victoria vexley

postcards , mcu dr ⋆˚꩜｡

a letter circa late 2014, from revenant to james buchanan barnes. this letter, now preserved in the archives, was sent three months after the project insight mission and the dismantling of shield. it was at this point in time that the avengers were freshly living in the tower, and revenant was an unofficial member. this was before her trial.

dear,

natasha has found your location. neither of us will tell anyone where you are. i won't visit you.

when you dropped captain america (steve rogers) on that shore, i didn't think i would stay. i thought i would... i don't know what i was thinking. maybe part of me understood the next part of your life was one to do alone.

i'm glad when you were wiped is, supposedly, the last time it'll happen. i'm bitter that i didn't savor the ease of our life when i could. i'll miss the summers where i slept against you. i'll miss decorating our safe houses. there are so many choices nowadays, and it's hard. at least my life is restricted to the tower, i can't imagine how intense it is for you. i got to make choices in hydra, as limited as they wore. you didn't.

i've tried to make allies of the avengers. steve rogers shares facts about you — your middle name is buchanan? — but i understand he won't tell me everything, as is his right. tony stark says his father, howard stark, told stories of you (why do i know that name?) and rogers in his youth.

i feel conflicted on you having a name. i'm unsurprised, in retrospect, but i never thought of it. you were just the winter soldier.

hawkeye (clint barton) says i'm growing up. that part of growing up is a change in perspective, and finding out who you are outside of your family. i guess we're both growing up, then.

i miss you. i want you here. i want you to abandon your "self-discovery" and come back. i want you to stay. i wish you never walked away. i wish you never got assigned that mission. that we could still be in hydra, protected and valuable and together.

despite the struggles of adjusting to modern life, i'm learning a lot. there's a thing called incense, which is similar to a candle, but produces wispy smoke. i like it. i've learned how rain looks through a window. i've spent nights with the avengers and their allies, their conversations fading in the background as i watched the night sky. i've heard laughter, read so many books, and watched this film series called twilight.

i'd appreciate a reply. any post office will do. natasha romanoff only had one of her contacts deliver it due to the need for discretion. speaking of, did you know she was also in the red room? maybe we spent mutual enhancement sessions with her.

that's all for now. i may send another letter, if there is anything to write and you haven't told natasha's contact you don't wish to receive letters from me. i understand if you want to leave me in the past. with this letter, i've added a pack of incense in a scent i like, a small notebook of cooking/baking recipes i've liked, a small stuffed animal (said to bring comfort), and a copy of "the lord of the rings" (the sequel to the hobbit, i've been told you liked it.)

revenant.

okay okay so its called the crossroads bc idk but not as in “im in a crossroads” but like. crossing roads. and so all of my bestest friends from all my drs are there and its a beach town and it has all my favorite stores (for free mind you) and i have an art studio bc theres loke a building where we all habe our separate rooms so teresa has a study and minho has a gym and i have an art studio and bucky has idk actually ^_^

so we all live in a cul-de-sac but just the teens and theres a community center in the middle or at the entrance idk i havent thought too hard about it and then all the adults live in town (which isnt far anyways). and the crossroads itself is a little sentient bc it can make walks or time feel faster or shorter and can delay or kickstart a sunrise or sunset and it has little slideshow and whiteboards all over to give us little reminders or a “go this way!!” and can otherwise give you feelings of where to go. and sometimes it tells us we’re going on a field trip and we go somewhere ^_^ and theres a farm around and a pool and the beach and a creek. and in my backyard i have two doors so one of them is to my drs and i know i dont need to walk through the doors but it feels cool but the other door is to places i want to explore !! so i go there and its probablt empty but not scary and i have my ipod and a friend if i so choose but i cant get spooked. so i go to shiz university or belles castle or hogwarts to get a hard start on the layout omfg or to repccuring locations in my dreams!! and the workers around town are actually just people dreaming and so theyre very friendly and helpful and stuff and when they wake up they poof and someone replaces them at their job. and we have brunch and walking trails and fireflies and all good things. also i have my powers but as i would have them now so i can actually practice. and sometimes me and the other teens sneak out and swim at midnight and we have a projecter by the beach where we can watch movies (cough cough sotr) and the good versions of shows (cough stranger things) and all good things. and we habe guest appearances of singers or cool people who are also dreaming when they visit.

and so its all my favorite people i know so the cros and my group and my wckd group and bucky and natasha and agatha and rio and michael and henry and harry and mal and those guys and the council (other dr) and gabe and diana from n2n and i live with them because they make me happy but diana is on the right meds dwdw and she makes pancakes skemtjmes but nromally we have breakfast as a big group. and me and the other teens go to school but its fun and we can do sxhool outside if we want and we do musicals to show for everyone. and matthias has trassel who is very important to him and agatha has senor scratchy and i have alll my pets except two of them bc they arent my favorites ever so

and also we dknt have streetlights maybe bc there are fireflies and the moon but sometimes you can hear songs echoing? like abba especially and moody but good-moody songs and hozier and all that good stuff and the crossroads posts the playlist on our phones just in case. and our phones arent smart per se they have texting and pinterest and music and a camera but like a good camwra and the moon looks amazing and it always captures what ypu want how you want it. and also theres the typewriter app if i want dr help or a certain outfit or if i want someone to come by.also theres an agenda app where the crossrpads has a daily and weekly calander of special events or field trips or birthdays whatever. and maybe it can snow or he fall for a day or week. alsp i can do my shopping there and it gles to my dr. pbviously not how that works but you know what i mean.

gah i love all of them. so its them and me and my bff for eva :3 except my best friend is long distance but we all have a discord server!!! theyre all my best friends but that friend is my bestest friend and yk what thats okay

here are my current options, and i’ll def write more about all of them soon:

laduree academy (intro posted)

it girl (intro pending)

the crossroads (my wr, referenced w no intro)

mcu (intros posted)

maze runner (referenced, no intro)

the first three are a lot simpler in regards to daily life, while the other two realities are very plot-driven. i have a royal school, a fun modern dr, a calm beach town, a superhero dr, and a think-y dr. that’s pretty much everything i need, and not having options within those genres is amazing.

eventually i’ll add on more drs. some of my notion scripts are “in holding”, which means they’re the first ones i’ll re-add. those are as follows:

fame (intro pending)

six of crows (intro posted)

grisha/little palace (intro posted)

fnaf (intro pending)

hogwarts (intro pending)

if i really really want to go to one of these realities, i can always do so — they’re just easy to get indecisive with. i’m shifting to my hogwarts dr near the end of august so i can prepare for the start of term.

i really do think having these limited options will make deciding where to go easier than it was before, i’d spend nights trying to finalize my destination and falling asleep before even setting my intentions.

i also think simplifying my scripts themselves is gonna help. i’ll do a script tour at some point for my mcu/maze runner scripts, but my other scripts are a lot less busy. i’m accepting that i don’t have to script every little thing. i know what i want and what i want is what i’ll get.

so i was really sleepy so idk if i imagined it or we were for real life talking but for context i go with daniel on his book tour (bc i have nothing better to do anyways lol) (hashtag bonded for afterlife), so sometimes i have to stay in a hotel room while he goes out for book tour things. and i do not appreciate it, just in general i dislike being alone at night, even though vampires and night are like bffs.

so i just remember feeling anxious about him leaving for something and he tells me that i’m the scariest thing here as a means of comfort. that armand and louis are who-knows-where, and out of me and him i’m the more vampire-y one. so i have no reason to be worried because i’m the scariest thing on the whole block.

i’ve been turning that over a lot and it feels nice in a weird way. we have very much favorite uncle and niece vibes, and we’re both nosy and love information, and at the end of the day we don’t have anyone else, really.

but that’s a very nice thing :3 again idk if i imagined it or he said it for real but it sure felt like he said it for real

revenant. noun. one that returns after death.

the term "avengers" is more an umbrella term than a distinct group. all of us live in the tower, but some teams get sent out for different missions. i'm part of the revamped avengers (where thor and banner have been swapped out for bucky, sam, and i), the thunderbolts (without alexei), and the young avengers. we manage to not fight each other every day, and we spend most of our collective time in the lounge.

our bonding as a team grew slowly. spilled blood during missions, late-night coffee runs, angry sparring, doing each others makeup before press conferences. we would smile politely during stark parties all night and crash in the living room as soon as the last person left. we'd spend dinners in mutual quiet, help each other with grammar checks on reports, and lived as the only other people we saw in day-to-day life.

when he deemed we were too undersocialized, tony made me and the other young avengers attend a local high school for a month. he named it the "just like us" initiative, in the hopes us attending high school would show the public that we don't have all the answers.

peter still had a partial enrollment in midtown high, so he was exempt. during this trial month, i was placed with all other widows in russian class. i was absorbed into the group easily, and i met two friends there — anya and mila. they understood me more than i thought anyone could.

one heated makeout in the bathroom with anya sealed the deal. i liked her, she liked me, and we formed some psuedo-dating relationship. she was hissy and had a short fuse and was loyal and overprotective, and took a very long while to adjust to no longer being in the red room. she was rescued from the hospital facility, put there for being too violent. she was too good of an asset to lose, even as she got demoted from the etiquette school to the isolated school to the military base. she knew she should've died a very long time ago, just like me.

as the dust finally started to settle, bucky and i got a chance to actually get to know one another. we lived as companions for so long, but now we had interests, and lives, and a sense of self that we never had in hydra. we had a hard adjustment to it, at the start. we were either too close or couldn't get farther apart. we spent a lot of late nights talking or drinking or just sitting there with a shared life. we argued more, and recovered out of a willingness to communicate through our problems. back home in hydra, we would rarely fight — it's hard to argue with a robot — and move past it out of necessity. we moved past the mutual handler/handlee dynamic as much as possible.

i also got to bonding with yelena and natasha more than i did before. natasha was kept at a safe distance for a long time. i didn't know what she could do, and the same went for her. when we dismantled the red room, and subsequently found yelena, we bonded fast and hard. we were all haunted by old ghosts, some wounds fresher than others. the surprising part was that yelena knew me, deep down. she saw me and recognized me. we'd come to learn we were roommates before the chemical subjucation. the sisters reunited with alexei and melina, and i also had weird reunions. turns out i have connections with the entire "rowley" family. i trained with alexei back in the red room, and melina was my first roommate, back in the late 70s. as for natasha, we sparred together a handful of times when the winter soldiers were sent to the red room for "mutual enhancement". aka, they'd fight us and we'd fight them and see who won.

the avengers are doing good now. even though john punches full force when we spar, the avengers tower is full of camarderie and a begrudging fondness for one another. it's like the avengers media team says — we're one big family. if the family consisted of wine aunts and crazy uncles and a near-constant thanksgiving level of chaos.

aaand that's my mcu dr! kinda! that's just the plot really, i'll make another post about like. me. but that's my ties to everyone pretty much. i hope you like the aesthetic of it all!! my revenant pinterest board is the biggest one out of all my dr boards lmao