fanon than flat white characters, and less interested in black characters in ships", the response is not to explain why you, personally, just happen to like popular white guy in that fanon. Your job is to look at yourself and ask if you tend to "just happen to be more interested" in the popular white guy across fandoms, be honest, and start unpacking that. Sometimes it's easier to love the flat character who's already getting 10,000 fics with headcanons and art and meta.
If somebody says "I wish there were more gluten free options at the potluck. I hate always showing up and not finding anything I can eat*", they are not asking you to throw your cake in the trash and weep. They do not want to hear your long speech about how actually this is your grandmother's recipe, and you've tried it with rice flour actually, but it just didn't work. You think about what you can do, and you listen to how they feel.
*The metaphor here not being that you can't read fic that isn't "good rep". The metaphor here is that it can be isolating to be in spaces where nobody is trying to make sure people like you are welcome.
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