roasty toasty princess

i like anime, manga, archaeology, anthropology, history, houses, & cats.

sometimes i draw

my mother is a shit stain & i've been struggling with this since like. 2007. for the most part, i've built my bridges & am over or have accepted a lot of the shit she's done. i've reckoned w a lot of my feelings irt her. i also still currently live with her due to necessity.

my brother, on the other hand, was a mama's boy for the longest time (prob until he met his wife, tbh, like 2010? i think?) & he is just now coming to a lot of the same realizations i had about our mother years ago.

on one hand, its good bc i can be there for him & we can commiserate. on the other hand, i have a hard time not feeling resentment towards him bc when i was going through this shit myself years ago, he treated me like shit & like i was the problem and not our mother. there is also the problem that him venting to me about this stuff to me now, after i have come to terms w it, means that its reopening those wounds for me & like sending me back to that time when i was constantly miserable.

& i feel like i can't tell him that it gets to me bc i feel like he would take it personally & stop talking to me completely, or that he would just ignore what i said & continue on anyway.

it doesn't help that my brother makes it fairly clear that he doesn't care much about i have to say bc he doesn't give me a chance to talk & when i do talk, he ends up talking over me &/or changing the subject. he's very self-focused, so its also hard to bring up my side of things if it differs at all from his perspective.