something to believe in..

all those emotions are necessary to keep his flock where he needs them to be  . though nuri doesn’t need the bliss to keep him in falling right in step behind his apostle  .  no ,  its a love that runs so deep into near obsession and he’d care more if it wasn’t as useful as it is  . he’s die protecting paul  ,  he’d do what it took to do his bidding without question and there’s a certain level of WORSHIP that goes into his affection for paul  .  

he follows orders flawlessly as he sits there on his knees ,  even paul knows that even the best laid plans can run astray  . his disappointment in the disciple is more than just his failure  ,  its the frustration at the situation but someone must pay for the shortcomings  .  fingers reach to caress the line of a strong jaw before they disappear into thick head of dark hair to pull it back so nuri’s chin tilts up toward the apostle  .  the other begins to speak and paul listens without interrupting  .  he gravels and it leaves a smirk on the face of the herald almost like a drug he needs  ,  he inhales deeply  .  

fingers loosen on the hair and paul steps away ,  his steps venture around nuri once more to the dresser behind him where the BLISS incense await  .  he knows that nuri doesn’t need it and neither does he but the SENSATION is intoxicating  .  so he lights it ,  lets it fill the room in a haze for a few moments  . its not enough to completely control someone but just a dose to fog the mind to let inhibitions fade away  . not that he has any  .  

❝  quiet now … ❞ paul demands while turning around to take the steps towards nuri again  .  his fingers disappear into that luscious head of hair again to tug a little firmer  .  ❝ i want you to stand  .  take the few steps forward to the bed and lay flat on your stomach  .  careful , no tripping  .  ❞ there will be lessens taught but pleasure … pain  … expiation  .  can all be one in the same  .  its how PEACE can be made . ❝ tell me WHY i should forgive you  .  tell me WHY you aren’t just a waste of my time  .  GOD has granted us access to the gates of EDEN and your shortcomings might be the misdeeds of what ends of us all  .  ❞

Devotion so deep? Nuri would do all of those things and more for his Apostle. His Paul. The one whose name he whispers like a prayer and the one who he loves so deeply it’s embedded into his soul. As much as his soul is his own anymore. He’s unsure how little of it he has left that hasn’t been placed into Paul’s hands already. “Without you, I would be lost. Please believe me. I never mean to let you down..” 

Eyes brim red at their edges. “I love you,” his head easily tilts back as a hand runs through his thick hair. Goosebumps run down his spine. The smirk HURTS but there’s a level of okay with that. More than okay. He’ll take whatever Paul might give him. No matter if it’s ache in his chest or warmth. Oh but he lives for those times when the warmth comes. Prayers, devotion on his knees? Are the price he’ll pay and he’ll pay it willingly.

Nuri’s eyes lower as Paul walks away. He doesn’t turn to follow his path. Instead, his jaw flinches and he licks his lips. “I’ll do better,” his voice cracks. The scent of the incense fills his nose and with it comes the soft coiling of the BLISS through his senses. Paul’s voice has that quiet echo in it and he silences immediately, fingers twitching to life against his knees and the sensation it ripples through him pushes a small sigh through parted lips.

Letting out a small cry, not from pain but from surprise, Nuri stands and the small sway of his body is only a ripple of the sweet smell filling his nose. Without hesitation, he’s crawling onto the bed and laying flat on his stomach. Not even the smallest protest given. His head lifts, eyes round as though he’s been slapped and his gaze fills with a deep sadness. Face fallen, he looks up at his Apostle as wet splashes into the corners of his eyes. 

think of it as a sort of punishment  .  one that comes with far too many sensations but pleasure and pain can coexist  .  they both know it  .  the apostle is frustrated , angry , and fed up but THIS is how he relieves that tension and nuri is all too willing to allow the apostle to vent those strong emotions in this way  .  how he’ll have his way but there are steps  .  he is very particular in his ritual of giving himself to someone  ,  even nuri  .  

stripped down and on his knees  ,  paul digs into his the top drawer of his dresser  , only a glance back at his lover does he check to make sure the disciple hasn’t moved  . he still has his knees pressed into the wood flooring and his chin dipped between his shoulders  . the sight spawns a smile as he finally finds what he’s looking for  .  the blindfold to obscure sight from sin  .  ❝ you may not look upon me tonight  .  ❞

with the fabric in his hands ,  paul finds his stride and closes the distance between himself and nuri’s back  . one hand reaches out to grip tightly to the broad shoulder and he finds his disciple trembling  .  anticipation? fear ? oh how magnificent would it be for both  ??  ❝  easy  ,  my love  . ❞ he sets the blindfold in place over nuri’s eyes and ties it at the back and when he’s done he’ll press his lips to his ear  .  

❝ in the morning , we’ll repent for our LUST but for now you follow my lead and it’ll be far less traumatic  .  this is punishment enough  .  your sight being taken , but the sensations will drive you insane  .  ❞ nuri’s breath is quickening and he’s clenching his fists at his sides and the sight of him  ??  well … there’s definitely excitement displaying for his apostle  . desperation is peeking through when the disciple speaks ,  his tone coming out in more of a whimper  .  

“i need to feel you.”  he pleads but it paul shaking his head and circling around to the front  . ❝  you cannot touch  ,  not until i say  … now before we begin … you need to pray , nuri  .  pray to be forgiven  . your soul is weak and i’m going to help heal it  .  ❞ 

Need. Want. Love. Fear. The lines have long ago blurred. Became some sort of jagged blend mixed with Paul’s own hands until Nuri only knows one thing; Paul is all that matters. He needs him. In every way. Wants his approval. His love. His adoration. His WRATH. He’ll take every drip of Paul he’s given. Like a man dying of thirst in the desert and handed a teaspoon full of water.

Instructed not to lift his head. Not to move from his knees no matter how long it took. Until he was released from them. He kneels. Head down and his body betraying him by the slightest shake to his limbs. He sees it. Through the strips of dangling hair. His hands tremble and they won’t stop. You may not look upon me tonight. Nuri has to fight instinct to do exactly that.

The shaking. How goosebumps dance from Paul’s hand like fireworks. The way his Adam’s apple bobs painfully. His breath halts until his lungs burn. Both. It’s both and he can’t help biting into his tongue. Those eyes are what bring him out of the dark. Even now. After all Paul’s done while staring deep into his. Those eyes bring him home and what will he do without them to stare into during THIS? --He’ll find out. Won’t he?

My love and Nuri’s heart melts. He stays steady as the cloth is being placed about his face though the hue of his skin drains a shade. REPENT. His teeth bite into his bottom lip at the insinuation of what that means. He knows what it means. In spite of that? He stiffens painfully between his legs as that voice circls around him and he can’t---can’t help but whimper his need to feel his Apostle.

@eric-raleigh  || prompts that don’t sound like porn! ||  accepting!!

@memoryhallowed​ || prompts that don’t sound like porn! ||  accepting!!

                his anger is heightened  .  its fire and hell and boiling over the edges that he might just explode  .  but he CANNOT allow that to happen  .  everything is going so chaotically wrong that even joseph is beginning to seeth  . not outwardly but the observant apostle can tell  .  they are the CALM ones  .  where jacob and john are the war , joseph and paul are the peace with faith tending to be the balance in between them  . right now though all paul wants is to make them pay and his disciple is disappointing  . 

❝  you need me ??  Nuri … . oh dear nuri  …  ❞  paul closes the distance on his disciple and presses a hand to his chest  .  the anger is still threatening and it shows in the tight tension in the fingers pressed against nuri  . ❝  then you need to SHOW me that i need you  .   this SINNER cannot roam freely  .  they’ve destroyed too much  .  struck down our brothers and sisters  .  everything is on fire and THEY ARE TO BLAME  .  take as many people as you need but they need to be stopped  .  ❞

there are no emotions to be read on the apostle’s face despite the tranquility still present  .  he’s as peaceful as he always is , no matter the fury bubbling just underneath  . he’s been kidnapped and injured  ,  at least he manipulated his way out of that way pretending to know nothing of what his brothers have done  .  and they will PAY  .   THEY WILL ALL PAY .  with god’s vengeance will rain down on them all and only then will their sin be demolished  .  all through the hands of this faithful disciple  .  ❝  do not disappoint me again  . ❞ 

Nuri has to swallow around his own anger as he feels it threatening to boil over inside of him. Anger at himself. At the deputy. Even THE FATHER who is putting him through this cat and mouse game of chase but not kill. Where Paul wants nothing more than to have this nuisance taken care of before it end sup threatening their very way of life. Or their lives in general. Which it already has. This insolent ASSHOLE that he has to keep darting around and yet..not touching. Never touching. Only corralling him towards some destination that Joseph wants him to be.

The brothers, though? The brothers. They see. They all see what threat is lurking and what is going to happen. Why can’t he do what he NEEDS to do and swat this gnat for the very last time? Because he’s instructed not to. Not by Paul. Not by John or Jacob but THE FATHER who will not see nor open his eyes to the truth that this deputy will end them all. And yet he can say nothing. Only stare in a building sense of PANIC and FEAR of Paul’s disappointment. Of Paul’s cold eyes and how they take his heart and shred it to pieces when they look at him that way. Each time it leaves him in tatters. He’s not sure how many more times he can piece himself back together again without going against what THE FATHER says.

I know of heaven by the line at its gate and I hear that the Kingdom is not far away so come drink the water if you wanna be saved an’ all God’s people ….said amen.

// any naughty stuff on all my blogs can be blocked by blocking the phrase tw: ooh la la. they’re always under read mores without question. cause i like to be considerate to everybody while still enjoying stuff with my partners! ya dig? but this is an extra step for you to truly not see anything whatsoever if that’s not your bag! browse and tumblr safely, my friends. i love ya. 

@peacefulapostle​ || prompts that don’t sound like porn! || 10. for an argument to turn into sex

@peacefulapostle​​ || soft fluff || “Everything about you is so easy to love.”

They’re sitting on the porch and the morning’s barely started. Fog coats the grounds around them. Leaves barely beginning to bloom in the earliest part of spring. Nuri’s legs dangle over the edge and he’s bent forward. Arms crossed on the length of a banister and his chin resting down against them. It’s peaceful. Such a change from Savannah and Atlanta where he finished college before going in search of Paul to offer him a life that he wanted to build from the ground up. Together. Like they always deserved to be.

Things didn’t turn out that way. The scars and tattoos on his body, etched in at the hands of Paul’s brothers. One with a needle and knife. The other from training before even looked Paul in the eye. A sacrifice of pain and blood to the future they now have. A vow pleaded to the heaven at the feet of the Father. Would he take it back? Any of it? Only if he could take Paul with him. And, yet, strangely enough? He can’t imagine leaving here now. 

Perhaps this is the future they were always meant to have. Where he can protect Paul from anyone who might bring him harm. Including himself. ANYONE. The blood in his hands is always washed clean. No matter what Paul knows of him now. There’s no judgement. Only love. Love. And love. Arms wrap around his stomach. Paul’s legs appear against the outsides of his thighs. He feels a kiss press to the back of his neck and a whisper hit his ear. Paul’s voice sends a chill up his spine and he can’t help but turn his chin against his wrists enough to peek down at the hands holding his chest so snugly.