Grabbity Squeeze

You know what bugs me about soulmate aus? So, I’m assuming that this whole “the first thing your soulmate says to you blahblahblah” is a worldwide thing. So many of the aus I’ve read have a quote at some point that addresses how tragic it is when people have soul words that say something like “hi” or “‘sup” which makes NO SENSE! In a world where the first thing you say to people is THAT important, WHY GOD WHY would the culture still use standard greetings? Who the fuck is still saying hello at this point? Everyone in these worlds would surely develop a personalized greeting different from everybody else’s to prevent confusion. Like how no 2 racehorses can have the same racing name? The best part is that every time people met someone new for the first time, they would try to say something that no one else had said. You’d have people meeting eachother at a job intetview, they’d shake hands, smile politely, then one of them would be like “Every Tuesday, I hard even grape purple farm house sunsets too” and this would be perfectly normal. Or you’d go up to the cash register at Starbucks and instead of saying “Hello, what can i get for you today?” She’d look you right in the eye and say “I don’t know what Space Jam is” THEN ask you what you want and she’d repeat that to every customer in the line for the rest of her career. And because they live in the AU, nobody would think it was weird.

op you are forcibly opening my third eye with a crowbar and i am here for it

#i am a weak and simple woman okay

Fight me I’ll see you in hell

Jefferson figuring out that his son is Spider-Man but instead of telling him “hey you blew your secret” and possibly freaking him out, starts quietly training him in correct police procedure (without him knowing) while also repeatedly talking about how he had issues with the old Spider-Man but the new one seems like a brave and responsible young man and how he would be totally proud of him if he were this guy’s parents

AISBSKSHISGSIWHEJFSHSJHDHSUEHSKSHWKA

I’m sorry, but Miles Morales pretending to date Spider-man to keep his secret identity while his parents 100% know that he’s Spider-man is PEAK humor

And knowing Spider-people, is 100% what he'd do.

This IS the same miles who's galaxy brain maneuver was "who's Morales?" So it doesn't shock me if he did that

another absolutely fantastic trope is when a scifi/fantasy character calls the oblivious object of their affections a term of endearment in their fictional first language during an emotional moment which they refuse to translate, and their love interest assumes due to the unresolved sexual tension fuelled rivalry aspect of their relationship that it's an insult, only to have their world absolutely rocked to its core when they finally manage to get a translation and realize that the other person has been pining for them the entire goddamn time