чёрт 👁

imagine if i did my work. if i sat down and Did it. and it was Done. can you even imagine such a thing

Why isn't "too scary" a good enough reason to never drive a car

Girl you do NOT want my scared ass behind the wheel I'll take you all with me whether I'm trying to or not

#that giraffe is being so cute and curious and gentle#and that is running full speed because this is the worst fucking day if his LIFE#like IMAGINE having your butt gently scooted by the snoot of a pressence so massive#your body is not designed to even see high enough to see the top of#abd hes just gently nudging you along as you run for your life as fast as your legs can carry you#giraffe is playing humans are enjoying turtle is living out a cosmic horror story

I remember october like it was yesterday

Not to be non-American on the american website but the drinking age being set to 21 is so hysterical to me in some contexts

Reading a movie review atm and a 18 years old character gets drunk and the reviewer is like "at only 18 mind you," like can you people actually hear yourselves. Surreal. Only 18. Fuck me

I keep getting this Etsy ad where this person says, "My personal style wouldn't be what it is without self-expression," and every time, I'm floored by what an absolute nothing sentence that is.

people are getting high as fuck on new stupid drug called "night drawing" its making them stay iup all the goddamn night drawing. and brother let me tell you. the drawings. not even good

HE'S SO CUTE!!!11!!1!11 😩😩😩😩 /shows everyone a rotting corpse

if I were to meet my clone, absolute first step is fucking. zero communication necessary we both know what's up. maybe like a single nod.

dude why did you just walk up to me and quicksave

closes my eyes and tries really hard to develop a "humiliating job interview" sexual fetish so my life becomes easier

disabilities are not superpowers, that being said having auditory processing disorder my entire life made me insane at freestyling, cause my mental libary of homophobic phrases (rhymes) is massive and keeps expanding every day