Correspondence Scholar

you know when you and that e-girl you fancied actually make it and hook up but you live in different cities and shit. yeah that was chill and dating some sort of girl creature is nice but you know when you’ve endured weeks of “would you love me if i was a lamp🥺🥺” and “please mod my stream please mod my stream please mod my stream” and “spit in my mouth” messages and you go to her place for date weekend and the smell just hits you like a wall when you open the door. homegirl got that reek. that no shower november, that cheap vodka and mcdonalds sweat vibe. That thank god you can’t smell me thru twitch kinda beat and you find her huddled in her cave watching whetever chinese cartoon is on the meme this week and before she gets at you with that “daddy i’m not dirty i’m just based and lainpilled” you drag her scrawny lil ass to the shower. she’s passed grimes and moved onto mud and baby you’re a gas station powerwasher. There’s no use resisting, you’re filled with the concerned rage of a diappointed parent. You ain’t daddy, you’re Father dearest. you hose her down properly but there is challenge waiting. the layers of filth, makeup and grease has formed a waterproof cocoon. girl putting the crusty in crustecean and you need a hammer and a chisel to break open the shell to get at the juicy pale white girlmeat inside. She makes a fuss like an angry cat and threaten to refuse wearing the asuka costume for you ever again, but she eventually drops the hissing and succumbs to the soap and water. Colours you ain’t ever seen before swirls around the drain hole and you just know you have to bleach the shit out of that later. Your creature is reborn as she emerges from the dirt and you remember why you love her. She’s beautiful. Cracked open and freed you dry her off with a towel and kiss her forehead. You cook her dinner after airing out her place and she nearly pukes before once again adjusting to solids. You two talk about how you feel as the evening drags on into the long night. Two humans connecting, breaking bread and caring for eachother. Love wins

chilchuck going "sorry leave me outta this one. i cant fight" but then hitting literally every precise shot with an arrow or projectile he ever made in the story INCLUDING PIERCING A RED DRAGONS EYE BY THROWING A KNIFE WHILE LEAPING AWAY my bro is a rogue with dex 20 and wants no one to know biggest liar in history

As a fellow union man i can relate - you do not let your employer know you can do anything you don't want to become your job

Both options convey that he's horny

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

If it's the snack chip he might just be corny.

happy first day of pride everyone

gamers are mad a new game has a female main character and are calling her impossibly unrelatable and ugly? wow a first time for everything

[wishing so bad to vaguepost but not wanting to send harassment after anyone] i saw a post. and it was bad.

Daily affirmations for tesla owners: your car is ugly as hell and everyone hates you

i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer

Saving this post to show my boss who I told the AI flier makes us look lazy and ignorant, and offered to hand draw one. She still printed tons of ai fliers and I'm tempted to make a better one just because it annoys me so much.

Fun update: event was canceled because literally nobody rsvp'd to the AI flier.

I’m sorry I support all jokes but cave johnson would not be supportive of trans women

Due to a recent accident in the labs, the boys downstairs have found a way to turn men into women. Amazing breakthrough, and we wish you all luck on your transition. And your job hunt. You’re all fired. Sorry boys, nothing against you. We just don’t need women around here trying to clean up the lab while the men are trying to do real work. Cave out.

love that fl lures you in with body horror only to stab you in the liver with identity horror. how many of your memories can you lose to the eldritch purple before you're fundamentally a different person? what if you could only escape an oppressive destiny by becoming a fish? are you really human, or are you actually a pile of spiders wearing stolen memories and a very convincing skin-suit? who can say

whenever some sort of unethical labor practice is exposed there's a top redditor in the article comments like "ummm shouldn't these people organize their workplace then? why is it my fault for buying something made with cheap labor?" as if there's not people risking their lives for labor rights in every fucking country this applies to. matter of fact there's corporations who have ended up in lawsuits for killing off labor activists. there are ongoing conflicts surrounding this. everyone on planet earth is a whole person with aspirations regardless of circumstance and no one wants to suffer horrible working conditions no matter how much neoliberals write about the feminist potential of sweatshops

How do you know you're not Asexual? Maybe you just haven't met the right nobody.

This "allosexuality" thing is just a phase. You just need to have really bad sex, and then maybe you'll change your mind.

Today is the anniversary of the death of Jonathan Joss (King of the Hill, Parks and Rec). Jonathan Joss was an Indigenous, gay man who died protecting his transgender husband, on the first day of Pride month. Today we remember him and how he protected his family.