I don't know

However, the idea of what a man can be has not expanded in the same way. Every man has to be stoic, loud, take up space, and never show weakness. Allowing men to be sensitive, emotional, soft, pretty, and feminine used to be one of the goals of feminism. After all, how are we supposed to see ourselves as truly equal if we still have such strict rules guiding gendered behavior?

Recently, I have seen feminism (trans exclusionary and trans inclusive) solidifying those strict rules of manhood instead of breaking them down. The idea that all men are agressive, stubborn, and will physically overpower you has been parroted so many times, it almost feels like fact. It is forcing —not the men themselves— but the idea of men into the role of the evil wrongdoer. The ways in which terfs have used this image to harm trans women are myriad and obvious.

It used to be common knowledge that feminism also ought to benefit men in this way. If the sexes were truly equal, then men could act feminine, and women could act masculine without social repercussions. This breakdown of gender roles is a good thing! It is freeing for all of us to remove the arbitrary rules guiding gendered behavior.

It explains so much…..

Aragorn: Arwen used to call me Aragorn…..

BUT

Aragorn (lying flat on the ground with his face in the dirt): aweralwkerjwae

Legolas: You’re only 87– you’ve got your whole life ahead of you. You can find love a second time!

Aragorn: I did. Boromir died.

If someone does not love and respect both your proper and your freak? They were not meant for you.

I loved my dear friend, but it became clear to me in recent years that my friend did not love me.

Oh, she was happy to come and stay at my house half the weekend and tell me all her woes and how excited she was to do pottery and about her job and the men she was pursuing.

But she could not handle a five minute conversation about comics or movies or books or art that I was working on. She would sit there silently and say 'I have nothing to contribute' or she would start watching TikTok WHILE I was talking until I gave up.

It wasn't as if I didn't try, I only brought up topics in those genres I thought might interest her, or referenced things she'd talked about in the past, but it starting being very obvious that she didn't want to have a conversation, she wanted me to listen and affirm while she told me things.

And it genuinely hurt my feelings, because I don't particularly care about pottery or glazing, but I listened and learned and asked questions and eventually learned enough to have an actual conversation on the topic with her. Because I loved her and that is what she loves.

A few weeks ago, I went to see a different friend and she asked me if she could play a video game while we talked. I didn't mind, I was used to trying to fight with TikTok for attention.

We spent five hours talking, actually talking. Five hours of me getting to talk about the novel I've been working on for nearly two years at this point and for her to tell me all about the construction and design of her favorite game franchise, and not once did I feel like I was fighting for attention. It felt very much like hanging out and playing video games when I was a kid.

BOY DO I!!!

London's Natural History Museum (London, England)

Gothenburg's Natural History Museum (Gothenburg, Sweden)

Whales of Iceland (Reykjavík, Iceland)

Museum of New Zealand/Te Papa Tongarewa (Wellington, New Zealand)

Royal Ontario Museum (Toronto, Ontario, Canada)

American Museum of Natural History (New York City, New York, USA)

The Smithsonian's Sant Hall of Ocean Life (Washington DC, Maryland, USA)

The Smithsonian's Whale Warehouse* (Washington DC, Maryland, USA)

Bonus: Exploding Whale Park** (Florence, Oregon, USA)

I'm sure there are more; these are the museums that I know of. I've visited the first two so far!

*The Whale Warehouse is only able to be visited during private tours as it's primarily a preservation project

Reminder that this weekend downtown New Orleans will simultaneously host GalaxyCon, Naughty N'awlins, the American School Counselor Association Annual Conference, and the Running of the Bulls. That's roughly 30,000 superheroes, 3,000 swingers, 5,000 counselors, and hundreds of people voluntarily being chased by roller derby skaters dressed as bulls.

The overlap of those worlds is where the real magic happens. It is entirely possible that somewhere in the French Quarter, Batman and Catwoman will successfully recruit Ms. Jones from some place called Crabapple Middle School to be their third, moments before all three instinctively scatter as a roller derby skater dressed as a bull rounds the corner.