'Til I can think of smthg better, just ignore this

badminton is dont hit the fucking ground you stupid disgusting baby bird

Hockey is I’m gonna launch this peppermint patty at you and the only way to stop me is violence

curling is my two friends and i really want to put a watermelon in that exact spot, but the floor disagrees

relay racing is "here, you take this leek"

Everyone’s going on about having a ‘traditional, old-fashioned Christmas’, but when I burst into the house covered in green paint and demand a champion strike my head from my shoulders with my own axe so that I may return the blow next year, I’m ‘scaring Grandma’.

forgot about the green knight and thought the grinch was just going wild

this is  the only xmas content i want to see, fuck everything else. Shrimper Santa and his flying albino alligators 

@doveghost

I still contend that this is, in fact, the best video on the internet, period. The sheer comedic timing. The knowledge that it cannot possibly have been constructed. The very human expression Pallas cats’ round pupils give them. And the backstory that this was literally the first footage captured by this camera in this placement, that this is the cat immediately noticing his environment has been changed and investigating with all the suspicion of a grumpy old gardener whose gnomes have been moved again…. *chef’s kiss*

You will not die at the hands of quicksand. Ask me how I know this

Please, how do you know this?

quicksand does not have any hands