Uh.. Kupo?

“all zelda games are bad” clearly you’ve never played horsequest

Zelda Heritage Post

googling how to elimate ticketmaster from the face of the planet, how to dismantle ticketmasters floorboards, how to vaporize ticketmaster livenation, how to time travel to ensure ticketmaster never gets created, etc.

7pm to 10pm on a weeknight is 30 minutes

"google ai" "spotify ai dj" "ai assistant" "enhanced by ai" what if i just start beating people over the head with a rock

I love how NYC has done everything under the sun to deal with the rat problem and now they’re circled back and are like “Ok. We’ll legalize bodega cats. We need cats manning the food stores.” ancient problems require ancient solutions.

the thing that really cheeses my cake about flies getting in my house is they clearly don't want to be there anyway. like at least the ants trying to steal cereal from my pantry had a goal and a plan. you are just here because you're too stupid to use a window twice

On the phone at work with the woman born in '37 and she was apologizing for complaining about her pain and I was like oh no worries I got fibro I get it and she was like "oh we're in this together then" and as we were laughing about it she unprompted said "so who are we gonna kill about it" and because this is exactly the energy I wish every customer had i instantly replied "well I can't plan that on a line my bosses can hear" which she got a real kick out of. Anyway go grandma

i hate it when you're heating something up in the microwave and it starts to go snap crackle pop so you take it out but it's still completely cold. shut up then??

I haven't seen dancing pumpkin guy ONCE this year, are you guys okay?

HAPPY FAGTOBER EVERYBODY

i mean, it is the gay holiday

if you’ve never played a pokémon game you’re missing out on the insane things npcs will say to you unprompted. like you’ll be walking down a path and a total stranger will see you and immediately run up to you and trap you in place and say something like ‘the divorce is getting rough but me and my pokémon are getting tough!’ and then start a battle and after you beat their single rat they’ll be like ‘i wasn’t worthy of her…’ or something

Also I hope everyone knows that Miette was fostered before she was adopted, and her foster mom loved that little kitten so much and always hoped she’d gone to a good home. this tweet got so popular that she recognized Miette and reached out to her current mom, and was able to share previously unseen baby pictures

You mean, she saw Miette was kicked like the football and did nothing to help put Mother in jail for a thousand years? I am appalled.

Baby Miette!!!

Babe wake up new Miette lore just dropped

IT’S MIETTE!!!!