Hey beauties! Welcome to Pedge's World, our little corner of the digital universe where healing, freedom and chocolate chip cookies reign supreme! Pedge helps me sort through all of my sad, sexy, angry, euphoric, hungry, cranky, spiritual, creative moods! I hope you will join us! 18+, no minors!
Sexy Series Masterlist (RPF)
Let's Stick Together!
Pull Pedge Apart; Pop Up Pedge
Dieter's Art Studio
Dieter's Art Studio; Remodel
My Darling Muse
Afterglow Series
Pedge's Campsite
Fun With Mood Boards!
Pedro Boys
Pedro Posts, Polls and Prompts
Pedge's Juke Box
Pedge Tweets!
Pedge's Bookshop
Pedge's Plays
Pedge's Cinema
Pedge's Comics
Twelve Zodiac Signs
Major Arcana
Minor Arcana
Oracle Cards
Suit Selection (audio listening)
Digital Oracle Card Pull (IG)
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Well now I feel a little silly. In all my research it seemed Pedro Pascal and Chris Evans were in this piece. They were. 15 years apart from one other in different locations. Lol. I would have enjoyed seeing both productions.
"Written by Kenneth Lonergan, Lobby Hero is a comic drama set in the late-night lobby of a Manhattan apartment building. It centers on four ordinary New Yorkers—a bumbling young security guard, his strict boss, a rookie female cop, and her arrogant partner—whose lives intertwine during a local murder investigation, forcing them to navigate shifting ethical boundaries, systemic corruption, and personal loyalties."
Yay. Today felt artistically redemptive. When you don't waste time wondering if you're being successful it's much easier to achieve some exploration of it. My attempt to stay cool may have been a bust, but the art managed to strive regardless.
Series Masterlist
In Cold Blood
Got plenty of patience. It's the helplessness I can't stand...
I wanted the money. I just didn't want the violence...
It was like I wasn't part of it. Like reading a story.
I'm really pleased with how this turned out. Not because of the caliber but simply because it exists. The other night my i-pad absolutely ate about a month's worth of activity, but this was the piece I most mourned. And after about 24 hours of artistic grief, I reasoned; I alone am capable of starting this again. So I did. I paid more attention to the cello itself and I saved the image every 15 minutes like some sort of repeated prayer :) And here it is :) So I win.
As always there seems to be some discourse about this kiss, but it looks awesome to me. It looks like two dynamic powers interacting and attempting to get control of the same moment. And it looks like fun...
Getting closer to completing this fic! It's been fun to review the important points, and hopefully soon I'll be able to extract my heroes out of the predicament I've placed them in...
Series Masterlist
In Cold Blood
A detective can survive losing a case. Not his girl.
Whatever happens, leave Tim out of this...
Come on, Red. Help me think...
Where have you and Dick really been?
Nobody ever understood. Nobody.
Like him just fine...up until the moment I cut his throat...
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🦋 My current WIP is "In Cold Blood". I don't know why I haven't finished it yet, and I've left my heroine in a disastrous situation. I've been trying to review all the material via Pedge's Comics.
🌿 My favorite character I've written for is....well me. Lol. I love exploring all these different facets of my persona through the PP fandom. Maybe one day I won't be so imaginary...
🌞 For that reason my favorite character would currently be Red. She's definitely autobiographical in a "His Girl Friday" kind of way.
🍦 Current word count? On that WIP? Zero. Wait, maybe I should include a word count for what I've written! This feels like doing my taxes; over 110k. I don't even think my Masters Thesis was that long...
🌻Hmm...Hardest character to write would still be me because it's hard to be objective. I can be very judgmental. In the PPCU fandom I haven't written for Clint or Garcia as I find them a bit standoffish.
🍉 As I said in my answers my favorite overall WIP is really this entire blog. I love the variety afforded us whether video, artwork or fanfics. Hopefully it's a delightful buffet everyone, including me can enjoy at their leisure.
☁️ There are many WIPs I want to be working on. I liked the Pedge's Cinema with Javi, he's so cuddly. And I'd like to get started on Pedge's Plays, which will deconstruct theater, but both of these take a lot of time and research.
🌸 I've been working on "In Cold Blood" the longest. But most of my projects are open ended (not in terms of plot lines) so I could return to any narrative at any time.
✨ Newest WIP would be...probably Pedge's Menu. That's been a fun respite to combine books, movies and food in ways that PP might have mentioned in passing.
🦩 I mean, I hate my hesitancy in finishing "In Cold Blood" mostly because I don't understand it. I'm throughly planning on continuing the adventure in "Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead", but not every character can come with me.
🍸 The character who has inspired my main character would be me lol. Or at least some sort of idealized version of me. Funnily enough, in some ways I'd describe Pedge the same way. I appreciate resiliency, sensitivity and self acceptance.
🌱 Oh the book that inspired "In Cold Blood" is of the same name. I don't know, Truman Capote may have already written the ultimate fanfic. What an amazing writer, it's glorious to reference his work so often.
🍃 How would I describe my genre? Hmmm....Well, I'm always focusing on psychology and emotion. Angst isn't a genre lol. I like the hurt/comfort trope. I am my own genre. There.
🌼 Least favorite writing genre would probably be...smut? Not because I don't enjoy it, but as a demi-sexual I don't have a lot personal experience to draw on so I'm always afraid I'm doing it an injustice.
🥥 Least favorite reading genre? Nothing is standing out to me. There are some triggers I won't list here, because they simply don't appeal to me. I don't like giving BJ's so I don't like reading about them either. Ooops.
🐠 Oh wow we have so many authors are Tumblr that are inspiring. I also appreciate consistency, kindness and longevity. If I tagged you in this post that means you're probs one of them...
🍯 I'm an author I know! I have two published books! But who else do I know? Like on Tumblr? I try to keep my personal life a bit more anonymous but I have been connecting with people a bit more specifically about professional and personal ideas.
🌷 I guess I'd like to brag about those two books I mentioned. The masters thesis is not very interesting but the second published book is on Amazon. I also have a podcast related to it, but I'm not telling any titles :) #shush
🍄 A song that represents Red for "In Cold Blood" would be the jazz song "All of Me".
🍬 Since we're talking a lot about "In Cold Blood" a song for the Rockford character could be "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?"
🌤 The hardest thing I have to do for writing is not base my identity on the response or non-response I might receive. I have to interact with this idea a lot in the professional performing arts world, but recreationally my armor isn't so stout. I write for me. That has to be it.
🍰 I do like writing at home because it feels very clandestine, but it's fun to get out to a local cafe or diner to set the mood.
🍧 It feels very odd to try to write romance or smut in public. I find myself looking over my shoulder, making sure no one can see me. Sometimes for my other art I'll be drawing at Disneyland and I feel really shy. I actually ran into one of my students and nearly blushed!
🕊 MC's MBTI; Ooooh, I had to look this one up. I haven't done one of these in forever. I'm all about the Ennegram though so I'll reference my own personality for Red which is The Adventurer and The Dreamer.
🍀 Oh bother. The character I would kill off in "In Cold Blood" is Dick. In the original material Perry is portrayed with more compassion, but Dick seems pretty irredeemable. I don't like to think that of any human, so hopefully I'm wrong. Since they've both already passed I don't have to worry about it.
🍓 The absolute worst thing I've done to my characters is leave them in the situation they're in! I feel they are completely frozen in this literary limbo! I must save them!
👒 Nicest thing I've done for my characters is bring them into existence :) Living is awesome! Even imaginary living :) I hope they are enjoying themselves!
🌾 Oh there are so many books I'd like to write fanfic for. That's the whole point of Pedge's Bookshop. I tried my darndest with Crime and Punishment but that was a definitive overreach. I'd like to try Franny and Zooey, that dialogue style is pretty awesome.
🌨️ A book I hate? Okay I'm going to be totally honest and say the first thing that popped into my head which is....The Bible. Sweet Baby Jesus please don't strike me dead because I DO enjoy the Good News. The thing I hate is patriarchal, lacking, male-driven, non-evolving, limited, culturally biased interpretations. I've stopped reading it for the time being because I can find Love in so many other immediate places.
In a strange series of events Pedge decided to up-end the vote, which doesn't happen very often. This feels like a million years ago, but the SNL 50 Special was such a fun way to celebrate the improvisational and theatrical aspects of that show. I still think Pedge should have won that Emmy for his first visit, and he agrees with me :)
Series Masterlist
*just trying some different things; background is not mine
I don't know what possessed me to try two in one day. But it's so hot here I can only clean in the evening until I collapse from exhaustion. I better slow down otherwise I'm gonna have to write the next fic...
Series Masterlist
In Cold Blood
Rockford and Associates. I meant every word...
Never figured peace would look like sharing a pillow...
Goodbye, Perry.
Grief's just love that forgot where to go...
Some things are easier to survive than remember...
Why are you so obsessed with him when I'm standing right here?
Oh man. It's hotter than Hades here in Southern California, which is to be expected. The heat generally adds to my birthday month ennui but today I'm just thankful to have air conditioning. Still unsure how to celebrate, but finding some ideas. And enjoying wherever my art is taking me, however inconvenient or inconsistent....
Series Masterlist
In Cold Blood
Let's see if we can convince Kansas' finest...
We finally caught ourselves a break...
Everybody loves a theory until the facts show up...
It's hard to believe they were ever ordinary boys...
Don't spend your whole life chasing somebody else's war...
Continuing a different series as I've been crafting more culinary experiences and tying them to cinema, literature and solo adventures. This last year I've spent a lot of time in a noir state, researching for In Cold Blood and looking forward to De Noche! Pull up a chair in Pedge's kitchen!
In Cold Blood
Ingredients
Ribeye or NY strip
Salt, black pepper, garlic powder
Butter
Blue cheese crumbles or cream cheese
Arugula
Yukon Gold potatoes
Sour cream
Asparagus
Directions
Boil potatoes; mash with butter, sour cream, salt, and pepper.
Toss asparagus with seasoning; roast at 425°F for 10 to 12 min.
Season steak and sear 3 to 5 min per side. Rest 5 min.
Melt cheese over the warm steak; top with arugula.
I recommend enjoying with an old-fashioned and watching "In Cold Blood" or reading through my series! Extra credit points if paired with the Truman Capote classic! Bon apetite!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Today was much better than yesterday. While I don't want to discount my very real and valid emotions I think I am also suspiciously hormonal which just aggrandizes everything. Thankful for the easy week and waiting to see if the new August job will bring more work...
Series Masterlist
In Cold Blood
I could get used to road trips with you...
Let's hear them out before we start digging...
Nobody remembers raising a murderer. They remember raising a kid.
According to Google, the synopsis of Anna In the Tropics follows;
"In a traditional Cuban cigar factory, workers roll cigars by hand while listening to a lector—someone hired to read literature aloud to entertain and educate the workers. Factory owner Santiago and his wife Ofelia excitedly await the arrival of their new lector, Juan Julián. Upon his arrival, Juan Julián chooses to read Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina to the workers.As the story unfolds, the themes of Tolstoy's novel bleed into the lives of the workers. Conchita, who is trapped in a loveless and unfaithful marriage to Palomo, becomes infatuated with Juan Julián. They begin an affair, which unexpectedly gives Conchita the courage to be transparent with her husband, ultimately transforming her into a more empowered woman. Meanwhile, Marela, Conchita's younger sister, dreams of finding true love and models for a new cigar label named 'Anna Karenina'".
Series Masterlist
Gawd I love theater. Pedge, can you do a remount of all these pieces just so I can see it for a night? The NY Library has recorded most Broadway plays, but I'm unsure about regional and off-Broadway work. Plus I be in L.A. Your girl is a home body now.
Triggers; Parasocial role play, birthday disappointment, hysterectomy, eh just a bunch of annoyingly valid complaints that don't have anywhere to go....
My eyes are swollen shut into little slits. Crying for hours and stupid allergies. You know something they don't tell you about having your uterus taken out is that you still get a menstrual cycle, but now you have no earthly way of knowing when exactly it's happening. It's all sort of dissolved into a disastrous ongoing tumult of possible peri-menopause, hormonal, 40 something, chronic illness exhaustion that feels unpredictable and inarticulable.
I'm really proud of myself for handling some recent professional difficulties with creativity and communication, but that didn't make it easy. I'm an only child, demisexual l and haven't been partnered in 2 decades. All of my friends have moved on, and despite being an extrovert I'm so exhausted and constantly reaching---only to be greeted by abandonment and inauthenticity.
Healthy para-socialism or role playing is great because it really does allow a therapeutic discussion that focuses on you through the avatar of a distant person you care about. It's a great mirror, and Pedge is the greatest. But today's discussion centered around mothering.
This gets tricky because so many of us have a mother wound that is so deep it feels lousy to compare and contrast. I feel ungrateful, but even my father apologized on her behalf, so I can't be completely off base. I don't doubt her love for a second, or doubt the ways she's moved heaven and earth to create life for me. But I wanted more. I needed more gentility, more sensitivity, and this was as far as she could go.
There were many extenuating circumstances, but for last year's birthday she didn't call, and then I got fired. What a great one, two punch in the uterine devoid gut. I may not have any children, but it's a great opportunity to "re-parent" yourself. And things will be fine. I can celebrate my birthday on my own. It's coming up in two weeks and I didn't want a repeat, of last year. Needless to say my first attempts haven't gone over so well.
Art is such a therapeutic device for me but drawing, writing, musicality; it's all falling flat, not in terms of the process but the level of connection I'm trying to achieve. As a professional musician my creativity has moved through many different seasons, and this is a sparse one externally, but not internally. Perhaps I can be grateful for that alone.
Well, I'm going to get some better eye drops. The therapeutic role play will continue as Pedge and I snuggle in for bed and have important discussions that don't reopen old wounds. Sigh. And tomorrow I will art, and read, and eat and cry and do all the things that little humans do, bumbling through this somewhat dark, occasionally light, unpredictable thing we call existence.
Send hugs. And chocolate chip cookies if you have them.
The adventure continues! I am re-using a few images, but I create at least one new one for each installment. I'm hoping by the end I'll be inspired to actually complete the fiction :)
Series Masterlist
In Cold Blood
The Clutter Home had one last story to tell us...
The dead leave fingerprints on more than walls...
For the first time, the victims felt more real than the crime...
RIP Clutter Family
Perry wasn't just running. He wanted someone to listen...
Alright, bear with me, because I'm trying something new here. I've been recently re-obsessed with crafting culinary based experiences that I enjoy at home, with cinema, or at specific locations. I'm sure we're all familiar with this glorious moment when Pedge....enjoys himself. I'm not sure how directly applicable it is, but I'm halfway through "One Hundred Years of Solitude" and whether you read it or watch it, is a mystical treat. Here in the States couple it with a culinary adventure and drop by your nearest grocery or market to....enjoy yourself.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I think it's very possible this movie is going to be the new favorite in my list of Pedrito favorites. I really think we're going to see the full range of his capabilities in this one.
"Being in a gladiator arena or hanging from a harness, that stuff pales in comparison to learning how to play the cello and making it look convincing as you’re doing Tchaikovsky. Holding a bow correctly, alone, takes a day’s lesson, and that’s moving fast. This was ten times harder than any of those things because of the fucking cello. Literally the hardest, hardest, hardest thing I’ve ever had to learn to do. This was stepping into the thing I always wanted; a character where your own experience is the only source you have.Alex is not a rock star. he’s not even somebody that’s looking for the spotlight. He’s just someone who first language is music. It’s a love letter to music; it’s a love letter to movies. It’s about family, it’s about legacy, it’s about healing. I wished for myself this kind of experience as an actor before I ever got to act. And now it’s coming very much later in my life and later in my career. There was an instant kismet.”
-Variety "Behemoth" Interview 2026
