Catharsis

ok but give me one good reason why you wouldn’t date Kermit the frog besides that he is a puppet and a frog

I can’t beat Miss Piggy in a fight. She’s very strong and knows karate.

mice are having sex in my walls :(

never thought i'd get accused of faking having a mice infestation for tumblr clout and yet here we are

you fucked those mice yourself

I fucked those mice myself

Break all medical patents they prevent advancement in medical science for the sake of monetary gain and greed

My dog watching me sobbing on my bed

This was my actual favorite part of working in a theater. People would come in and use a string of words no human had ever uttered and I’d have to be like “ohhhhkay let’s parse this out.”

Your first, fifth, and tenth most recent emojis predicts how well October will treat you

Full shrug emoji, rolling eyes, and winky kissy face. Sounds right.

honestly it is SO goddamn funny whenever some straight man calls me a whore or a bitch or something like girl you think that shit hurts my feelings? my closest friend once told me i dressed like an accounting major going through her 2nd divorce while trying to get her oldest stepchild to call her once a month. THATS a real insult. try harder.

I love this post because one time my younger sister told me I looked like a turtle from one of the Ice Age movies and since then nothing has cut me deeper than that

yea that’s him :/

Incredibles 2 did not have to go this hard but it did

It’s actually better than that - the picture comes from dogs being trained to sit through a PLAY… which means there are actors on the stage performing a musical for a theatre full of dogs.

[image: several rows of theater seats, with at least an ear visible of over a dozen patient dogs.]

Two guys sneak into a movie theatre dressed as one fat man

DO WEREWOLVES HAVE TOE BEANS

this is the wildest addition to this mistake of a text post