Misery has made me a fiend ...

they call me an undercover agent. the way i’m. under the covers :) cozy in bed :)

they call me a sleeper agent the way i. well. i shan’t say.

Can someone please translate this I feel like it’s important

“look: i’m a sphinx”

you’re right that was important

[Image caption: Asking the kitchen a personal question as I peel ginger root to boil in a haste of lemon and orange. Look at these beautiful things, these sharp soft insides stirring with the water and rising. The refrigerator lets out a nice hum. Thank you for keeping my things safe and cool, I say. And then argue with the garbage disposal, shoving rinds and coffee grounds into its mouth until we come to an agreement. The dishwasher has been away on vacation, traveling to find itself and discover, meaning the sink and suds and I have gotten quite close over the last few months. I hand them my problems, my crumbs and tea leaves. They gift back a sponge, water so hot my hands crack. The dishes are such patient creatures. Warmed by toasted bread and the same soup all week; without complaint when left on the counter overnight. And they don't mind my singing voice. My nights frozen still in the light of the fridge looking looking, shutting the door. The kitchen and I in our strange, repeating history. The microwave in some ways like moonlight.]

i’m just saying aragorn son of arathorn oh im sorry STRIDER (one of them rangers what his right name is i never heard etc etc) didn’t need to be that sexy at the prancing pony. like ostensibly he’s trying to lay low but even dipshit little [relatively] eighteen y/o frodo is like hey what’s the deal with that extremely ostentatiously sexy man in the corner

“you draw far too much attention to yourself ‘mister underhill’” if i were frodo i wouldve snapped. jesus christ. i can’t help that i’m two feet shorter than everyone else in this definitely definitely 100% a gay bar but at least i didn’t lurk in a sexy corner making eyes at everybody from under my cloak at least im TRYING to pretend i’m not a protagonist you fine ass idiot. i KNOW i’m being pursued by the black riders which is why i didn’t SERVE CUNT from the SHADOWS. the fellowship of the nerve of this bitch