PHENOMENA,

isco  is genuinely surprised that her guard does down so soon. he wasn’t expecting her to be understanding of his feelings so fast, not when he’s sure that daphne already put her up to speed on how much he’d hurt her. no matter how close he and naomi are, he knows that daphne is right to feel every way that she feels and that he’s the one to blame for their relationship not working out. he wouldn’t even hold it against naomi if she did choose daphne over him when it came to all of this because the way he handled everything made everything worse for them. isco pushes some of his hair off his face, letting out a shaky breath and for a moment thinks about staying silent. but he can’t help but think that she’s giving him a chance to say what he’s really feeling and he won’t take it for granted. “i keep fucking up, naomi. i just keep—sabotaging myself and every single thing that makes me happy and i don’t fucking know why. i can’t even put this on my relapse or my drug addiction. i chose to lie to her for my own benefit, naomi. this can’t be who i really am. i refuse to be this person.” he immediately wipes the tears that threaten to fall down his cheeks, his eyes still focused ahead. “ i just don’t know how to make it stop hurting—”

it’s not that the anger in naomi has died. it’s still there, but it’s an ember burning quietly now and not the flames that had always threatened to engulf everyone when her temper flared. there’s still some residual hurt lingering that had settled in her months ago when she realized that he had left without a word, worrying her and daphne beyond belief. all to get comfort in the arms of luci. but this wasn’t about her. she knows that if they’re silent long enough, he’ll speak again and her suspicion is confirmed as his tone lingers heavy between them. “ it is who you are right now. but maybe that’s not who you have to be. ” she was always going to be brutally honest, especially with him, and now was no exception. she didn’t reach out to him like she usually would, her hands in her lap and her gaze straight out. “ you’ve told daph everything. i think, anyways. now, you just have to wait. ” the mention of his drug addiction takes her off guard for a minute. she knows that he’s always been careful around the party scene but he had never told her. “ is that why you went to luci? ”

Ethan made his way into the kitchen behind Naomi stopping only to flick on some music having had enough silence for one night. He then eyed a bottle of tequila leftover from the pregame and reached for it, quick to throw back the liquor and allow himself one more shot of liquid courage before Naomi approached him and switched back over to English. It was a necessary precaution if she was going to keep coming at him in such a way—so completely, so uninhibited. 

Even in his naive tongue, Ethan still needed to use his context clues piecing together that joining a harem in this case definitely wasn’t a good thing contrary to what Ethan may have previously believed. But what the athlete lacked in brains, he always seemed to make up for in charm. And so he held Naomi’s gaze as she stood before him, transfixed by the sudden power just one look held over him. 

“Because,” he started, tightening the gap between them and substituting the bottle for his empty hand which he extended out towards Naomi for her to take with a sudden burst of clarity he could not explain. A debonair smirk worthy of the gentleman he tried to be dangled off his lips as all the possible quips a remark like hers could warrant retreated, and Ethan laid down his armor. “Maybe I would have done something like this instead.”

it wasn’t until naomi was standing right in front of ethan that she realized her pulse was racing and she could feel her heart pounding uncharacteristically. what the fuck was happening to her? her last relationship had been like a hurricane, magnetic and hard to part from but always leaving her wondering where she stood. despite her body’s reaction to his proximity, she couldn’t help but feel safe around him. it wasn’t like she needed him to protect her, or yell at random guys in clubs, but she was realizing that she wanted him around. 

it was like all the pretence between them had dropped for just a moment, her hand finding his.  “ is this the part where you try to sweep me off my feet or something equally as cheesy? ” it was a typical retort for naomi but there wasn’t as much weight behind the words as it usually was, her tone more breathless as he closed the space between them. 

“if you’re gonna cuss me out in spanish, at least do it with words i don’t understand, genius.” connor teases lightly, smirking back at her. he knows that she’s right, but it’s easier for connor to simply fall into it instead of thinking about settling down. he’s always wanted a crazy life where he only thinks about himself, but upon arriving at this house, he realized that his life felt almost empty until he connected with all these people and he was still getting used to how he felt about all of it. “you’ve thought a lot about this, haven’t you?” he asked curiously. he didn’t think naomi would be the type, considering how much she usually went for things in similar ways that connor did. it was surprising that she was so calm about it. “that’s fucking…deep. i think it’s hard for him to have both of us in his life, nomi. he was absolutely in love with you, you know? i think he’s having a hard time making you fit into his life with me now. but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you around, he just doesn’t know how he wants you around.” he ruffled her hair playfully, letting out some of the smoke from the joint and offering her some more.

“ maybe i wanted you to understand,” she raises her eyebrows and taps her head with a smirk, like he should be getting it, but she can’t help but laugh a moment later. it was almost out of character for naomi to want such a thing like a family. she had never really wanted one in the past, despite her and ezra’s fantasizing about what a life would be like, until there was the actual possibility of one. “ i guess so. ” but that had all changed a few years ago and she couldn’t help but picture how things would have turned out differently. “ i know. when did we get so fucking wise, huh? ”she took the joint but held it between her fingers for a second, carefully measuring her words before she spoke again. “ there’s something he doesn’t know. and if ever found out, he would hate me. ”

mia: it is whatever

mia: it had to be whatever otherwise im going to have a full on fucking meltdown

mia: like if you think my outburst in the groupchat was bad, just wait until i admit that its all actually happening

mia: you'd be mad if i hadn't just gotten my heart stepped on

nomi: so you're going to repress all those feelings until you snap later?

apollo lets out a sigh as he throws the blanket from over his head, letting it settle in his lap. he doesn’t protest when naomi reaches for the bottle, he’s probably had enough as it is. “ wow, thanks, i always appreciate your candidness, “ he retorts, though just as half-heartedly. he wasn’t really in the mood to engage in his usual bout with naomi. “ i can’t believe you asked that, too. but the answer is probably no, i’m not. – is this where i’m supposed to vent to you or something? “

she takes a swig, lifting her shoulders in a shrug that is far from modest. “ you know me, i’m always honest. ” her eyebrows shoot up, holding the tequila bottle between them like a protective shield. “ god, no. but as someone who’s dealt with heavy group chat drama first hand, i know it can be a lot. ”

“well, i wasn’t,” he says quietly, “who would ever be better off without the person they love?” ezra’s first semester had been pretty much the only good one of his college career. he’d arrived so shiny and new, but between the breakup and the pressure his classes brought, things had only gotten worse. he’d come home looking more rundown every break, bouncing back just enough over the summer to keep anyone from suspecting too much. his roommates had learned to turn a blind eye when he spent days in bed, silently making sure he stayed hydrated and out of harm’s way until he bounced back. and as unfair as it is to pin it on her, he can’t help but think that if things would have worked out with naomi he would have had the courage to quit school before he spiralled so hard, someone and something else to fight for. he finally looks up at her, tears stinging his own eyes and a lump forming in his throat. he wants to wrap his arms around her, tell her that of course he can’t do this, of course he can’t walk out on them. but he wants to be over her so badly, to stop hurting every time he thinks about the future they never had. “let me go, naomi,” he chokes out, “if you love me, the way you say you do, the way i know you do, you’ll let me move on. i just- i just want to be happy for once. i haven’t been happy in so long.” 

“ i wasn’t. ” the words cut her to the core, right down to a place that she never knew she had. for so long, she had been suppressing all the emotions that had come out of losing him. because she hadn’t just lost him in the process, and no one knew it. the only other person she had told was dead and gone. “ that’s not... ” her voice dies in her throat. for once, they can’t read each other’s minds and that scares her more than anything else. “ we can be there for each other without being together. we... ” we weren’t ever supposed to end. there are so many thoughts crowding her head that she shuts her eyes in an effort to make them all stop, fingers pressed her to eyelids to hold back the tears that she knows are coming. she’s sure that she looks like an idiot, standing there and nearly blubbering but ezra had seen every part of her and now was clearly no exception. i’m sorry that i couldn’t make you happy, i’m sorry i never told you, i’m sorry that you were the one and i ruined it. “ i’m sorry — ” it’s the only thing she’s able to say before it all becomes too much and she practically flees the room, her back pressed against the door as the tears finally come.

 just  as  she  inquires  about  naomi  and  ethan,  daphne  turns  to  wash  her  hands  in  the  sink.  her  best  friend’s  coy  response  earning  a  dubious  roll  of  honeyed  eyes.  she  turns,  bottle  of   rosé  in  hand  to  refill  her  nearly  empty  glass.  this  topic  strayed  far  from  being  taboo  between  them.  they  respected  each  other  too  much  to  ever  let  a  boy  ruin  (  frankly  the  most  important  )  relationship  they  have.  daphne  gave  her  blessing  without  question  because  if  anyone  deserved  happiness,  it  was  nomi.  it  took  time  for  her  to  get  accustomed  to,  not  because  he  was  her  ex  but  because  she  hadn’t  yet  shed  her  negative  predisposition  of  him.  his  whoreish  ways  had  done  her  wrong  before  and  she  would  ruin  him  before  ever  letting  nomi  get  hurt.  even  though  she  didn’t  need  the  protection  and  even  though  she  was  the  strongest  person  daphne’s  ever  met,  it  wouldn’t  stop  her.  but  she  quickly  realized  over  the  break  that  he  had  grown  significantly  since  their  high  school  days  and  the  looks  the  two  shared  when  no  one  else  was  watching  told  her  everything  she  needed  to  know.  “  do  you  like,  like  him  ?  porque  ethan  te  mira  como  si  hubieras  colgado  la  luna.  ”  she  admits,  grinning  into  her  glass.  

 the  moment  isco’s  name  falls  from  parted  lips,  a  blush  forms  on  daphne’s  cheeks  and  she’s  thankful  the  face  mask  conceals  most  of  it.  “  i  never  thought  i  could  be  this  happy,  mi.  it’s  so  weird,  like  i’ve  had  the  worst  year  of  my  life  and  somehow  he  shows  up  and  in  the  midst  of  it,  it’s  like  the  pain  i  feel  eases  up  a  little  more  each  day  because  he’s  there  to  remind  me  that  it  won’t  last  forever.  when  he  looks  at  me  i  know  that  he  really  sees  me,  you  know  ?  i  think  we  could  get  through  anything  as  long  as  we  have  each other.  god  —  sorry  to  get  all  mushy,  ”  she  laughs,  her  smile  large  like  the  cheshire  cat.  “  blame  it  on  the  rosé.  ”

delicate touches dab the rest of the product into her neck before wiping her hands on a towel, finding the wine glass set out beside her on the counter. the conversation about ethan had been a nervewracking moment for naomi at first, though she knew it shouldn’t have been. daphne had been as unfailingly gracious as she always was and any anxieties had dissipated almost immediately. but still, it was a strange situation to talk about. her and ethan were a hook up that naomi didn’t particularly want to end, and that was something she didn’t know how to say. still, she couldn’t help the small smile that bloomed on her lips as daphne spoke. “ i... ” she trailed off, eyes widening with a realization as she leaned against the counter, hands braced behind her. “ dios, ayúdame but i think i might. when we all went out the first time, i saw him with someone else and i just kind of lost it. ”

she grins as daphne speaks, her heart feeling fuller than it has all season . “ i know that glow you have is not just from the face masks and your 12 step skincare routine. like i said, you deserve it, querida. it’s the happiest i’ve ever seen the two of you, honestly. so, are you guys together? can i officially put matchmaker on my list of skills? ”

mia: its whatever

mia: can we just skip to the part where you're mad at me for sneaking phone calls to jimmy

nomi: it's not whatever

mia: im sorry that i dont want to talk about apollo telling me he loved me and then picking another girl over me and then jimmy telling me he loved me and giving another girl my fucking engagement ring

nomi: oh mi

mia: there's nothing worth talking about.

nomi: i don't even know why i try honestly

mia: i really don't want to talk about this

apollo caught the bag and immediately tore it open. he was too drunk to care that it was naomi who had entered and the room and tossed him the chips. he scooted around so that he was facing her instead of the tv. he scoffed at her comment. he knew that he was wasted, but he didn’t look that bad, did he? there wasn’t a mirror anywhere around for him to check but he was sure that sitting on the floor, alone in the dark, with a blanket around his head, probably wasn’t the best look. “ i feel fantastic thanks to that guy, “ he smirks, pointing to the bottle of tequila. “ do i really look that bad though? “

naomi opens her own bag, popping a few kernels in her mouth as she appraises what she can see of him under the blanket. “ yeah, jose has been known to boost the ego. ” she reaches for the bottle, a brow raised in a silent question. “ not any worse than usual, ” it’s a usual barb, though there’s less of an edge to her tone than usual. “ i can’t believe i’m even fucking asking this but, are you okay? ”

isco had been looking for some solitude; he’s still trying to wrap his head around the fact that his entire world is crumbling to pieces and has no idea how to handle that he’s losing everyone. his head feels like it is spinning when naomi opens the door and for the first time ever, he’s dreading talking to her now more than ever due to the fact that she is daphne’s best friend. he’s not sure he can discuss this with anyone else. but he also knows naomi won’t take a no for an answer; it’s just who she is.  a sigh leaves his mouth as he looks away from her, back at the ocean. “i’m sorry, naomi. i don’t think i can handle the same conversation with two people on the same night.” he admitted, his voice almost breaking by the end of the sentence.

at first, naomi was beyond bewildered at what was happening in the group chat. luci slept with someone in the house, apollo had said. but, then it all hit her, and she found herself having to read the conversation over again, sure that she had made some kind of mistake. there was no way it could have been isco. but then, daphne had stumbled into her arms, tears streaking her face, and every nagging doubt was confirmed. she had only one goal in mind: give isco a piece of her mind. daphne’s her best friend and no one was ever going to treat her that way. but now, here he was, voice choked with emotion and unable to even look at her and naomi feels herself deflate. daphne’s her best friend but so is isco and she’s silent for a moment, torn in two different directions. “ okay, ” she says finally, sitting with the bottle between then and looking out towards the dark horizon. “ we don’t have to talk about it right now. we can just sit here. ”

✘ closed starter for @naomishq

time had gotten away from apollo, as well as the amount of alcohol he had consumed since dinner. in fact, he couldn’t even remember what he ate for dinner. and now, somehow, he found himself sitting on the floor of the living room, wrapped in a blanket in front of the tv ( which wasn’t even on, so he had no idea why he was sitting there facing it ), with a bottle of tequila in his hand. he heard someone pad into the room behind him and craned his neck to try to see who it was but couldn’t see past the blanket around him. “ hey, whoever that is, can you hand me the bag of doritos on the table? i’m starving. “

it was evening when naomi realized that she hadn’t actually consumed anything that day. if you counted three cups and counting of spiked coffee, which she definitely did not. she had finally forced herself to roll out of bed and had tucked a bag of smartfood popcorn and twizzlers under her arm before she heard the plea for snacks. she tossed it to him, perching on the edge of the coffee table. “ are you feeling as bad as you look? because it’s looking rough. ”

It was infuriating, really, the way Naomi always seemed to challenge him and roll her eyes at him How she knew all the right buttons to push, and he always rose to the occasion without so much as a second thought. Even so, Ethan couldn’t get enough, and there was something about it that kept him wanting more. Tonight was no different, falling victim to foreign words and lingering glances. He scrambled into the cab without question both grateful to be off his knee and that she hadn’t completely blown him off. 

“Si, after you la reina,” Ethan tried, his limited Spanish was curt and rough, still carrying his American accent. The athlete had picked up a few words here and there while training with the team in Spain not to mention after spending more time with Naomi and living in Miami for the passed two years. Drunken nights out sometimes lead to botched conversations in addition to the invertible procurement of profanities which even Ethan wasn’t stupid enough to use while both of them were riding in silence too stubborn to make amends.

Typically, Ethan had a hard time keeping up when it came to understanding Spanish. It was usually too fast for him and the words and phrases never failed to blend together in his mind. As Naomi rattled off another sentence and Ethan emerged from the car, he met her gaze with a quirked brow. He would have bet any amount of money that she had said something about the tango— or was that a verb? “If you wanted to dance, you should have just said so before, Morales.” Ethan called after her raking his fingers through his hair as he made his way into the kitchen behind her.

naomi couldn’t help the quirk of her lips as he responded in partial spanish, though she hid it by looking out the window. she could recall more than a few nights curled up on her couch, his head in her lap as she corrected his speech, as patiently as she could manage, but always with laughter. he had even ordered dinner for them in her native tongue, each syllable carefully pronounced, and she could clearly remember the proud way he had beamed back at her after she had complimented him. 

but now, they were a far cry from that night but. even if the cab was filled with terse silence, she still wanted to be around him. there was something about his presence that filled her with a sense of calm and challenged her, all at the same time. she realized that he probably hadn’t understood her but the retort had her stop in her tracks for a moment, wrinkling her nose in confusion. a laugh almost threatened to escape the lips that had been tightly pressed together just a minute ago, but she stifled it and moved into the kitchen. she stepped out of her heels, grateful for the break, and busied herself with pouring a generous amount of liquor and juice into a nearby cup. “ why? even if i did want to dance with you, i wasn’t about to join the harem.” she turned, the sip seemingly ready to have her go to battle again. but her words weren’t as convincing as they were before, the steps she had taken towards him placing her right in front of him and her gaze locked on his.