Manderlay

"Lady Marlborough asked me to wait for you and I was... and then the bed looked so beautiful and I was overcome... with, with foolishness. I am sorry."

I'm going to discuss a BMI app that is designed in a way that welcomes very unkind thoughts about your own body and your BMI. Be warned, be safe, don't look at it if you're in a headspace where it might affect you negatively. etc. Safe space for women with failed EDs. This is your Dead Dove Do Not Eat.

First, some musings. I do suspect I'll get my period soon, or at least I hope I will. The post I originally made on the subject of my body image issues last night was privated - a side note: it was up all night and when I woke up, I thought I would've lost followers for it for sure. I'm well aware that these thoughts are not to be discussed, for very good reasons. But sometimes it does get awfully lonely - especially when we're so used to sharing all kinds of thoughts online. I know I could make a separate blog dedicated to my weight issues (and I did have that at some point), but I know I'll just spiral in different ways if I keep that up. Back on topic: I was miserable last night, too, and I did weigh myself this morning (I only do that when I feel awful)

...which leads me to The App. I need to talk about it. It's so horrific but it brings me a sort of glee and satisfaction that I'm sure other people with these issues might relate to.

It's an app that tracks your weight and tells you how close you are to your cinderella weight (iykyk). It's just incredible. You get a front page that tells you your GW and your CW, and (if you set it), how much time you have left to reach it <- that's a timer running out and ir's a little carriage, because you're cinderella going to the ball.

and you put in your weight, etc, of course, but the main page I find so crazy is the BMI list, that features your data as well, so you know when you'll reach a certain BMI. I don't know much about BMI and how it works, so it's very handy (slight irony) that they put the "ranges" too:

Severe Thinness (less than 16), Moderate Thinness (16 to less than 17), Mild Thinness (17 to less than 18.5), Normal Range (18.5 to less than 25), Overweight (25 to less than 30), up to Obese Class I and II.

In theory, that should be helpful. But here's what's killing me: It has icons.

Your icon is, of course, shown on the front page, too, and as someone who doesn't know anything about this, I get a kick out of putting in my weight and then seeing my new (or old) icon pop up again. No blue dress for you, Love! - I love, I ADORE the fact that the Ideal Weight is her in her dusty little sweeper outfit. Not quite as ratty as the Proper WT, but we're getting there. And I love that they acknowledge that the Cinderelle WT is, well mild thinness, but the very next one is like. Busted. Not good, girl!