Carefree Maroon

After Trump’s election four years ago, I sat in front of this very mirror at home in Long Island to capture that moment of reflection I was experiencing.

An alarm sounded off in me to get my shit together because a storm was coming. At the time I felt so incomplete. I was 26, but still stagnating in adolescence. But things changed rapidly after taking that photo and stating my aspirations to the…

This has been the most contrasted few weeks of my goddamned life.

To hit a pinnacle moment career wise, but to also have to finally face my personal insecurities has been some complex shit. I’ve been wondering why I believe I’ll win an Oscar one day – and yet even with that kind of optimism I’ve never really believed I’ll ever achieve true love in my life.

I believe I’ll win an Oscar more than…

On finding the link back to my own sources of love and safety.

For a while now, I’ve been meditating on this question, “At which point/moment in my life did I feel the most safety? At which moment did I feel the most loved?”

The memory came back to me last night. For me, it was when I was a child laying on my mother’s chest. Hearing her heartbeat and her lungs inflate. Retiming my breaths so it could match hers. Feeling her laughter form from within while…

This quote resonates with me because I’m filled with characters not yet realized. Sometimes I think the exact same thing, especially growing up with so many ppl in medicine whose children chose that or law or engineering.

For so long I thought I was useless because I excelled in nothing mathematic nor scientific. The only thing I did well was wonder. I wondered why people behaved the way they…

I was on twitter this morning and it brought to my attention that today is #WorldMentalHealthDay. I read this tweet from Hadi Kondabolu and it resonated with me.

It felt like this past Sunday, I exited a months-long (lowkey lifelong) relentless depression. Yes I had good days in between and moments of achievement in my career and my physical appearance is improving, but in general I’ve been…

I, and so many, are currently walking with so much internalized rage due to the direction this country has taken because of the fact that we had a progressive black president. We live and function with so much rage.

I was borne into a world that told me we were Martin Luther King’s dream come true. That finally, after centuries of systemic torture, we lived in a post racial society. I was raised…

Today I began to worry. What if I’m a fraud, the thoughts start very small. I still need to confirm the Halloween shoot and Catwoman costume, the photo series, the podcast. I still need to renew my car insurance & registration, Beyoncé tickets, rent. I felt the sadness ignite in me – how do I pull this all off?  It got worse when a boy left me on seen. It must mean he doesn’t like me.

So I’m…

Have You Ever Got Thru A Storm & Went APESHIT?

I’m not even gunna bullshit y’all. I’ve been dealing with depression for the past two months and I’ve recently been coming out of it. 

I had an epiphany this past week during my visit back home to New York.  I always knew that although I’m eloquent and can hold interesting conversations, I can’t seem to express my emotions. Especially not in my time of need or darkest hour. Instead I just…

I’m Surrounded By Hoes

I just want a man who knows his worth. There’s so many hoes out here.  I don’t want men who are just freely give their dick away while demanding the benefits of a husband. I don’t respect them and in no way do I wish to burden my life with them.

When it comes to my last situation I admit that I made a fool out of myself. To my disbelief, I fell in love with a hoe. I don’t think men have any idea…

On the contrast of two geniuses. What happens when giants fall or rise under the racial terror of America.

Let me just set the tone of this piece with a smooth Kanye can go fuck himself. We have a real genius in the building, totes forgot what that even looked like. Thanks for the refresher Donald! Confidence is being comfortable in your skin and speaking truth to power not just being an arrogant asshole oh yeeeeah…

So this past week I’ve witnessed the final descent of an artist who once inspired me…

Utopia is African. You Will Want Us to Sit At Your Table.

I just wanted to start off with…in a little over three weeks Black Panther has made over $1,000,000,000 and counting in the global box office. I’m weary of celebrating, but I’ll do my best… 

I am just sitting here thinking about how magnificent Black people are. I just read an article about a package explosionthat killed two black people in Austin, Texas. And I’m just like, “Man we’ve got…

"It's all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit." - Eartha Kitt 

“It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit.” – Eartha Kitt  Last year on Valentine’s Day 2017, I found myself giving into the season and longing for love and I just was not comfortable with that feeling. I made it a mission to make myself more vulnerable and available to…

How did we romanticize Big & Carrie? He was problematic AF!

I recently re-watched Sex and the City and I gotta say that although it stands as a classic the show isn’t aging well. First of all I could go on about the fashion because HOLY SHIT. Remember back in the day when Carrie Bradshaw/Sarah Jessica Parker was hailed as a fashion icon? Maaan I was watching that shit cringing the whole time. But we can all agree that the 2000s will go down in history as…

Everything America stands for is now exposed & crumbling. Its time to reclaim our dreams...

Do you feel that? That old familiar pain re-emerging from the crevices of your DNA? It was once so easy to believe what others told me to be true about America growing up. That this was a space of opportunity. I was the outcome of a dream believed by someone who was allowed the opportunity to prosper. I was borne into a dream many believed she was probably crazy to believe in.  The naive little…

Bih look what you made ME do. Peep his flame session that got ya girl outta retirement...

I’m like a week late watching Taylor Swiftless snitch on herself I know, I know. But I love myself a lot so why would I be in a rush to watch this bullshit? It’s eternally #TeamSelfCare all day ’round here bruh. Before I begin this flame session, for all my masochists outchea you can watch this dumpster fire here… but I promise you family. You are better off saving the four minutes and sixteen…

I'm at a crossroads y'all.

I know I’m a good writer but I feel like I’m going to be the cause of my own demise. This medium takes discipline, something I don’t have. As soon as I think that I’ve finally gained stride and conquered my habit of being inconsistent here I am again. Weeks and months without any body of writing. I fear failure so much that I might just create a self fulfilling prophecy. Don’t choke, I part of me…