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“my hair has returned to its factory settings” ranks Top Five funniest thing Taylor’s ever said on the fly on stage

so overwhelmed by the love my little poem received, i wanna cry

when my mom crashed her bike, my dad texted me "call me. it's mom" and when I texted to ask if she was ok he just said "no" and didn't elaborate

I think Ishmael Mobydick would really flip out if he learned how sperm whales sleep

If Herman Melville knew this we'd have a whole chapter about the pillars of damnation

what super expensive indulgence would u get for urself if u suddenly came into a bunch of money?? assume all bills/mortgages paid, all friends helped: what treat are u buying just for u?? for me it would be a quilted lambskin chanel bag in iridescent pink

Honestly? A house 😂 only way I'm getting one.

[Text ID: me falling apart because my clothes are touching my skin weird and I have plans in six weeks from today /end ID]