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@myrmonarch

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tumblr is (rightfully!) horny for trains but i need you to understand buses can be just as sexy as train transport. sexier even! if this sounds fake it's because the bus systems you've interacted with have been purposefully hobbled by bad funding/management. i promise well-run bus transit is SO fucking hot actually start panting
its friday. if you don't normally floss, today is a great day to make an exception, since it's flossing friday! get rid of some of the built up mats of bacteria between your teeth that brushing and mouthwash have a hard time to deal with on their own, help prevent them from setting up camp beneath your gums, where they can erode your bones and lead to teeth falling out if left untreated. help save yourself a future doctors visit!
republicans: homeless people should be ground into sausage and fed to schoolchildren
democrats: persons experiencing houselessness should be ground into sausage and fed to schoolchildren
this post posits a utopian world where either of these parties would support feeding schoolchildren, making it a masterclass in "hopepunk"
lmao on the edinburgh zoo site it says “there is a daily penguin parade at 14:15 but it may be cancelled last minute as it is a voulntary parade, we do not coax the penguins with food, and they may not want to go out” lmao anarchopenguinism
this is the cutest goddamn thing i’ve ever heard
I saw the penguin parade. It was a very slow parade, because the pingüinos take their sweet time and aren’t very fast walkers to begin with.
can I volunteer to be a penguin
I feel like the world needs to know the context of the edinburgh zoo penguin parade, becausr I’ve been going there my entire life and I only found out about this the other year.
So a while back (I can’t remember exactly when but I think it was some time around the 40s/50s), a bunch of penguins escaped. A keeper left the gate open so a bunch of penguins just… followed them. And the people loved it. Look at these adorable birds outside their cage just following that guy around! So they get all the penguins back inside and realise that none of them really ran off, they just followed the keeper and went back inside and crowd thought it was amazing, so why not make it a regular thing? Get enough people there that if one of them goes to make a run for it (which at least one has in the past), they can’t get past the people, and let the ones who want outside have a little wander. So every day, they get a crowd, they open the gate, and whatever penguins want to get out can go, waddle about, squawk at people, and then hop back inside.
Also, one of those penguins is Brigadier Sir Nils Olaf III, Colonel-in-cheif of the Norwegian King’s Guard. This isn’t really related to the parade at all, I just love the fact that there’s a penguin in the Norwegian army
Reblogging with Brigadier Sir Nils Olaf III inspecting his troops.
Carry on …
I love everything about this post.
A GOOD POST
A lovely older friend of mine lived in Edinburgh when she was a small child, and regularly attended the penguin parade – as a penguin. That is, she was a small toddler and thus about the right height and speed, and she just waddled along with everyone else who was about 2’ high.
So the answer to ‘can I volunteer to be a penguin’ is at least occasionally ‘yes.’

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Fighting the stereotypes
#something something dandelion
Oh holy shit
"you're just fucking the hints guy for hints"
-guy who's fucking the save guy for saves
Am I missing extremely important context
Sounds like you should've fucked the hint guy
hitting you hitting you hitting you hitting you hi-
e me a mail
make the attachment a pic of a snail
give me two gifs
of critters in clover
then photoshop them on the CLIIIIIIIFFS OF DOVER
I still reference this post today. And yes, when I say I reference it I mean I sing it.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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had a dream that there was this new tiktok trend called "scrubbing" where people would take images of fictional characters and put them in images of bathtubs and drag around transparent pngs of soap and brushes with their tiktok art tablets and like liquify tool their hair down to mimic giving them a shower. and people would get into flamewars in the comments of every single video over the types of soap they picked and if the images had decently removed backgrounds and if they got soap in their eyes. and it got onto the news because it turned out everyone doing the trend was doing it compulsively like they physically couldn't stop and each video was a solid few minutes long because they were just collectively obsessively recording themselves fake-showering these fictional characters and arguing about it online
for the record I have never used tiktok and like explicitly in the dream I learned about it secondhand from a discord server so there's that also which is funny I think
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Closest match: Mya arenaria isolate MELC-2E11 chromosome 1 Common name: Soft-Shell Clam
This damn site. If I described this site as accurately as I could, I would be unable to justify the time I spend here.
Haha lookit em go!!
Two animals who appreciate the Warm Lamp
spreading my agenda

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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