the no-fun zone

e me a mail

make the attachment a pic of a snail

I still reference this post today. And yes, when I say I reference it I mean I sing it.

correlation is not causation, ghosts are drawn to poison and weakened minds

People love simple, extremely practical things. I hope you win!

no piece of supernatural commentary will ever be as impactful as ‘what happened to all the pussy on supernatural’

plutonic lesbian friends (that do nothing for me)

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

I wish I was a female tiger because then if I was talking to someone and I was getting off topic I could say “but I tigress,” and then kill and eat them because I am a tiger

I think every movie regardless of time period or tone should have at least 1 (one) trans person in it. Like at the beginning of The Godfather some Sicilian tgirl should come to Vito and be like “Godfadda, I need money for my breast implants” and Vito should be like “I’ll never forget what you’ve done for this family. I’ll find you the best surgeon in New York”

god, if you’re listening, there is another famous South Carolinian we all deserve to be liberated from

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