steak: well done

milk: almond

alcohol: no

steak: none

milk: whole

alcohol: whiskey, neat

Hornet, if she was an encounter in Hades II

she is so small and powerless, her back propped up against the wall, trembling, her face betrays the sheer terror she has just experienced. however, one thing that stuck with me was the color choice of this particular scene - in addition to the aforementioned details nanami is put up against a red backdrop

im aware of the cultural associations of red with danger and passion and how utena uses these associations to telegraph emotions to the audience, though i cant help but think of a particular character whose associated color is red... who also happens to be nanami's brother touga, whom she had spent the entire series up to this point professing her love for

it doesn't help that the next episode is also when nanami challenges utena to a duel for the second time, and it's also the same episode where akio takes nanami and touga out for a ride, the significance of which i need not delve into. this is where nanami's supposed love is 'reciprocated' as touga kisses her against her will and the nightmare scenario that nanami had only imagined in the prior episode becomes a reality, even if it's for a brief moment

with this context in mind i feel this particular color choice is a visual representation of nanami's thoughts - she is all alone and helpless and quite literally engulfed by her brother's presence, as she puts the pieces together and realizes the implications of her and touga's relationship and its trajectory, and the only way is down.

"Too bad sex is inherently like this, but I have defintely not been hurt by this at all because at least I have the Kiryuu name now. And since sex is inherently like this, it's fine for me to manipulate girls because they gain social capital by sleeping with me, so really it's mutually beneficial. I am well adjusted and a feminist :).

You're a child and your parents tell you you're being sold. You have to grow out your hair because that's what the customer wants. You assume the customer will be your new parent. You grow your hair out because you know nothing else than doing what you're told.

You finally meet the customer. Customer. Not new parent. You don't know what you're being sold as. You think you're there to be a child. And you are. But not in any way you ever wanted to be.

For the first time, you want to do something other than what you're told. No, you must do something else. You have to do something else. You cannot live like this anymore, with no power, no say in what the customer (he wants you to call him father, but this man is worse than any father you've ever known) does to you.

You see your chance. You run away. You run and you run and you run but it's not enough. You're too small. Too weak. And the customer is too strong, too powerful. You have no choice. You give up.

He catches you. He calls you beautiful.

Years go by this way. You push away your friends and then do everything you can to keep them close. But you can't let them know you care. You can't let anyone know you care. Caring makes you weak. It makes you vulnerable. Your hair gets longer. You're beautiful, he says.

Then, you meet a man who tells you he can make you strong. He's gorgeous and he's attentive and he's beautiful, but he's still powerful. And you realize beauty can give you immense power. He teaches you things, things you had thought you knew, but he makes them better. And it's different, you tell yourself. It's different when it's him because you want it now. You want to be like him so you must learn from him, and it's different. You're older. More mature. But not as mature as he is.

He calls you beautiful.

You learn from him. You weave words together beautifully. People want to do things for you. People love you. People want you. And you have the power to deny them. Keep them wanting. Make them beg. Make them chase you, but they can't catch you.

Alien.

Kofi!