Soon every kid in the school had pet flies tied to strings. They’d even get like multiple flies and carry them around like fly balloons. Even some teachers were getting in on it. Personally, I never got into it but I didn’t have the dexterity needed to do something precise as tying a string around a fly’s leg. No one would help me with it either. I was introvert and weirdo with no friends. I still am.

Things started to fall apart when state testing came around and the sound of constant buzzing became way more aggravating to everyone. There was also the problem of flies dying and the floors being covered in dead fly bodies. Like, despite having them as pets people still didn’t like touching flies with their bare hands. When the flies died they just left them on the floors, seats, and desks or whatever. It wasn’t uncommon to sit in a seat just covered in dead flies. You get used to having fly corpses, and fly juice on your butt after a while.

Even though fly pets were eventually banned (and hefty punishments were thrown out for anyone caught with pet flies), there was still a large amount of flies left in the school. The school had basically become a breeding ground for flies. Lunch was inedible because of all the maggots. They’d even be dripping from the ceilings and stuff. They had to shut down school for at least a month to get the exterminators to purge the place. It wasn’t that effective. There were just so many maggots in every nook and cranny of the school that no amount of exterminators could effectively purge the place without completely knocking down the school.

So, the principal decided to release a modest of amount of spiders into the school to eat all of the flies and maggots. Long story short, it didn’t work. They just managed to create a weird fly-spider based ecosystem in the school. The school had to reopen eventually, and everyone just got used to all of the flies and spiders. The cafeteria had to be moved to a nearby building since the school’s cafeteria had become so infested with spiders and maggots that it had to be locked off.

*Crowley in Hell in 1943*

Crowley: So the idea is to make this massive super center where people can buy everything and anything for their home at unreasonably low prices...

Ligur: That doesn't sound very evil...

Crowley: EXACTLY! Too good to be true, right? Until you get there. Then you're shuffled through this endless maze of choices and ideas and inspiration for all of your decorating needs. You end up spending hours there, drudging from show room to show room.

Ligur: I still fail to see what about that...

Crowley: Are you kidding me?!? Husbands and wives arguing over which dining room set best matches their living room. Kids crying for cheap toys that mum and dad keep saying 'no' to. GIANT shopping bags that allow for a bunch of the tiny household and office appliances you didn't know you needed, but they're oh so cheap!!! Everyone leaves frustrated, compromised, and broke! I'm effectively turning their freedom of choice against them! And the best part? Once they've endured all of that... They have to go home and build the furniture themselves, spending even more hours decoded the instructions and diagrams!

Hastur: But if people are going to get so frustrated and angry, then why won't they just leave?

Crowley: They can't! I purposely influenced the chief architect to create a pathway that they are literally herded though like cattle! They can't leave until they walk all the way through!

Beelzebub: But why would people go there if they know it's going to take them hours to shop?

Crowley: I'm actually quite proud of this bit; we put a resturaunt right in the middle! Swedish food, Swedish dishes, and desserts so rich that the children are wound back up and bouncing off the walls for the rest of the trek! They break things, demand for more toys, and frustrate their parents even more!

Hastur: Why Swedish?

Crowley: Why not?

Hastur:

Ligur:

Beelzebub:

CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS

CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS 

CONTACT YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS