A Light Shines Within

flat fuck friday

queued this because I did NOT want to miss another Flat Fuck Friday

I go outside regularly

no you don't

okay fine I go outside weirdly

they reattached his forearms during the surgery god bless

noticed my coworker was on tumblr so i told them “i like your shoelaces” and they said “never say that out loud to me”

this is the correct response btw

fuck I left mine in the jar by the door

I don’t understand how on TV, people can break into homes and immediately find bank statements, passports and super important documents. If someone tried that at my place it would be “I’m sure she keeps her important stuff in her desk. No, wait, this draw is full of pens that don’t work. Aha! This box looks important! Oh, never mind. It’s full of cigarette lighters. She doesn’t even smoke!”

*I* can’t even find my own important documents in my own home half the time. If someone breaks in and instantly finds my stuff they’re hired

Robber, standing in the middle of the room: Now, if I were an anxious, possibly undiagnosed ADHD, bisexual disaster with a really bad memory, where would I put the documents?

i think "take a hike" is like the funniest response to someone. like dude just get outta here. and go experience the wonder of nature for a bit

ancestral form of touch grass

someone stole our fucking meme! can’t have shit in Cincinnati

you have to call someone now

Constantly repeating to myself “you are not broken you are young and learning how to live” during everything I do everywhere I go all the time

for the record. i dont post cringe to keep the twitter users at bay. i do not post cringe at all. if you cringe at my posts, thats on you, not me. i am simply having a good time on this webbed site and if that makes you cringe, i am sorry for whatever you see in me that shames you so.