Trauma Hero

1. It is impossible to read anybody’s mind. If someone is upset, it is up TO THEM to tell you so you can help. Anyone who expects you to know exactly when they’re upset and what will make them feel better at that time is being unrealistic. 

2. You didn’t deserve it. Even if you think you did something morally reprehensible, two wrongs don’t make a right. 

3. If you don’t do something for somebody else, that does NOT mean you don’t care about them, etc. You can prioritize your own needs before anybody else’s. You weren’t born to be a slave whose only purpose is to fill everybody else’s needs. They shouldn’t expect you to fill their needs anyway. That is a PERSONAL responsibility. 

4. If your abuser(s) have an addiction/alcohol/drug problem, it is NOT your responsibility to fix them, and you can’t anyway. The only way rehab or treatment for an addiction will truly succeed is if the person addicted ADMITS they have a problem, and themselves makes the conscious decision to commit to quitting. You can’t really force someone to quit. 

5. Your abuser(s) have NO RIGHT to tell you how to look, act, what to say, etc. They have no right to control your demeanor, sense of style, social habits, etc. No one does. That is something not found in a healthy relationship.

6. You can leave or cut off a relationship with ANYBODY if you think it is hurting you. It doesn’t matter how much they did for you, how long you’ve been together, etc. It is your life, and you are only responsible for taking care of yourself and doing what makes you happy (as long as you are not hurting anybody else in the process). Healthy relationships are where both parties are happy and want to help each other improve as people.