nobody:
me when i eat pop rocks:
Peter Solarz
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@mybatteryislowhelp
nobody:
me when i eat pop rocks:

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Apple calculating the price of new iPhone, 2019

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đź“· by franzi.si
i made this hope you enjoy nerds
The way this entire can of coke fits exactly in this coke glass
Windex isn’t carbonatedÂ
The use of the princess bride implies that they’re both windex
it also implies that op developed immunity to windex

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Some girl in my class was talking about McDonald’s shamrock shakes and this yeehaw dude in cowboy boots said they suck and then he looked me in the eyes and said “what you’re gonna do is go to Arby’s, and get yourself a mint chocolate chip shake.” And he said it with such authority and certainty that I did so as soon as I got in my car
I see your concern y’all but this wasn’t a man telling me what to do. This is a man who had important knowledge and shared it with me. He was aiding me on a quest I didn’t even know I was on.
You fool, that was Arby himself.
Million dollar idea
BUG TIME
A world in which elves exist and magic works - MĂşlagljĂşfur Canyon, Iceland. BY Arnar Kristjansson, [1200x1600] - SScouterSS

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Illness dialogue
“I feel dizzy.”
“I think I might pass out.”
“I’m not feeling very well.”
“Do I feel warm?”
“Do I look pale?”
“Am I running a fever?”
“Could you take my temperature?”
“My throat is sore.”
“I’ve a killer headache.”
“Can I have some water?”
“Do you have any painkillers?”
“I should lay down.”
“Can I lay down?”
“Where’s your bathroom?”