=)

a pit of dread forms in your stomach as you parse my "evil baby on board" decal and realize you have a moral duty to rear end my vehicle as hard as you can

Please take my white ass to anor londo

*grabs you with my long gargoyle-like arms and flies off witj you*

Oh thank god hold me tight you scary motherfucker

Spent the day with regirock. He's a fantastic guy. Great sense of humor and also 200 physical defense

“Even a slightly increased possibility of summoning rain is still an ability to summon rain” is such a good point

"i want a guy who can make it rain to be my sugar baby. no i mean literal rain. i already have the dosh"

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

the enemy drank water today. did you?

i drank water three days ago. im several steps ahead of the enemy. this is what it takes to win

i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat

i literally love saying "ON IT BOSS!!!!!" whenever someone asks me to do something like i'm some sort of henchman. it doesn't matter if they're my boss or not for real even because in the moment they are, and whatever they requested of me i'm on it

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

This is what having auditory processing issues is like.