My Sister Made Me Do It

man, narrating in russian: Every fucking year, this time of the year, the pond at my backyard gets infested. What do ponds get infested with? Frogs? Poisonous weeds? Geese? No. Not my pond.

[The man opens the back door, stepping out into a garden. Three or four nude, human-like figures dash from the borders of a pond back into the water.]

man: Rusalki! I don't know where they come from or how they get here, and I can't afford to hire an exterminator every year. I can't let my cat outside anymore. Last year a rusalka managed to drown a whole deer in my pond, the stench was unbearable.

[He walks as he speaks, approaching the pond. There are several eerily beautiful female beings peering at him from under the surface, their long hair floating in the murky water. Their eyes are gleaming in an unhuman way. The man holding the camera stops to film them.]

man, calm and deadpan: What the fuck are all of you staring at. Get jobs or something.

[One of the rusalki, smaller than the others and clearly not a fully matured adult, slowly reaches out of the water with her white, thin hand, grasping his ankle. He appears unconcerned.]

man: You can't drown me, you little idiot. You're too small. Shoo!

[A loud thud startles the rusalki, making them scatter. A second thud makes it clear these are the approaching footsteps of something massive. The man turns around and points the camera at what appears to be a house, walking past above the treeline with chicken-like legs]

Your writing seems boring and predictable because 

You wrote it

You’ve read it like eight million times.

Daniel: *pacing around the garden, constantly flinching and standing next to the boys, gasping at every hit Haw throws in Demetri's way*

The boys tense. Johnny raises his hand. Hawk steps protectively in front of Demetri.

Nothing happens. Johnny stands there with his hand up.

I applaud you for putting the fear of god in me for those first couple sentences and then immediately making me fall over laughing

• Luca’s Nicky’s Italian sneakily making its way into an international netflix movie

• Andromaquynh moments

• Marwan Kenzari’s lines

• Nile Freeman’s badassery and heart

• Found Family shenanigans

• lost bets

• Quỳnh scenes

• Nicolò and Yusuf’s moments where they look at each other like nothing else in the world matters

• Nicky casually dropping love declarations that have the power of annihilating me, see: The love of my life was of the people I’ve been taught to hate

• Nile Freeman holding the groups braincell with both hands

• but also moments when the braincell is nowhere to be found and Nile improvises (see: did you seriously just shot yourself in the foot Nile)

• casual displays of affection in the family

• Booker’s sad eyes

• Joe loving his family so much love shines in his eyes

• Andromaquynh moments

• cool action scenes

The Old Guard text-post meme 2/?

Me, already on my way to watch it: