But We Were Never Heroes.

This is an every hyperfixation dumpsterfire because I can’t compartmentalise, can I hear a wahoo. Again, if you know me, pretend you never saw this. I need this aside from real life to vent weirdness into the void.

TMNT is a life-long special interest so that’ll probably stick around and recur. The answer to which TMNT I like is “Yes”.

Yes, you can use any of my art you want to as headers or pfps. No, reposting art is silly please don’t do it. This account would get an M rating as a movie but mostly just because of the occasional blood and swearing. Minors are welcome to interact but I am an adult ok I pay taxes. No tcest or sexual content ever, just silliness and thinking too hard about things generally nobody cares about.

First look Via Polygon https://polygon.com/exclusive-first-look-at-the-next-tmnt-show/

Turtle info channels are going nuts today and the fandom is being -predictable. The complaints (outside of ‘boo hoo, this wasn’t made for me’) are on assumed quality, and their designs.

Parents are sighing at another franchise brushed by the “cocomelon effect” - where things become far oversimplified shadows of themselves designed to catch kid-view clicks, wrapped in simple and somewhat unnerving 3D packaging. 3D kids entertainment is over saturated with stuff that looks like an AI churned it out in an hour, and they’re over it.

But I’m not sure the kids watching are in for total brain mush. The sneak peek shows a whole story in images: Donatello tells Mike not to be irresponsible with science. The rogue science pizza monster goes on a rampage. Donatello saves the day with more science. 🧪Science! At the very least, it’s not looking like it’s about to give your child speech delays if it becomes a favourite. We’re living in a time where children’s television is horrendously overwhelming, overstimulating, and total rubbish for little brains. They clearly weren’t out to make the next Bluey on this but to some 2-year-old out there it’s going to be life.

On the design note, some are reminiscing and wonder about the “bobblehead” approach when charming preschool-targeted versions ripe for 3D rendering exist in the TMNT feature, the Half-Shell Heroes: Blast to the Past movie. Although, not that much has changed.

The Half-Shell Heroes: Blast to the Past characters designs were based largely on the 2012 series.

They all have the iconic eye mask and gear with distinct colours, even with variation in skin tone, and have their standard weapons despite having the appearance of plastic toys. With huge eyes and tiny mouths they’re following preschool targeted character trends.

Raphael has a snaggle-tooth, Mike has a bandage, Donatello has again been hit with the skinny stick (I am not commenting on his weapon. I am not), and Leonardo’s shell colour makes him seem even more naked than the others. But they’re sweet, and palatable. This is also the first time any turtle has had amber eyes recognisable as yellow in canon, the closest prior being Leonardo in the 2007 movie with a “golden amber”.

On screen together, on screeeeeen

Eric: THIS MEANS WAR. Muriel: tee hee

“Hello again.” “Ohh!”

“Hello :D :D :D …. You’re almost certainly in trouble too!” Almost certainly? Aw, making an exception?

Eric: There must be hurting, and burning! Muriel: You tell’m, good job :)

Muriel: Very good! Eric: :] Muriel :]

~time after time~

I love TMNT covers and went down the .. rabbit hole for more Usagi crossovers and they’re so visually satisfying. Signature Sakai simplicity, totally different styles, some damn can I get this as a poster type stuff, it’s all good fun.

But I love these. At each other’s back, at each other’s throat, looking badass af, and just chillin with chow (okonomiyaki?) haha so cute.

They were stupid for each other. The only thing they wanted was to be together. Sex is just a thing you can do with your body, and their bodies were issued to them - not even really a part of them, just a costume. They loved with their entire being.

You didn’t need another kiss.

They did this.

I’ve loaded up the first DVD in season one of TMNT 2003 original release and there are DVD extras. I don’t think I ever watched them! Or at least … I forgot them over the last 20 years.

The first is Leo’s profile [which is a tiny animation segment where he thinks “My brothers look to me for leadership, guidance, and if they ever need me - I’ll be there for them.” And the guys come in to ruin his meditation and make fun of him, and his internal monologue continues “Not that they appreciate it… sometimes I wonder why I get out of bed in the morning.”] But more importantly, there’s a Peter Laird interview about the making of the turtles and the 2003 series in parts on these. Probably not the kind of thing you’re going to find unless you go looking, so I did, it’s here on YouTube - yup, these uploads are 17 years old:

THE NEXT DAY.

A lot of TOTTMNT style and symbolism is blink-and-you’ll-miss-it. It’s highly expressive animation that values leaving impressions - communication - over clean rendering.

Hidden away in a battle scene for a single frame at a would-be moment-of-death, the Hamato clan symbol didn’t just appear on screen but violently manifested. They wanted us to know that something bigger than what we could see was happening.

This is burned into my retina btw.

It’s just a theory - and maybe a wild one. But I think this insane visual communication drop is about self-actualisation. Tales Leonardo loves to think of himself, and his brothers, as heroes. They’ve done good things, they’ve beaten a bad guy, and that’s the bar for what you assume makes a hero when you’re a child. These kids are growing up playing dangerous games and despite their Superfly showdown and all of season 1, the guys still don’t seem to have fully accommodated that death is a very real consequence of squaring up the bad-guys. And so enters an opportunity for the writers to do what all writers do with their Leonardo, because it’s fun; write an emotionally tumultuous epic that leaves him forever changed. (Hey, why wouldn’t they let Leonardo on the plane? …too much baggage.)

On this journey, Leonardo faces the consequence of his own arrogance and he learns just how heavy the weight of his responsibility is. We see him finally get a glimpse of the power he really has when it comes to his brothers, their actions, and their lives. He wants to play “hero” like a child would imagine it, and it ends in his having to face whether he actually is one out of necessity and the reality of it is bittersweet.

Mike fumbles and Leo assists. Immediately, quickly, without hesitation, securing himself between the threat of death and his brother. Leonardo had absolutely no idea if either of them would live in this moment. He was going to save Michelangelo or die trying.

Of course a hero emerged. But no Leonardo gets out of having trauma origins. This is the ‘bitter’. His leadership got them out, his speed and skill saved Mike. But his brothers - his home and purpose - were all in danger because of his decisions. It never should have happened. He fucked up and this moment will haunt him forever. On the sweet, Leo experiences a connection of inner and outer selves; he was tested by a situation and his actions aligned with who he hoped he really was. Tales Leo had a sincere moment of actualisation, and I suspect that’s why we see this beautiful piece of symbolism.

The brothers are each on their own highly individualised coming-of-age journeys; something that we’ve never seen this succinctly from the television franchise before, and yes the three-parter “tales” format gives the writers the freedom to at any time say, ‘oh this was pure fantasy, or total truth, or a bit of both because these are kids and unreliable narrators.’ but what I think we can safely assume will inform future storytelling is how they’ve developed in skill level and who they have grown to be as people over the course of these stories, whether they were real or not.

The screen-captures above are from this artistically and conceptually wonderful fight scene in tottmnt season 2.

With Mutant Mayhem and the ongoing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles version such a success* I know this is in incredible hands. He and his production company are now taking on The Muppet Show and - what we saw in that Segel movie wasn’t hokum, the Muppets really are a cursed kind of underdog despite the notoriety. It ends up revived and cancelled after 2 seasons, or revived and the sequel movies bomb. Right now the major issue is going to be Kermit’s voice, nobody can seem to shut up about it. It can’t be our beloved Henson, and the last dude got fired. Matt Vogel is fine honestly - and Kermit is a 70 year-old frog, give him a break.

THROW YOUR EYES AT IT. GIVE THOSE RATINGS, MUPPETS NEED THEM TO LIVE. Also, Sabrina Carpenter will be in it if you’re into that.

If you’re a Miyamoto Usagi fan, whether the ninja turtles brought you here or you just love the honourable rōnin, you may have heard of the new 5-issue comic series coming soon; KAITŌ ’84. Stan Sakai, creator and author of the Usagi Yojimbo comics (still ongoing since 1987 and now at over 280 issues) has allowed Zack Rosenberg & Jared Cullum to take on this project and I cannot stress how exciting this pre-launch art is.

In the agony of traditional watercolours, Jared Cullum is illustrating the Kaito ‘84 series.

Artwork by Jared Cullum from his Instagram - here

I am so wrapped with this design. A fresh dynamic take that blends his various incarnations. Why does Kaitō have Usagi’s trademark brow scar? We’ll be finding out together.

Meet Miyamoto Usagi’s descendant, Kaitō. The story is set in Osaka in the year 1984 (incidentally, the year Usagi first appeared as a character). Kaitō is a thief, and that’s about all we know of him so far, but is enough to know Usagi would make his ears ring with disapproval. Kaitō gets caught up in a heist for a legendary spear and as with every heist plot line ever we can assume things will go pears. Let’s see if it’s story where he learns some valuable lessons on his grimminygrimminygramdaddy’s tenets of honour, loyalty, and compassion.