neuroqueer

What is stimming?

In it’s most simple form, stimming is a repetitive body movement that self-stimulates one or more senses in a regulated manner.

What types of stims are there?

Visual Stims

Flapping hands, blinking and/or moving fingers in front of eyes, staring repetitively at a light, pressing on closed eyes to create visual effect [pressure phosphene], …

Auditory Stims

Snapping fingers, tapping on objects, listening to the same song on a loop, rolling Rs, “cat noises”, repeating words, putting hands over ears, singing, clicking tongue, humming…

Tactile Stims

Scratching, rubbing the skin with one’s hands or with an external object, pinching the skin, putting thumb inside fist, sucking thumb, rubbing hands/feet together, petting preferred textures, tying knots/twirling string, twirling/stroking hair…

Vestibular Stims

Moving body in rhythmic motion, rocking front and back or side-to-side), spinning, pacing, walking in circles, walking on tip-toes, jumping up and down…

Taste Stims

Licking body parts, licking an object…

Smell Stims

Smelling objects or hands, smelling other people…

Rhythmic Stims

Tapping on surfaces/objects/self, clicking fingers, making repetitive vocal sounds, bouncing legs, foot tapping, hand flapping, clicking pens, …

There are a lot of other stims as well that don’t necessarily fall under the category of “repetitive” such as pressure stimming, which are still just as valid. Basically if what you do serves the purpose of the stim, you can call it a stim.

Why do people stim?

People stim for all different kinds of reasons. They may stim when they are happy or excited, when they are stressed, as a part of their normal body language, as a way of communication, as a punishment, as a response to something internal or external, as a compulsion, to focus, to self soothe, etc. Stimming can be a coping mechanism, but it can also be so much more! No matter what reason someone has for stimming though, it’s important to remember that all stims are natural and normal.

Who stims?

Anyone that find stimming useful, whether consciously or subconsciously, can stim. That includes neurotypicals, but mainly stimming is seen as something that neurodivergent people do and it occurs most frequently in:

autism spectrum

Tourette’s

schizophrenia

OCD

people that experience mania/hypomania

people with ADHD/ADD

etc

Where can I find stim toys/jewelry?

Stimtastic

TherapyShoppe

AutismShop

SensoryUniversity

OfficePlayground

literally ANYONE who has to be around a disabled person is considered a “saint” or somehow better than a normal person just because they have to be with disabled people. that is a fact. friends, family, teachers, aids, spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends everyone. don’t even try to deny this because there are whole websites dedicated to blogs for mothers so they can share THEIR struggles of being a “disabled mother” as i’ve seen them call themselves. a disabled mother. (do i even need to explain that? really?)

like, i understand it would be hard sometimes but??? raising all kids is hard??? you don’t get a special token because your kid is disabled?? and so often they have the narrative that “i never wanted a disabled kid. that was my worst fear. but now that i have them i love them just like my abled child” if you don’t want a disabled kids don’t have kids please. please. i’m begging you don’t have kids if you feel like you wouldn’t want a disabled child. 

and it’s not just moms, it’s family and friends too. i’m not going to treat it as a coincidence that the rest of my family seems to interact and spend more time than my abled cousins than they do me. do they feel like it’s harder to take me out into the “real world”? are they not prepared to help me me with simple tasks that i can’t do? who knows. and it’s no secret with friends it’s the same situation, maybe worse, ESPECIALLY when they’re young. how many “inspiring” articles have you seen where it’s basically “look! my small child made friends with the disabled kid at their school! children are so much more accepting that adults <3″ what about that time when i was 13 and i went to a birthday party and the mother basically asked her daughter if i was the same girl that was disabled? i feel like i’m seen as the “token disabled person” in school more than anything else. 

and then you get to the people who work with disabled people and their viewed as such good people just because of it. oh, you’re a special education teacher? and aid? that must be so hard! i could never do it. you deserve and award.

the ABSOLUTE worst part of this comes when you’re dating a disabled person. you NEVER see abled people saying “oh, i want to date a disabled person” and when disabled people say they want to date abled people? it’s seen as almost unrealistic. “it would just be easier to date a disabled person.” disabled people are seen as unlovable, helpless, broken and almost not even fully human. abled people are pegged as saints for dating disabled people, and when something happens to an abled person to make them disabled? “you’re so brave for staying with them. it must be so hard.” and i dread prom season, because there’s a million articles that are just “the fact that this popular person went to prom with a disabled person is inspiring.” when disabled people DO want to date other disabled people i feel like their relationship isn’t even seen as a romantic relationship because disabled people can’t do that right? they’re not capable of holding down relationships? loving? there is so much stigma around two disabled people getting married, even more so with them raising children. i can assure you that two disabled people are capable of raising a child. i promise. there does not need to be an abled person in the relationship to make it work. 

*rearranges objects in a room* look, the world changed for me! 

and they act like you’re asking the world to change for you when you are changing yourself! like, if the sound of people eating chips really really bothers you and so you leave the room whenever people eat chips, you are not telling people to stop eating chips! you are adjusting your behavior to avoid unpleasant (and possibly painful) things! but therapists will act like, by doing that, you are, not even telling people not to eat chips around you, but like, trying to force people to never eat chips again, or trying to uninvent chips 

Poem below the drawing reads:

BATTY

The baby bat

Screamed out in fright,

“Turn on the dark,

I’m afraid of the light.”

it’s like you’re scared of dogs, because you were bit by a dog. well, you were bit by multiple dogs. almost every dog you have met, actually.

Image description: A square shaped meme with blue and green coloring blended together and the following words in white capital letters: “On this Labor Day, we recognize that close to 30% of adults with intellectual or developmental disabilities who are employed are working in sheltered workshops.

In sheltered workshops employees:

Make less than the federal minimum wage, often less than $1 per hour Are often segregated and isolated from the community Do not have the benefits of workers’ compensation Do not have the privilege of collective bargaining Are exploited and trapped in cycle of poverty.

It sounds perfectly understandable in your situation to not be very keen on physical intimacy. Autistic people often have their own ideas of what’s important or what’s pleasant, and can just not want all sorts of things that “everyone” likes. I can’t give you good numbers, but plenty of people find sex unpleasant or unappealing for all sorts of reasons, and all of them are perfectly valid. So the only reason that it matters *why* you feel this way is if you choose to work through or around it - and that’s an involved and detailed process, probably better suited to a good friend or a therapist than an anonymous ask. So, this doesn’t make you a freak, or any more or less autistic. And if you’d like, I’m happy to talk about this further in private (which I’m afraid means off anonymous), but we try not to have this sort of thing all over the blog.