me in my early 30s. the way i cope with this feeling is by thinking about how i figured it out when it was the right time for me. when i finally had any silence or stillness in my life. when it was safe to hatch. it doesn't make it any easier, mourning time lost, or what could have been. and i think my experiences in my 20s really helped solidify what i now know about myself. like i had to try every wrong thing that didn't work first before finally landing on the truth. it would have been so much harder for me to come out in my teens and 20s, and i admittedly didn't know enough to do so. even though i was always supportive, and saw myself as pansexual, and was vaguely aware of trans people, i thought being trans was something for other people. i didn't think it was something in my cards. it's such a weird thing to look back on now, but like... my life doesn't even make sense without the context of being trans. there's not a single part of my life that is explainable by being cis. i'm glad i know now, even if i wish i knew sooner, but wow. when that grief hit me it hit hard.




























