=)

I think as your job satisfaction gets lower and lower you should gain access to an increasingly broad and powerful suite of forbidden magic

Remember when I was going crazy 5 minutes ago [chuckle of fond remembrance] amazing how time changes people

Remember when 10 year old girls used to wear happy bunny t shirts that just said shit like “I’m going to skin you alive”

If a fantasy world has an ancient tree of wisdom, that means it must also have young trees that are dumb as shit. Just giving terrible advice like, "the evil wizard is kinda hot"'

i'm wasting my life on the computer when i could be living my life to the fullest on the computer

all i need is a sweet treat. and six thousand dollars

me to the accursed whispering amulet: hey can you speak up please i have an audio processing disorder

they've yet to make an experience more bewildering and confusing than trying to pick up a rpg after more than a week

I brought 2 cans of Dr. Pepper to a friend's party and we poured them into a saucepan to make hot Dr. Pepper, but it turned out we didn't like hot Dr. Pepper so we decided to keep it on the burner and reduce it down to Dr. Pepper syrup and then mixed that with soda water to make reconstituted Dr. Pepper, which it turned out we also didn't like

A daring chess strategy called the Scheming Chancellor, wherein you move as few of your pieces as needed before moving your king directly into enemy fire, letting your opponent reach check mate without losing a single other piece.

i love to be the most laidback customer to ever grace an establishment. comrade i will wait one william years for your goods and services