Yet Another Geek-Girl

O-okay, let’s get into this, shall we?

*grumbling* Would you rather work for Lex Luthor or the Joker- *shouting* Lex Luthor, by like, a fucking mile!

Yes, yes, working for Lex Luthor is basically like being an Amazon employee that makes weapons of mass destruction, which is bad. Lex is like Donald Trump mixed with Mark Zuckerberg mixed with Jeffrey fucking Bezos, it’s not a great mix. He does not treat his henchmen well. Their lives still suck, and they are probably monitored on how long they take piss breaks for.

But let’s analyze what working for Lex Luthor is like versus the fucking Joker. With Lex you probably get a dental plan, a health plan, a paycheck, and the guy that you’re fighting really cares about human life. Superman will hit you just long enough to knock you out, so you’re not a treat, so he can stop the problem.

If you work for the Joker, your payment is you’re not fucking dead. You say one wrong thing? Bang. You don’t laugh at his jokes? Bang! You do laugh at his jokes? Bang! You think Joker gives a fuck about a henchman?

Who’s Lex Luthor’s right-hand-man? It’s a woman, you sexist, her name is Mercy, she’s awesome. Who’s Joker’s right-hand-man? Bob? Nah, he’s dead. Harley? Tried to kill her multiple times. Slappy? Who the fuck is Slappy?

The best case scenario of working for the Joker is that you fight the fucking Batman! And that presents its own fucking list of problems. If you stop Superman as a Lex Luthor henchman, Lex’ll be pissed, but he’ll be at least happy that Superman was caught. If you stop Batman as a Joker henchman, you better have a fucking coffin picked out yesterday.

This isn’t a fun hypothetical question, this is a screening technique that the doctors at Arkham use to determine your mental health! There is a right and a wrong answer to this question, and the correct one is Lex fucking Luthor. Thank you for coming to my fucking Ted Talk, have a nice day.

Well I don't like how it feels. I don't feel cleaner without body hair. I don't prefer not having body hair. But who will advocate for women like me, but me? For women who do like hair removal, they are advocated for every time they step out of the house and see 99% of the female population also conforming to that standard, or when they watch a movie and see all the shaved actresses, or view an advertisment, or open a magazine, or watch a music video, or scroll through social media, or walk down the streets without receiving insults and glares for having a completely normal bodily feature.

But the real difference is that well water often has little quirks. It’s fresh and yummy from a hole in the ground, it’s not fancy city water that goes through treatment. That means that it didn’t taste like it could be bottled up right from the tap.

In fact what it meant was it tasted like sulfur. Straight up rank eggs. We had it tested repeatedly and it was totally safe for everything, it just stank. It was just something I accepted without question. The sky was blue and water smelled like a chicken egg you'd missed because the hens had gotten sneaky and it had been slowly rotting in the hot summer sun day by day.

It wasn’t until I got older and had friends sleepover who expected a shower the next day that I really caught on that my water wasn’t what they were used to.

“What’s that smell?” they would ask in disgust.

I’d stick my head in the bathroom and look back at them in puzzlement. “What smell?”

I was completely immune. I’d drink it happily, it was as nothing to me to drink water that tasted like a demon had just pissed it out. My friends all thought I was completely off my rocker.

It wasn’t until years after I’d moved out that I smelled what everyone else did. I went to visit my parents to stay overnight. I turned on the shower and reared back. What was that smell?

I think this is the soggiest Jim I’ve ever made