heeby jeeby

[ID: Gauche painting of a vibrant orange-red tiger creature against dark foliage, gazing behind itself to meet the viewer. Its stripes are tinted green, with an extra set of legs; it curves around a small, bright red star. End ID.]

nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

the worst part about having a modern phone is accidentally pressing some cheat-code-ass combination of buttons to bring up the inbuilt AI software, adding to the statistics and making some tech billionaire company freak think I actually want that bullshit

fixing you to prevent decay, removing any water contained in you, replacing the water with paraffin, cutting you into very thin sections using my microtome, placing you on glass slides, staining you using various dyes to reveal your specific tissue components, and holding you in place with a glass cover slip

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg