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@necrodancers-crypt

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I DONT CARE HOW MANY BEDS THERE WERE. WHAT IS YOUR BOOK ABOUT
(tearfully) w- working at the mattress store
i'm so fucking sorry. can you ever forgive me
god if there was a book of forbidden spells I wouldnāt even hesitate
"only 90s kids remember-" wrong, if you're poor and/or rural enough, old tech and fashion doesn't just disappear when it stops being trendy. We had dial-up until 2012
āHave a great dayā is good and well,
āHope your favorite niche series gets a second seasonā is fresh and exciting

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hi my name is dark yagami and my goal is to give birth to billions of people
hi any life advice for 21yo
Don't date thirty-year-olds until you are at least 25.
Having a glass of water for every glass of alcohol will give you a 50% reduction in hangover viciousness.
Bad people will use your willingness to be quiet as a weapon against you. If someone's being awful to you and trusting you'll be quiet to keep from making waves, surprise them.
There is no physical object in the world that is worth as much as your honor.
Honor is not the same as dignity. Retaining one sometimes means leaving the other aside.
Don't have any sex you don't want to have; have as much as you want of the sex that you do, whether that's a lot, a little, or none at all. Nothing you can do to your own body is immoral, unless you're doing it as an act of self-punishment.
Food is morally neutral. You do not have to earn the right to eat calories. Fat and sugar keep your brain from eating itself.
Learning to sit still and breathe--in, in, in, hold, hold, hold, out, out, out, out, out, out--can give you five feet of clear space around yourself in a maelstrom.
Find out how to make three good meals: A comfort meal you can make for just yourself relatively easily, a fancy meal you can use to wow a date, and a meal you can feed a bunch of people. All the other cooking can come later, but you can build a community on those three meals.
If you ever get to the point that things are so bleak you can see no other way forward but to die, make any other choice. If that means leaving everything you own and being a beach bum, or quitting your career, or taking up or leaving a religion, or deciding to bicycle across the country, so be it; living means more chances, dying means everything stops and you don't get to see any more interesting things. As you have not yet seen all the things that can interest you, it is better to live.
Not my usual post style but I WISH someone gave me this advice at 21. Now I'm nearly 30 and I'm grateful to have came across this post now rather than even later on in life.
If you're in the stage transitioning into adulthood (18-23) PLEASE take note of these, they are CRUCIAL (especially #1). People WILL take advantage of you if they see an opportunity to do so. Don't lose your whimsy, love yourself, but protect yourself also.
The Chinese shoe manufacturer decided to demonstrate the indestructibility of their shoes
And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles
fingers on my temples, in deep concentration, brain bulging: if i was a supermarket, where would i put the eggs?
divinity kink in less of a "fuck me in a nun habit" way and more of a "put me on my knees and rewrite my understanding of faith and show me what a loving god's hand feels like and give me mercy and wrath and splendor and leave your communion dripping from my lips and teach me how every part of my body was meant to worship you"

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Chat, is it considered āabusive roommate behaviorā to release a raccoon into the living space after you have asked your roommate for months to please clean up their messes (they do not pay any of the mortgage)
For context, when I used to live alone I would do something called āPrincess Timeā where I would do an initial sweep (to remove any significant hazards) and then I would release a raccoon into the living area and clean. This helped because I would 1) feel like a princess and 2) the raccoon would bring attention to things my ADHD brain had decided to ignore and Iād quickly clean that stuff up.
So like, if Iām expected to clean the house now, I will be doing it in the way that is most effective for me. And anything that has not been cleaned up after months of having sit-down talks and sending reminders and being promised things will change, might be deemed ātrashā by the trash panda and thrown away.
We havenāt done since we moved into the house, because I didnāt want to cause my roommate or their cats destress or have their things destroyed by a raccoon
I am a raccoon biologist and one of the few people in the state allowed to take in captive bred raccoons that had been possessed illegally. The raccoon in the photos is Moonshine, but she is currently at the animal sanctuary where I work as I had been quarantining multiple new intakes from an abuse case. I still have two males (Rum Tum Tugger and Electra) left in my home enclosure as we are getting them neutered and then hopefully sending them to an AZA accredited zoo.
I wanna make things very clear that underneath all the whimsy, I am a trained professional.
Those vibes are likely because Iām the original creator of Dashcon and my personality has not changed since 2012 lmao
RIP Alex Jones who popped like a balloon in his car.
To all the haters who say he's actually still alive, I got my news from a reputable source:
literally announced on infowars. infowars made by alex jones. this is reputable due to the creator being the subject of it. farewell alex jones
RIP Alex Jones
every bad thing in the entire world is due to the dark sorcerer if we just kill the dark sorcerer i bet everything will be amazing something amazing will happen
guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

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hey, I was just at "things got better" island and everyone there is talking about how excited they are to meet you
Hey yeah so this post literally kept me alive for like 6 months. Thank you. And OP is so right. Everyone on this island became my best friends. And guess what? Now they can't wait to meet *you* and they talk about you every single day.
Imagine if sometimes some fucking TĢ·ĶĶ ĶĢ̦̔hĢøĢ ĶĢĢiĢøĶĢĢĢ̩̮nĢøĶĢĶĶĢ̰ĢĶĶgĢøĶ̮̻Ķ̼̬ could just crash through the shimmering veil of reality with a trail of fragments from the suffocating void enveloping it, grab whoever's unlucky enough to be closest, and swoop back out like it was nothing. And this was just one of your everyday hazards to worry about. Incredible cosmic horror concept