gorpcore

.God in the last few weeks I've just been so so fucking angry about what I've learned about how birth control can render mood stabilizers inefficient and how much needless suffering i endured. Like complete debilitation and severe suicidality because they just prescribe BC for everything. It's super irresponsible and I understand why people seek it out for reproductive autonomy reasons however I think that the way it's pushed as the only solution to so many issues is kind of like throwing a grenade into your endocrine system because you trust that the doctor (an authority figure) knows it's safe and it will help. For me when I went to the OBGYN and reported severe mental health complications from my implant she was like, ok, so now we're going to add the patch and see of that helps!! And I left feeling like I was going to vomit from distress and I made an appointment at planned parenthood to get the implant removed because I was concerned for my life. And then only later I found out randomly through a coincidental internet post that I NEVER should have been prescribed that. And it's just so so so so fucking frustrating that they don't know fucking ANYTHING and the fact that a simple test for endometriosis is being introduced in 2026 is amazing. But it's also bare minimum and should have happened decades ago. And I don't have endometriosis or PCOS but im so angry on behalf of all the mistreatment of ppl who have had those conditions and been subjected to trusted professionals who have harmed them even with best intentions.

But anyways when I think about the severe extreme difficulties of my past year and how it could have been so much easier if someone had just bothered to learn about BC's contraindications I could have just.....idk i cant even really sum it up into words, I've just been so so so angry at the drop of a hat since finding it out and im so angry that I had to go with my gut instinct against medical advice for something that turned out to be completely correct. And it was NOT what the trained professionals advised me to do!! I was in SEVERE crisis from it!! And I think im maybe way more angry and triggered by this because of my long history with medical trauma bc of all my treatments that I could not consent to in adolescence and how invasive and traumatising they were, like this is nottttttttt virgin territory for me so it makes everything worse but idk. Idk. The fact that I was prescribed SSRIs for so many years only to find out they were essentially poisoning my neurochemistry and I should have been on mood stabilizers the whole time!!! And then to be dragged through months and years of invasive and traumatising programs because of how the ssris affected me and kept me in agony & nonfunctional when I didnt want to be on them in the first place!! Idk I just have come to so much harm from the medical system and I am so extremely wary of trusting any medical professional ever again and it's so angering and exhausting. And ive been grappling with that anger a lot in the past few weeks. Ok the end

Actually not the end it's just like that's why it's so hilarious when ppl are like you should try therapy ! Bc they mean the best but ultimately ive suffered so much from misapplied mental health treatment that I am never going through that again god bless.