Strolling Along

Entwining fish. Kunst en samenleving. 1903. Chapter header.

Splendid Fairywren (Malurus splendens), family Maluridae, order Passeriformes, Australia

Nasturtiums -  Stanisław Wyspiański , 1903.

Polish , 1869-1907

You don't need to diminish yourself in order to make others feel good about themselves.

You can compliment someone else without insulting yourself. In fact, demeaning yourself will probably make it more difficult for the other person to accept the compliment.

You also don't need to disparage your own abilities in order to give someone else confidence. You can be a capable person and support other capable people.

Compliment: You write such great angst! I was in tears after that last chapter. Compliment + self-insult: I could never write angst like you. Mine never has that gut-punch that yours does.

Compliment: You look gorgeous! That's such a pretty colour on you. Compliment + self-insult: I wish I had your fashion sense. I just wear whatever smells clean.

Compliment: This piece is awe-inspiringly good! How long did it take you?? Compliment + self-insult: Your art is so much better than mine. I could practice for a million years and never get close to this.

The thing about insulting yourself while complimenting someone else is that you might think that you're making your compliment sound that much better because you're increasing the distance between their level and yours. But what you're actually doing is refocusing your compliment away from them and onto you and your insecurities.

Maybe they'll notice and maybe they won't, but you will. Eventually, all of the insults you've given yourself will make you feel bad about that other person's skills and now, instead of a mentor or a colleague you have someone you're jealous of. Or at least, that's how it tends to go for me.

Common ragwort

Ma-ia ho

Ma-ia ha

Alo?

sunt eu

THE TIME WARP

Dr. Gladys West. 1930 to 2026.

Born on a Virginia farm during the Jim Crow era, Dr West became one of only four Black employees at the Naval Surface Warfare Center in 1956 and the second Black woman ever hired there.

The mathematician's calculations quietly became the backbone of GPS technology used by billions of people every single day. The world has navigated by her work for decades before it learned her name. That's the kind of legacy that doesn't need a spotlight to be real. It just is.

We honor Dr. West and the long line of Black women who built the future while the world looked the other way🤎