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@morality-animal
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the principal aim of lying is to accomplish your goal in as few lies as possible, and with the least amount of effort necessary to keep those lies going. It follows naturally that the world’s greatest liar speaks only the truth.
Mappa Mundi
just put my joint out on the open mind of a child searing it and instantly destroying his ability to dream or imagine. sad but i don't care
its been 6 months and im still not over this. easily best and most hilarious play in baseball history
for those who dont really understand:
-the first baseman had no reason to chase Baéz, if he just stepped on the bag he was automatically out
-theres two outs, so if hes out, the inning is over. even if the runner on second base gets home, the run doesnt count. its not until hes safe at first that the run scores
-theres no specific rule in baseball about running backwards from first, just that you “cannot retreat to home base” meaning so long as if you dont touch the plate, its fine
-Baéz ran backwards to kill enough to get the run to score, and then stole and extra base on the base on the bad throw
-HE TOOK THE TIME TO UMPIRE HIS OWN PLAY AND CALL SAFE
what a fucking sport yall
@fractaldunes
Javier Baéz’s nickname according to those announcers is El Mago which is spanish for The Wizard
Well earned
love how the explanations do not help at all
Let me see if I can break this down a little more.
Javier Báez (the batter, a Chicago Cub, wearing blue) has just hit the ball. His job is now to run around the bases - 1st, 2nd, 3rd, back to where he started (“home”), at which point he will have scored a point. In practice, he will probably stop partway, wait for the next batter to get a hit, and try to make it home from there.
The Pittsburgh Pirates (in white) are fielding. Their job is to stop the Cubs from scoring by getting them out, by various combinations of catching the ball and tagging people or bases with it.
The scoreboard (top left) shows that one Cub has already made it to second base, so he will resume running now that Javy has a hit. It also shows that two Cubs are out. If a third Cub gets out, their turn to bat will be over, it will be the Pirates’ turn to bat, and the Cubs can’t score anymore (for now, but that’s not relevant).
The Pirate at first base (the first baseman) has the ball. All he needs to do is step on first base while holding it before Javy gets there, and Javy is out. This is probably the number one most common thing a first baseman has to do.
He does not do it.
For some reason he starts chasing Javy, presumably trying to tag him with the ball directly. This is a perfectly legitimate way of getting him out, but also completely unnecessary.
This has never happened to Javy before. Unsure what else to do, he just kind of… jogs backwards away from him.
Meanwhile, the Cub who was at second base (Contreras) has made it all the way back to home. Because the Pirates’ first baseman has helpfully walked the ball back home, he can easily toss it to the Pirate at home (the catcher) who will tag Contreras out.
The catcher doesn’t tag him in time.
The umpire signals that Contreras is safe (not out).
Javy also signals that Contreras is safe, just for fun. He’s never been nearby when a teammate makes it home before, and he’s enjoying himself.
Notice that the score has not changed, even though Contreras made it home. That’s because Javy is still technically running to first base. If he gets out before he reaches it, the Cubs’ turn to bat is over, and nothing else that’s happened since he hit the ball matters.
Javy remembers this, and heads back to first base. The catcher throws the ball to another Pirates fielder, who is frantically running to do the first baseman’s job.
He doesn’t catch it.
Javy is safe at first. Contreras scores (although the scoreboard won’t change for a second).
Javy notices how far away that ball landed, and decides he can make it to second base before anyone picks it up and tags him out.
An offscreen Pirate throws the ball to second base, where another Pirate is ready and waiting to catch it, tag Javy out, and end the Cubs’ turn to bat.
He doesn’t catch it.
Javy is safe at second. The video doesn’t show it, but he will go on to score as well.
This should have been a very easy out for the Pirates, but through two dropped catches and one truly bizarre decision from the first baseman, they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory and turned it into two points for the Cubs.
The Cubs won this game by two points.
HAPPY OPENING DAY OF BASEBALL 2022 YALL. LETS PRAY FOR MORE OF THIS BULLSHIT
I know I’ve reblogged this before, but here’s a version with an explanation for folks unfamiliar with the game* and this amazing comment:
Never change, Pittsburgh

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mr. substance abuser has a suggestion for how we should spend the afternoon
that's MS. substance abuser to you
sorry women sorry sorry sorry you can kick me really hard in the head
they should invent a way for me to do tasks without the mind torture
there is a world out there I can’t comprehend
behold, context
I feel like I’m forgetting something important to me…
lmao
come on
"of course this is a valid historical source. it says 'this happened' right there at the top of the page."
This is really funny considering the bible was retranslated multiple times before being translated to English
well many modern translations use much earlier versions to source their translation - it's not exactly a game of telephone once we have the written record, though the written record we do have starts some time after the actual events depicted so yeah there is a decent gap. still though, it's funny for a lot of reasons
1. it's just not true, there's other more reliable accounts from the time period
2. the Bible is written by a lot of different people with different levels of credibility. a lot of the attributed authors are also wrong, and many are written by someone other than the claimed author
3. some of the books that claim to be written by different authors as evidence to multiple eyewitness testimonies (the gospels), are actually so similar in account, scholars generally agree that there was another single source (called Q) which they all drew from instead
4. entirely ignores that the Bible claims dead people can come back to life and that divine beings are real, among other things. if even a modern text claimed this we would probably dismiss it because of how absurd and unlikely it is. even if the Bible were relatively reliable otherwise, the claims it makes are not remotely comparable to other historical accounts which recount you know, normal stuff that we see happen regularly
also 5. the longer you go between the date of Jesus' alleged resurrection and the writing of the books the weirder and more fantastical the books get. you can see this directly as you read the Bible, tales of miracles are more present in the newer books, and this trend never actually stops, Christians just decided to stop including new books. if you go read any of the apocryphal gospels they get even more ridiculous and supernatural. this is exactly how every other kind of myth making happens but Christians think they're so special and immune from people making stuff up
lmao
come on
"of course this is a valid historical source. it says 'this happened' right there at the top of the page."
This is really funny considering the bible was retranslated multiple times before being translated to English
well many modern translations use much earlier versions to source their translation - it's not exactly a game of telephone once we have the written record, though the written record we do have starts some time after the actual events depicted so yeah there is a decent gap. still though, it's funny for a lot of reasons
1. it's just not true, there's other more reliable accounts from the time period
2. the Bible is written by a lot of different people with different levels of credibility. a lot of the attributed authors are also wrong, and many are written by someone other than the claimed author
3. some of the books that claim to be written by different authors as evidence to multiple eyewitness testimonies (the gospels), are actually so similar in account, scholars generally agree that there was another single source (called Q) which they all drew from instead
4. entirely ignores that the Bible claims dead people can come back to life and that divine beings are real, among other things. if even a modern text claimed this we would probably dismiss it because of how absurd and unlikely it is. even if the Bible were relatively reliable otherwise, the claims it makes are not remotely comparable to other historical accounts which recount you know, normal stuff that we see happen regularly

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hey man it's me. your old friend. qing dynasty portrayal of the mexican flag.
no you dont masaru
it is like. i am deliberately not posting that much about the nolan odyssey because i don't have much genuine interest and i find the whole like outrage theater people do at adaptations to be exhausting and unproductive and often misguided + i don't really care what celebrities are doing. but zendaya's 3000-year-old iranian earrings are like. such an on-the-nose fuck you. like 1. you can practically feel the stylist going "oh, it's old, it must be on-theme!" without really considering that ancient cultures are not interchangeable. but also 2. there's a very clear and important difference between ancient greece and ancient iran, in that there's a reason zendaya isn't wearing ancient greek artifacts on her ears--ancient greece has a cultural cachet that ancient iran does not, by virtue of its position as the perceived origin point of "western" (white) civilization. they are just interchangeable enough that zendaya can wear the artifacts of one civilization to a premiere of a work based on the mythos of another, but just different enough that she can get away with one but not the other.
and of course there's 3. which is that modifying and wearing a cultural artifact of dubious provenance taken from a country the us is actively bombing (and in doing so presumably destroying plenty of historic buildings/artifacts) asserts a certain lack of respect for and/or sense of ownership over that country's people and culture. and obviously this is what makes it seem like such a specifically heinous move.
Really important to note when it comes to (3) that the elite (and frankly Orientalising) appropriation of ancient Near Eastern artefacts as jewellery has a long colonial history. Cylinder seals are these little cork-shaped cylinders with pictoral or written designs engraved on them, and work the same way as a signet ring in that you could roll them over wet clay to leave an impression of the engraved relief on the clay to dry. They look like this:
(Cylinder seal of First Dynasty of Ur Queen Puabi, found in her tomb, dated circa 2600 BC, with modern impression. Inscription: 𒅤𒀜 𒎏 - Pu3-abi(AD) Nin - Queen Pu-abi. Nicked straight off Wikipedia as it's a fab comparison of seal / relief.)
In the British Museum you can find "Lady Layard's jewellery". Austin Henry Layard is a guy whose academic efforts I'm admittedly very indebted to. He was passionate about Venetian and Roman glass and did a great job re-popularising both styles in the UK, but more importantly he was the assyriologist who excavated Nineveh and the Library of Ashurbanipal—where we've found the majority of the Gilgamesh tablets. Pioneer figure in terms of Near Eastern archaeology... but check this out:
This is a necklace Layard had made for his wife. It uses real cylinder seals.
To quote the British Museum's entry on the item: One cylinder seal is Akkadian (about 2200 BC) and four belong to the second millennium BC, but eight are late Assyrian (about 1000-612 BC). Late Babylonian and Achaemenid stamp seals (about 600-350 BC) are used for the pendants and clasp.
Enid later wrote in her diary that, when they dined with Queen Victoria in 1873, it was 'much admired'.
Ancient Near Eastern artefacts, repurposed as jewellery in a set that doesn't give a single fuck about accurately dating them, let alone treating them with the sort of respect you might perhaps expect of items over four thousand years old. Instead they've become a mark of elite colonial status, an Oriental curiosity utterly separated from their historical context. They're 'old'. They're non-descriptly 'other'. Time and place dissolve into an attractive and vague exoticism.
All while the place these seals have been appropriated from is busy being exploited by the very empire this "jewellery" is being shown off to!
So to bring it back to your third point: you're absolutely right!!! And this has precedence dating right back to the start of Western study (and plundering) of the Ancient Near East. It's a carelessness, it's an ignorance of historical context, and it's explicitly colonial.
i am utterly baffled by the image and short essay hidden in the background of this

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I was lying in the leaf litter today when some moss spoke to me. "Excuse me, do you know the species of this fallen log beneath me?" asked the moss. "Hmm. No. Sorry, I'm a little fuzzy on logs," I said. "What a coincidence," said the moss. "I'm a little fuzzy on logs too."
When medicine is holding the migraine back but you can still kinda feel it in the distance waiting to return