hoc salsum esse putas?

I am, like, a long running proponent of the "eat something and you'll feel better" crowd and am often one of the first people to suggest "maybe it's time for a snack before I get whipped into a frenzy" but I really do resent how instantaneous it is. like it'll feel like I'm having my worst day in months and then I'll start eating and literally before I even finish I'm like oh yeah the world is beautiful

I fear a lot of people learned to take good care of library books as children and instead of internalizing "leave shared community items as you found them as much as possible, because other people will use them too" they internalized "printing and binding a book imbues it with sacred energy and if you dog-ear a mass-market paperback you're desecrating the entire concept of written language"

Just came home from a dinner party with the friendgroup at which several people kept saying "Ask Pedro" or "Pedro will know" and I was terrified that they were referring to an AI like Claude but no, thank fuck, they were referring to a cardboard cutout of Pedro Pascal that someone left upstairs and who has been designated a kind of patron saint status in the household.

“there’s an ai tool for that” okay ?? there’s probably an ed sheeran song for it too who gives a fuck

My boyfriend was on lunch duty at his school yesterday and a little boy came up to him and asked him about his tattoos. When he got to the one of Bigfoot getting beamed up by aliens, the boy said “Were you born in Seattle?” And my boyfriend goes “……yes?” And the little boy knowingly goes “yeah I can tell”

Not only am I agnostic about a god, I am agnostic about most supernatural phenomenon. Do ghosts exist? I dunno, definitely had more personal experiences with them than I have had with god. Does magic exist? Maybe, in a way, I don’t know. Getting rid of absolutes and debbie downer behavior has improved my life immensely.

Get enough sleep get enough fiber get enough iron wear sunscreen every moment of every day dont get dehydrated don’t slouch brush perfectly floss too keep your tires full of air get your oil changed check your brakes and alignment get new tires get your yearly inspection get your yearly pelvic exam remember your flu and covid shot research the candidates for district attorney take your recycling to the curb on the right day try to limit red meat, alcohol, ultra processed food, sugar and sitting down don’t use screens before bed exercise constantly you’re not socializing or being touched enough meditate daily make sure your clothes are constantly acceptable wash your hair before there’s even a hint of grease don’t have any unsightly hair anywhere don’t drink foo much coffee or sugary drinks or carbonated drinks or anything with citric acid or your teeth will rot change your sheets every few days and your pillowcases daily and you should be also throwing out your pillows every year or two apparently don’t use any kind of cutting board due to the unique drawbacks of each available kind walk 15 min after every meal don’t eat right after brushing but also don’t brush thirty minutes after eating yet somehow brush your teeth every morning and be on time for work also and make sure you’re weight training and make sure you’re doing everything you can to prevent eventual osteoporosis and arthritis moisturize your skin every day keep your prescriptions filled try to avoid being stressed at all costs because it’s the silent killer prioritize your mental health but don’t let any of these habits slip and don’t lose your important documents and keep the batteries in your carbon monoxide detector fresh and deep clean your fridge often and clean your entire house often and exchange pleasantries with every acquaintance and keep yourself polished and presentable at work and stretch before bed every night and buy new kitchen sponges when they wear out and make sure you have laundry detergent and dish soap and olive oil and only eat healthy fats and make sure you’re doing everything to prevent the skyrocketing rates of colon cancer in young people and soak all your berries so that they actually get clean and wash all your produce and buy organic so you aren’t ingesting four million pesticides and avoid animal products but also eat a lot of lean meat and dairy for the protein and eat 30g of protein at every meal and prioritize whole grains and complex carbohydrates and moderate your sugar intake and replace your toothbrush every six months and your running shows every 90 miles clean your car out often and make sure no one smashes your tail light in the parking lot and keep a printout of your up to date proof of insurance in your glovebox even if you don’t own a printer and put a sizeable portion of each paycheck into retirement portfolio replace your windshield wipers and close your kitchen down every night and eat two servings of dark leafy greens per day and do all of this and still get enough rest so that you’re able to give the 40 hour workweek your all. And if you fail to do any of these things you’re a disgusting failure slob

really losing my patience for any 'feminist' statement to the tune of 'we need feminism because women fill a fundamentally different and necessary role than men and will be better at doing x y or z'. like actually i think we need feminism because it is an unbearable death of the spirit by inches to exist in a world where you are not seen as a fully realized human being because of a single cultural determination, and because a world that enshrines such things creates systems that are fundamentally sick to the core

Literally nobody I know knows Gayle Waters-Waters despite how much she has contributed to society and meme culture. Get rid of the couches. We can’t let people know we sit. Was anyone gonna tell me x or was I supposed to read it in x myself. That gif of her in the kitchen breaking a board with her head. Her mad dash from the house that ends with her jump kicking her mailbox off

you ever meet someone and it's just like oh wow this person needs a visit from the divorce fairy

waiting for my nails to dry affords me the perfect opportunity to do the dishes and organize my sandpaper and steel wool collection and synthesize acetone