Served *redacted* And Died

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

Don't use AI to write. Use cocaine like a real author.

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.

I have GOT to stop spending $30

I absolutely adore dogs but I think dog haters are (usually) more justified than cat haters wrt their reasoning