Just thinking about Ilya making the playoffs for the first time with the Cens and getting texts from Yuna and David about it.
Yuna's one is like, "HOLY SHIT THE CENTAURS ARE IN THE PLAYOFFS! I never thought I'd be so excited to say that. đ This is such a huge achievement and I couldn't be more proud of you! This means I'm finally going to have to cave and by an Ottawa jersey. Don't tell David I told you, but he's still drying his eyes about it. Bubbly when you and Shane come over on Saturday for SURE, okay? Love you lots. SO proud."
And David's is like, "You did it, Cap! I know how hard you worked for this and it's paid off. We'll be cheering you on for every game. I am so unbelievably proud of you, kiddo. Love you lots - can't wait to see you and Shane on Saturday."
And Ilya just sits there unable to breathe because he's never had a text like this after making the playoffs except maybe from Svetlana. He replies to the messages, eyes blurry with tears, and spends the rest of the night opening them at random times, just overwhelmed by how loved he truly is.
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Sometimes, fanfiction is carefully plotted out stories, with plot points and call backs and themes that all tie it up in a meaningful and exciting way.
And sometimes fanfiction is, âWatch me do a fucking KICK FLIP off this cool sentence!! Also here's some sex'
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So endeared and amused by the way Ilya moves his hand from Shane's ass to his waist when he sees David in the house. Man really locks eyes with his future in-law and doesn't startle or jump back with his hands in the air or anything but instead is just like why yes I do have my hands on your son and I will continue to have my hands on your son at all times whenever possible I know he's about to need me in this moment and I am ready and holding onto him and not going anywhere
....however I will move my hand to a more respectable location on said son
Unfortunately when I imagine a Very Tiny Shane I can only see him Ratatouille-ing Ilya into a Stanley Cup champion. But I love to see you guys having fun
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i think ilya has slept with both alexis and david rose at independent times without realizing they are siblings and also both alexis and david are unaware of this
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(please note all post time stamps are in my local time, which is currently Newfoundland Daylight Time (UTC -02:30) so they probably wonât line up with the time of posting either in the original posterâs time zone or yours, dear Reader. They are just there to establish a timeline.)
This is definitely one of those that may never be truly completed, because Connie is different from the other bits Iâve seen in this fandom in that weâre a little more invested in her as her own character, and weâre building her whole life from the ground up, one text post and anonymous ask at a time.Â
First thingâs first, you will need to know what Connor Storrie wore to the Met Gala on Monday, May 4, 2026, particularly after he removed the suit jacket.Â
Source
If I could summarize the Connie phenomenon, it would be with this quote from Jake @kaijuerotica : âhey if you're free later, me and the mutuals are ensouling a joke about one specific picture from the met gala. yeah, it's gonna be all day so stop in wheneverâ and this one from Nick @cuppydogshane : âwe ensouled an outfit. we can do AnythingâÂ
If weâre doing a âquick and dirtyâ rundown of who Connie is, I really like this description from Jes @ticklefighthockey : âi believe connie is the ann taylor-wearing alterego of connor storrie (inspired by his met gala blouse lmao)... she works in HR (human relations not heated rivalry) and is crushing on big hud who works in sales... but on a deeper level i think connie is whoever you need her to beâŚâ
And this answer from Bea @virginshane is a more thorough, but still succinct, summary.
Ready? Okay.Â
The official inception of Connie from admin was this wonderful joke from Teddy @loontattoo (May 5, 6:04pm): âHahaha yeah thatâs just connie from admin. she got a little wild at the staff holiday party. classic connie.â
Now. If youâve read the Shaneâs mouth frog and the Shoon masterlists, youâll probably know that I donât usually start at The Beginning. I like to go back and look for the history - to see if there were any rumblings of a particular fandom phenomenon before it achieved critical mass (if you will forgive the dreadful mixing of metaphors). I love this because it shows a) how in sync we are, as a fandom and b) all the Bits we do here are so collaborative. The collective consciousness of the tumblr Heated Rivalry fandom is a beautiful thing.Â
So, in keeping with tradition, letâs go back, to -22.10 hours BCE (Before Connieâs Era):Â
[NOTE: Iâm calling this section âProtoconniepostingâ, inspired by Nickâs tag on his reblog of his own post, after Connieâs official inception.]
After seeing Connorâs outfit without the jacket, Grace @graceebooks posted (May 4, 7:58pm): âim not kidding he dresses like me every time. i wore this without the train to court last weekâ [NOTE: Grace is a woman, a lawyer, and, if I remember correctly, she indicated in another post that she is 41 years old.]Â
One minute later: âconnor storrie said i WILL dress like a forty year old woman and it WILL look incredibleâ (7:59pm)
9:43pm: âyou guys have to accept that connor storrie contains multitudes and one of those facets is he wants to dress like a forty year old woman when the whole world is watchingâ
The following day, Julia @poetrylesbian posted a photo of Connorâs outfit paired with a screenshot of the Onion headline âSuburban Mom Wows Family With Most Androgynous Look Yetâ (May 5, 8:31pm)
In the meantime, Hudson Williamsâ outfit was also revealedâŚ
Source
..and Rowan @themoonandmyman posted this (May 4, 9:19pm): âListen they both look good. by virtue of being extremely attractive men. itâs also vulcan wine aunt and her boy toy matador wolverineâ
THEN, we got a video of Connor waving at the person filming with a big smile on his face as he went into the gala. Thank you to @sheisraging for this gif:
That gif was posted at 10:21pm.Â
At 10:52pm, Grace reblogged the gif above with the tag #literally a texas wine mom my beloved
At 10:55pm, @armitsicko posted âsheâs late to her MEETINGS but she still waves to the crowdâ
11:09pm: Cece @twirlingfreckles : like if Connor wants to dress like the regional manager of chicken salad chick I think we should support him in that
THEN, at 11:13pm, Kostas @24x81 debuted her CEO/matador universe: âit's that beautiful middle-aged corporate CEO woman and his david bowie matador lover and life partner on that red carpet tonight â Weâll come back to that, because they expanded on the concept quite a bit the following day.Â
BUT. In the meantimeâŚ
We got pictures of Connor dancing at the Met Gala (Thank you, @butdarlingthestarrs ) which included THEE iconic photo that birthed Connie (May 5, 1:06am) and Grace reblogged the photoset with the tag #oh my god when mom comes along to the party and has a few too many margaritas !! (1:24am)
Some more examples of proto connie posts on May 5:
From Grace, on a photo of Connor with Charlie XCX and Tate McRae: #literally mom #with goth daughter and cheerleader daughter (1:44am)
From Nick, that chic young woman is going places. in her powersuits (1:11pm)
From @ilyastits : when youâre six drinks in and the dj hits the âletâs go girlsâ (2:05pm)
From Yaz @nonlynear : the sweet texan woman that lurks beneath a thin veneer of butch woman that lurks beneath a thin veneer of muggy gay guy (6:47pm)Â
Okay letâs go back to Kostasâ CEO/matador universe and the stuff she posted about it on May 5th!Â
#he really was giving corporate CEO woman of the year under 40 on Forbes magazine (11:08am) (thank you for the pictures, @actuallysara )
they're arguing because she has been in back to back meetings negotiating this merger and she's had to miss his last two matador shows or whatever they're called⌠(11:12am)
you'd think he would spend a lot of time in Spain but no. trying to break into the matador market on the west coast. she's on the east coast - it's where corporate hq is... (12:31pm)
she goes by connie. she does call him big hud cause he refers to himself in the third person as big hudâŚ. (2:19pm)
connie takes big hud to his gala fundraisers and private business dinners cause she likes her arm candy⌠(2:35pm)
connie and big hud wintering in mykonos⌠(2:39pm)
connie in a power suit yelling at someone on the phone and big hud getting so hard so fast his vision blacks out for a second (2:45pm)
connie is the queen of day to night looks⌠(3:12pm)
early morning connie in her matching pajama set and embroidered silk bathrobe making espresso for him and big hud⌠(4:51pm)
And literally one hour and 13 minutes later, Tedanthony middlename lastname loontattoo typed the immortal words âConnie from adminâ and hit post.Â
(Continued in Part 2)
i'm in every moment we were together all at once @muserepeats - Tumblr Blog | Tumlook