roasty toasty princess

Need to be taken apart and reassembled like a broken watch . Not in a sex way I just think they should put my joints together right this time

manifesting that the US lose against belgium 🙏🙏

Talking to allo people who haven’t really interrogated how society has told them to view sex feels like that bit in SpongeBob where Patrick keeps failing to put his hand on the lid

Sex is just a thing. No it’s just an activity. It doesn’t have to be… no listen it’s just an activity. An activity. It’s just a thing. A thing. No it’s not the same for everyone it’s just an activity. No it’s a value neutral activity. An activity. An activity.

[Image ID: Tumblr reply from sorryThatHappened reading: as an allo person why was my first thought "oh so sex is like playing wario land 3" /End ID]

americans be like dude learning to drive isnt that bad but they dont know youre in ireland sharing a lane with a horse who is a bad person. And the horse and the instructor are friends and he keeps dapping the horse up through the window. And the horse called you a bitch under his breath so quiet the driving instructor is trying to convince you that you must have misheard him but you didnt. and theres a roundabout coming up and the horse didnt indicate

i told my dad the joke “dad jokes are just mom jokes that a man repeated louder” and he thought it was hilarious. he turned to my mother, intending to relay the joke to her, and a bare second after he opened his mouth i watched it dawn on his face that he was about to become the subject of the joke. when i tell you that man was slackjawed as he turned back to me, like he had an entire life altering realization in the span of about 20 seconds.

how my foot feels after i sit cross legged and motionless for hours on end

The near-to-total lack of pattern is almost an accomplishment in itself really

I'm torn between thinking 'this is a magical IRL shitpost' and 'what arse tiled a bathroom like my migraines?'

This is what my muscles feel like 24/7.

i tthought this was qr codes

there's a minotaur in the center of this

It’s going to be impossible to calculate range speed and direction to the toilet like this

"The bathroom was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel."

I know I already made a post to this effect but it's so baffling to me when someone defends the fact that headphone jacks are slowly but surely getting phased out by smartphone manufacturers with some variations of "wireless headphones are more convenient anyway" bc like. If we're talking about convenience what I like about wired headphones is that they conveniently have a single plug that makes the same damn pair of headphones universally compatible with every single audio-output-capable device I own, from my phone and my computer to my fucking gameboy and my casette player, it doesn't get any more convenient than that.

My roommate has been relentlessly arguing that that is to waterproof the phone more and that waterproofing the headphone jack would make it more expensive and I'm like my dude. What scenario are you imagining where enough water gets in the headphone jack to break it but not in the charging port?

I feel it would be good to have a word that's like not ragebait but shamebait, where you can read a post and just go 'ah, this person just wants me to feel ashamed of myself and is not engaging with the issue in a constructive or useful way. I do not have to participate in this actually' and like. move on with your day