dad called my sandals a Red Flag

i adore murph being on board with nancy danderhoof x darkness man ONLY as a doomed what-if slowburn. that's a man with integrity

Heartwarming story: Little girl doesn’t have to do anything to fund her dad’s surgery because his expenses are covered by his country’s universal healthcare.

Human determination: Man bikes 18 miles to work every morning because he wants to and not because he can’t afford a car and would be fired if he’s late.

Spirit of Brotherhood: Neighbors host housewarming party for elderly resident who doesn’t need help in paying rent because his pension is more than enough.

SO INSPIRING: Local middle school students bake dozens of cupcakes because their home economics class is doing a baking unit. Their school is fully funded with everything they need.

This feels like calibrating my normal detector

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

OP are you telling me we got the death of Gică Petrescu before we got gta6

let the contemporary record show mr beast was pretty ignorable for his whole career if you were just like, busy.

villain going to the goon shelter to pick out a new henchman

this energetic and diabolical boy was rescued from a goon hoarding situation… he loves pulling levers, gloating, and turning cranks with great abandon. prefers to be the only goon. needs an active lair with plenty of enrichment.

now this fella comes with some baggage. his previous villain was going to have put down when he refused to perform unsedated human vivisection as a form of torture. one of our agents intercepted the execution and brought him to the goon shelter. would thrive in an environment of G or PG-rated villainry.

on the other hand, if you’re looking for something a little more… advanced… then this fine lady over here would make a great challenge for an experienced villain able to set firm boundaries. she will NOT be released to first-time villains; proof of prior henchpeople must be demonstrated before adoption approval. high prey drive. under no circumstances should she be left alone with children or small animals. must sign waiver releasing the goon shelter from responsibility if her behavior is deemed excessively depraved.

These two are pair-bonded and may only be adopted together. Up for anything, they are fiercely loyal to their employer provided their needs are met and they are permitted to hold hands. They look alarmingly similar to one another but it is undeterminable whether they are close blood relatives or lovers who choose to dress and style themselves in identical ways. Habit of finishing each other’s sentences with rhyming couplets; we have not attempted to train this out of them. Will answer to whatever names or titles you give them so long as they are complimentary and/or rhyme.

Will you help this goon find his forevil lair? He’s been returned to the goon shelter six times now but we refuse to give up on him. A vile little rat of a man, he’d be the perfect accomplice to someone willing to overlook his unfortunate heterosexuality. If gay-coding is not your style and you don’t expect it from a henchman, please consider giving this little guy a good home in your dastardly schemes.

This guy is not your typical goon. He was rescued from a high-kill shelter after being deemed unfit for henching. His deep baritone voice, his darkly handsome good looks, and his flair for the dramatic have made prospective employers pass over him time and time again, making him the longest resident of the goon shelter. But don’t judge a book by its cover—while his appearance and demeanor suggest “villain”, his real passion is taking orders and faithfully serving a master. If you’re secure in your villainry and not prone to jealousy, he may just be what it takes to turn your base into a lair.

Now this big fella, we've named him Tony the Greek, he was rescued from an illegal goon mill for Runyonland Thugs. This is a very popular breed due to their classically intimidating looks and charming speech patterns, but they are very high-maintenance. The Runyonland Thug was originally bred for debt collection and deterring private investigators, so they need a bustling urban environment to run around in--if you keep him cooped up in your ominous castle or island volcano lair, he'll get restless and start roughing up your other minions. Proper grooming is essential; make sure his suits are nice and pressed and he has a long coat and a hat for when he's going out on errands for you. And they love toys--mostly Tommy guns and brass knuckles, but Tony, you can see, loves his blackjack. Sadly selective breeding has resulted in a tendency towards health problems--alcohol abuse, excessive gambling, getting shot in a police raid--but with care this loyal henchman will bring you joy and your enemies pain for years to come.

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

it is not "punk" to shiny hunt. it is not "punk" to level your pokémon through the daycare. it is not "punk" to EV train on low-level mon. the only thing it is """PUNK""" to do is hang out with dark types and poison types in abandoned hotels

and the winner of superwholock is officially??? no one. we all lost. congrats team