Mormon time

if this happened like 5 years ago people would be losing their shit, now it’s just like “oh yeah another thing”

oh the wifi password yeah it's the nicene creed in its entirety

@unkandily

@skaraptor

incredibly based speaker yesterday informed us that "the importance of the first vision isn't that God has a body, it's that He responds to and cares for His teenage children in crisis"

Maybe an oracle is someone you pay to talk to and a prophet is someone you bribe to shut up.

An oracle is someone you get put on a waitlist to see and a prophet is someone you have to remove from your yard by pushing them into a wheelbarrow and carting them over the property line. 

God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers and I'm dodging the draft

DW I know that one from heart if you need an explanation

Thanks tumblr user i-suggest-vore. I can always count on you for theological literacy wait is there a different reason you like this story

if this happened like 5 years ago people would be losing their shit, now it’s just like “oh yeah another thing”

hi, missionary expert here! this is not funny, missionaries only do this when they’re under extreme distress. missionaries are free range creatures and are only supposed to travel in packs of two to three at a time. keeping that many in one enclosure is very bad for their health and well being.

Ok Tumblrstake, I have a proposal. A lot of the time we all end up using our tumblrstake blogs to complain about/dunk on people spewing hateful bullcrap about our religion, which makes sense. It's useful to have a place to vent about those kinds of things. But, it is disheartening to regularly go through tumblrstake and be confronted with all the nasty things people are saying about us. So, what would yall think about coming up with a tag to stick on all those kinds of posts for filtering purposes? (I don't know exactly what, I would love help brainstorming)

it has been proposed that we use #boggposting, as in both Governor Boggs, and also getting bogged down. all those in favor please manifest it by the raise of the right hand

Have you ever considered. If somebody who's part of a religious group. Doesn't know something about "their own people's beliefs." Maybe... That's just not actually taught as part of their beliefs. Maybe it's something that either has been corrected, or something that was never believed but got attached to that group by outsiders. H. Have you ever considered tha

it's been too quiet. does anyone wanna discover the tumblr mormons again. or maybe we can resurrect some memes or something

when god closes a door you reach your little paws under it and go mrrwwaaaooow mmreeaaow

"but where will the water for refilling Lake Bonneville come from?" easy. the ocean. cause you see the great salt lake is pretty famously salty and you know what else is salty? that's right. ocean. plus this way we're tackling two environmental issues with one stone, those being that the sea level is rising and that Lake Bonneville is pitifully nonexistent right now. By removing water from our oceans we can restore their proper historical (1901) levels and the Lake to its proper historical (20,000 BCE) levels . as god intended. #wewillrefill