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@voluptuarian
rolling my third eye

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I don't remember finding fart jokes particularly funny even when I was a child.
Five year old me, watching a movie with fart jokes: "Oh, how gauche. They're pandering to the lowest common denominator."
unconvinced i'll ever find "the vitamin" that makes me all better so i can get real work done but i do expect they'll elucidate whatever my deal was post-mortem, after which what i did manage to accomplish with my life will be regarded on the level of Beethoven composing despite being deaf or Gordon Ramsay cooking despite being british
Colombia Earthquake Death Toll Rises to 132, Hundreds Injured
The death toll from the powerful 7.4-magnitude earthquake that struck western Colombia has risen to 132, with at least 570 people injured, according to the Colombian Association of Capital Cities. Officials say it is the strongest earthquake recorded in the country in the past decade.
Key Developments
Rising death toll: At least 132 people have died and 570 others have been injured. Officials warn that the numbers could increase as rescue operations continue.
Severe damage: At least 86 buildings have collapsed, while several other structures and critical infrastructure have been damaged.
Cali hit hard: At least 85 people have died in Cali, according to Mayor Alejandro Eder. Around 40 buildings have collapsed, and 188 people remain missing. Thirty-seven people have been rescued.
Hospital damaged: Parts of a hospital in Cali, including the pediatric and neonatal sections, collapsed, trapping patients beneath the rubble.
Rescue operations: Emergency crews and soldiers are working to search collapsed buildings and rescue survivors. Hundreds of troops have been deployed to assist with the response.
Pereira casualties: At least 60 deaths have been reported in Pereira. Sixteen people were also rescued after becoming trapped for six hours in an aerial cable-car system.
Emergency measures: The Colombian government has declared a national disaster, while a nighttime curfew was introduced in Cali to protect residents and support rescue operations.
Epicenter: The earthquake's epicenter was near San JosƩ del Palmar, in an underdeveloped region of western Colombia, roughly 150 miles west of BogotƔ.
Wider impact: The earthquake was strongly felt in BogotĆ”, where residents evacuated homes and workplaces. Seven airports have suspended operations, and five capital cities remain under red alert.
International assistance: The United States has pledged $15.5 million to support shelter, food, protection and earthquake assessments. US officials are also assisting American tourists affected by the disaster.
The earthquake struck Colombia's coffee-growing region, a mountainous and economically important area. The region experienced another devastating earthquake in 1999, which killed nearly 1,200 people.
Rescue teams continue to search through the rubble as authorities assess the full extent of the destruction.
Did they task the vampires with hanging up the flags š

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A lot of people are ragging on the 'cable diverted to avoid Dobby's grave after Harry Potter fans raise a stink' thing and while I also love ragging on Harry Potter fans being weird, in this case it looks like the story was completely made up.
tl;dr: There's no evidence the interview that this was mentioned in even exists, no evidence the route of the cable has ever changed, and the whole story seems to originate from one dude's podcast.
The story also broke into mainstream via the Daily Mail, who are ... rarely if ever honest or accurate.
āi keep that thang on meā
Do you believe that Lizzie Borden was innocent?
Do you believe that Lizzie Borden was innocent?
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(7/30/26) The Red Cross just declared the second US blood crisis in its history.
Summer sees both a drop off in donations and, at least for our trauma center, a spike in traumas. Trauma centers across the US are in danger of running out of blood for our trauma patients TODAY, which is very scary but, unlike much of the other scary national news coming across our screens these days, is something you can help fix immediately and directly.
We need ASAP donations of blood, for people to spread the word, and for manager types to help facilitate others' donations. All blood types are needed, but universal donor blood (type O) is especially dire.
Only 3% of age-eligible people donate blood and even less donate platelets, which are so important for cancer patients and babies. Please consider making blood donations a regular part of your community service! In the U.S., you can give whole blood every eight weeks and platelets up to 24 times a year.
Blood donation is relatively easy and provides an immediate impact to people in your community -- or even farther! The coolest thing the Red Cross does is tell you where your donations end up. My last donation got shipped from Utah all the way to the University of Philadelphia. (Enjoy my B+ vibes, Philly.)
Also, you get snacks and sometimes gift cards and free swag. If you squeeze a visit in by July 31, you can get a free Fandango movie ticket. (They're doing Hello Kitty swag in September and you bet your ass I already have appointments.)
If you're new to donating, some tips:
Drink plenty of water the night before and before your appointment. The more water, the more plump your veins are and the faster your goes.
Women often get deferred because of low iron levels. Over-the-counter iron supplements a few days before a donation will help boost your count, as will eating iron rich foods. (Cheerios are always my go-to iron boosters.) Don't schedule donations when you're menstruating.
If you are deferred for low iron or vital signs issues, you can try again within 24 hours.
If you've had a tattoo or piercing in the last three months, you will be deferred until a full three months have passed.
Don't donate on an empty stomach. Dehydration and low blood sugar contribution to fainting and dizzy spells.
After donating, don't exercise for 24 hours. You'll likely notice a dip in your tolerance for a few days after a donation as your system adjusts.
If you don't like needles, look away when they poke you and don't look at the donation site. They usually cover the needle during the donation process.
The initial poke does hurt, but the rest of the donation should be painless. If you feel burning, stinging, or any other abnormal sensation from the entry site, tell a phlebotomist and they'll help you out.
If you're like me and you have difficult veins, you can still give! Being hydrated, doing arm curls, and having an electrolyte drink can help plump your veins up. Ask for the most experienced phlebotomist on the floor to draw your blood. They're less likely to dig around or miss on a difficult vein.
While the majority of blood donations have zero issues, bad donations do happen. Sometimes it's a bad draw, an equipment issue, or your body just not cooperating; it sucks and it's not fun, but you'll usually come out of it with a bruise and know how you can make your experience better. Please don't give up because of one bad experience.
Giving blood is one of the coolest things we can do to help vulnerable people; you or someone you know will likely use donated blood in your lifetime.
Also, bring entertainment and headphones. I don't know that I've ever donated through Red Cross, but the local blood bank where I was donating every eight weeks for years, they always had the TV on and it was never something I wanted to watch. And while bringing a friend with plans to keep each other entertained sometimes works according to plan, sometimes you'll instead end up on opposite ends of the donation area.
[Image: White text on a red background. Text reads, "Warning: Blood Crisis. The American Red Cross has declared the second national blood crisis in its history. All blood types are needed, but the situation is especially dire for type O. The blood supply fell nearly 25% in June, and blood donations are now at a four-year summer low. Donors are asked to take action immediately to help save lives."]
If you have a large hospital near you, they may have a blood donation center that you can donate to directly. This means they won't have to pay the Red Cross for blood and they usually have much longer hours of operation, too.
Also, some good news: Type O positive is the most popular type of blood, and it's also the most common in the USA! If you don't know your blood type, there's a good chance you're O+. Even if you're not, your donation is still needed. Type AB is needed for plasma donations, for example.
Black people are also heavily encouraged to donate since many of them can donate to patients with sickle cell disease, even if they do not have sickle cell themselves.
Small expansion on several points:
Black ppl are encouraged to donate because they're most likely be able to best match the the antigen phenotype of the sickle cell patient, many of whom are also black.
Sickle cell patients require regular blood transfusions throughout their life, and with every transfusion there's a risk they develop antibodies which increasingly makes it difficult to get crossmatched blood.
By getting as phenotypically matched blood as possible, it lowers the risk of the patient developing antibodies. When it is not possible to give phenotypically matched blood, we're forced to compromise and cannot give fully phenotype matched blood which increases risk of developing antibodies.
The more ppl who donate, the more likely we won't have to do compromise like this.
Type AB plasma is universal plasma donor, similar to how type O is universal RBC donor.
Platelets are also crucial for major surgeries such as heart surgery as well as patients with mass blood lost.
If you have issues with Red Cross, please consider donating to other blood donation centers. Blood is in short supply and it forces blood banks to switch earlier from say O- to O+ for an O- patient to ration our blood supply and delays in being able to dispense blood products is bad for patients.
The blood shortage is international. Adding resources for the countries with highest tumblr usage, but itās such a literally life-saving issue that Iām sure most countries have a good streamlined website.
Canada:
Experience what you get when you give. Join Canada's Lifeline today.
UK:
Register to be a blood donor, give blood and save lives. Find out more about blood donation.
Australia:
Make Lifeblood part of your routine, whether you're donating blood, plasma, breast milk, microbiota or organ and tissue.
Germany:
In Deutschland sind viele Menschen auf Unterstützung angewiesen oder nehmen Angebote zur persönlichen und sozialen Weiterentwicklung wahr. O

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wake up adso! deodamnatus, you went too hard with that communion wine yesterday. what? homosexual encounters in the abbey? secrets in the library? boy you still reek of your mother's milk and can barely read greek, everything is a secret to you! now make haste, we must reach padua as soon as we can
can we send up a quick thank you to pdf uploaders, torrent seeders, copy sharers, scanlators, fansubbers, digitizers, paywall dodgers, and various other internet archivers for making niche art and information more accessible in a media landscape where all but the most profitable mainstream are often tossed aside and left to rot
Do you know what a codpiece is without looking it up?
(English native speaker) Yes, this is common knowledge
(ENS) Yes, because of a specific interest of mine (=I looked it up)
(ENS) No
(Non-ENS) Yes and this was a word I learned naturally/early bc itās common
(Non-ENS) Yes, but I looked it up
(Non-ENS) No
Itās one of those words I as a non-ENS am unsure about. Thank you for helping me gauge how to treat this word in written texts etc!!! ā„ļø
Explanation, if needed:
āour age of bronze is collapsingā is this beautiful random burst of monty python dialogue amidst the drudgery of nolanās vision and i think it should win the first-ever oscar for best solitary line
[wringing my hands as i look out my window directly overlooking wall street, watching the sun rise on october 29, 1929] aw fuck itās the great depression
someone in the notes accused me of rage baiting by posting this and i just want to assure you that i was the lead harvard scientist working on this study and this is literally 100% the virgin mary and she loved diet pepsi

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Iāve been watching so many old garbage movies recently that Iāve started to have like 60s sci fi themed nightmares where Iām being attacked by like horrible ape monsters and itās actually scary as fuck! What an awful problem to have
Last night I had a dream about a terrible science experiment called Moon 13 that involved putting scantily clad women inside of large lava lamps to harness their innate psychic ability. I wish this was a joke
The Catalogue of Ships in the Iliad is, to a modern audiences, what classicists have called āboring as hell,ā but I canāt help but think that if you were watching Homer recite it it would have been more like when comedians go, āanybody here tonight from Chicago?ā and the Chicagoans in the back start cheering
Homerās like, āand there were forty black ships from⦠LOCRISā and the Locrians in the crowd start going absolutely nuts