I Urge You To Please Notice When You Are Happy

but you’ll never see me like my brother did you’ll never need me like my brother did

there’s a black hole in my soul it’s beginning to show through my dilated pupils hidden behind lids half closed i thought that i’d be fine by now but suffering doesn’t die it grows

my strong wont last long.

i was not sent here to put on a show and tell you lots of shit you don’t already know

pretending to be perfect is perfectly fine for all the individuals who are perfectly fine and grew up with money and never fell on hard times and had trust funds and too much fun with their full time dads

WE have NEVER had it easy and fuck you if you dont believe me and fuck me for crying over spilled milk that i never planned on drinking

i’ve been thinking and regretting and accepting and forgetting

and i hope these words find you if you’re in need of some connecting

kids are getting crueler parents working harder mothers with no example of a mother raising daughters

and vice versa for the men raising young men

i am bleeding i am dying i am crying with a pen

i am trying i am finding my way back to him

so when i see a smile

im reminded of my brother im reminded to keep laughing and to love myself and others

im reminded of the times we turned couches and covers

into castles and kingdoms

im reminded of our favorite songs and how loud we would sing them…..

we use to say we would start the Tupac religion….

then our Eminem obsession

fuck man,

nobody else gets it.

im just scratching the surface….

brb.